Scarlet suffers through self indulgence, double fisted eating, tantrums and a Kid Rock infatuation.
Fat Actress – The Complete First Season: 1 Star
3 hours of watching Kirstie Alley stuff her face, whine and cry, beg for attention, step on people around her and just being lazy isn’t my idea of lots of fun. Yes, Kirstie is a large woman and Hollywood shuns anything over a size zero, but do we have to give confirmation and support to an already messed up system. The idea behind Fat Actress is great, it was the way it was presented that did not work. The producers and writers should have went at it with a little more subtle approach giving away to stereo-types and jokes, but not slapping us in the face with it over and over again until we are numb and there is no response left. If you are the sensitive type and feel insecure about yourself image then watch this show in short doses. I agree that people need to take a joke and look at themselves with a less critical eye, but Fat Actress goes over the top.
|[B]Released on DVD May 24[/B]
Kirstie Alley stars in a hybrid comedy between reality tv and a sitcom with her as the main focus; more like her weight and failing career being the main focus. A great deal of the show centers on the fact that Kirstie has become a plus size actress and is sex crazed and wanting a break in the Hollywood feeding frenzy. Alley, with the assistance of her make-up and hair artist Kevyn (Rachael Harris) and personal assistant and goffer boy Eddie (Bryan Callen), sticks to a slap stick comedy based on the humor of making fun of stereo-types and fat women. Nothing thrown at the double standards to fat men or balding and aging men in the industry, just fat women. Maybe next season will start slinging a little mud out towards other Hollywood standard flaws. Kirstie goes through daily tasks of eating and eating more and making a complete fool of herself, not willing to change to make a difference in her life and not working at getting a job, but rather having the money handed over to her for sexual favors.
[B]1-1 Big Butts[/B]
In this episode she starts out on the scales and has a total melt down over her weight, to the point of collapsing on the floor and crying like a baby. She talks to her agent like he is a child and claims that this is it she is dyeing. In response guest star John Travolta calls the cops thinking something is truly wrong and Kirstie is being held captive, when she is out getting a greasy burger and fries to feed her manic fat depression. Most of the episode is a winey fat actress, crying about getting a boyfriend and being noticed. It is comical to see her hit John Travolta up for a job on his new film or doing another Look Who’s Talking.
[B]1-2 Charlie’s Angels[/B]
Oh Yeah! This is the beginning of the Kid Rock infatuation. Kirstie goes gaga for Kid Rock, meeting up with him in a bar at the same time she meets up with a low rent director. She is trying to get a part in a funky version of Charlie’s Angels and get a little Kid Rock action on the side, but she took a ton of laxatives before showing up and spends most of the episode in the bathroom. She gets the part, but misses out on Kid Rock.
[B]1-3 Holy Lesbo Batman[/B]
Kirstie tries to fit in with Gwen Stefani by pretending like she is a jogger and finds herself in a secret parking situation and thrown in jail. The jailer likes her a lot and starts hitting on her, by the way the jailer is a woman. Kirstie borrows a phone from her and calls Kelly Preston to get her out. Kelly plays a bad advice dietician who puts on a big scene in front of the paparazzi with Kirstie to get notice in the tabloids.
[B]1-4 The Koi Effect[/B]
This episode Blossom shows up, yes Blossom from NBC’s series Blossom, Mayim Bialik plays Kirstie’s next door neighbor who hates her with a vengeance. Mayim suggests that Kirstie is fat because she is in such a large house and maybe she should move into a smaller space to shrink in size. This episode has plenty of little people, little shoes, little play houses etc. as Kirstie tries the Koi Effect in shrinking. Think small and you will be small, what a joke. Blossom sleeping with Kirstie’s looser assistant is pretty funny.
[B]1-5 Crack For Good[/B]
Kirstie is trying to get Oprah to redesign her kitchen to help her loose weight and as soon as the camera crews show up so does her crack addicted brother (Christopher McDonald), alcoholic father (Geoffrey Lewis) and self-absorbed mother (Connie Stevens) to embarrass her. This episode is humorous because the brother is trying to save Kirstie from her weight problems, comparing crack to food and trying to convince her that crack is better for her.
[B]1-6 Cry Baby McGuire[/B]
Kirstie has found her guy, or has she. She is invited to a high dollar party where she runs into a millionaire who buys her the world, but cries at the drop of the hat. He balls about bumping his leg, not getting his way and not getting dinner, then he leaves Kirstie claiming that she is emotionally unbalanced and disturbed. This episode comes off as completely annoying and shows that Kirstie is a fat woman who is desperate for anything.
[B]1-7 Hold This[/B]
She’s broke, lost it all, her holding deal is up and she is left holding an empty wallet and no show to get paid for. Kirstie’s assistants and agent sets up a deal with Jeff Zucker, NBC exec, to get her more money and a new holding deal. Jeff ends up meeting Kirstie on her grounds, actually in her bathroom while she is in a bubble bath and gets put into a compromising situation and offers her a 2 million dollar show deal and runs out of the house in tears. Kirstie decides to throw a party, but she finds out the love of her life, Kid Rock, has married another and is never coming for her. The last scene in the show is Kirstie falling to the floor and playing Scarlet “As God as my witness, I’ll never be fat again”.
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