May 2007

The Empire Strikes Back

  • Title: The Empire Strikes Back
  • IMDB: link

It is a dark time for the Rebellion.  Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.

Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet a group of freedom fighters led by Luke Skywalker has established a new secret base on the remote ice world of Hoth.

The Evil Darth Vader, obsessed with finding young Skywalker, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space….

star-wars-empire-strikes-back-posterThe rebels, after their huge victory at Yavin, are once again on the run.  It seems the Emperor is a little miffed about them blowing up the Death Star and has put all the forces of the Imperial Navy in Vader’s hands to hunt down Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill).

On Hoth Luke recieves a vision of Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness) who tells him to go to the Degobah system and learn from the legendary Jedi Master Yoda (Frank Oz).  On arriving Luke discovers an odd little creature who turns out to be Yoda and agrees, reluctantly, to instruct Luke on the ways of the Force.

Elsewhere in the galaxy Darth Vader (David Prowse/James Earl Jones) relentlessly pursues the Millenium Falcon through space, an asteroid feild, and to a mining colony owned by an old friend of Han’s, Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams).  Han (Harrison Ford) is captured and frozen in carbonite (but not before giving one of the greatest lines in movie romance history!) and turned over to the bounty hunter Boba Fett, and Leia (Carrie Fisher) and Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) are taken prisoner by the Empire and used as bait to lure Luke to a similar fate as his smuggler friend.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Trainwreck at World’s End

  • Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
  • IMDB: link

“There was a time when a pirate was free to make his own way in the world, but our time is coming to an end.  Our enemies are united; they vow to destroy us.  The Pirate Lords from the four corners of the Earth must stand together.”

pirates-at-worlds-end-posterThe film begins, after a bizarre introduction about singing coins and eight pieces of nine (don’t ask) which is never satisfactorily explained, with Will (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth (Keira Knightley), and Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) in Singapore.
Their visit has two purposes.  The first is to gain the maps and ship necessary to travel to Davy Jone’s Locker and rescue Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp).  The second involves a poorly thought out, and even worse explained, plotline about a meeting of pirate lords, mysterious artifacts, and a goddess which Barbossa wants to use to fight back against Norrington’s (Jack Davenport) control of the seas.

After making a deal with Captain Sao Fang (Chow Yun-Fat) the group sails to rescue Jack (who doesn’t make his first appearance until more than 20 minutes into the film) who is lost in a bizarre land where he is haunted by mirror images of himself and stones which turn into crabs.

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Y’arr, She Blows

  • Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
  • IMDB: link

I stand by my assessment that Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest was better than The Curse of the Black Pearl, and now I can say it was the best of the three Pirates films.  At World’s End is so clumsily and half-assedly assembled that it loses all of the fun its predecessors had, and fails to come up with a single justifiable excuse for wasting two hours and forty minutes.

Things pick up in this film pretty quickly after the end of Dead Man’s Chest, with the whole gang suddenly in Singapore asking a piratificated Chow Yun-Fat for a ship and a crew so that they might sail to Davy Jones’ Locker to retrieve Johnny Depp‘s Jack Sparrow.  Which got me thinking – how did they get to Singapore without a ship and crew?  That place is pretty far from the Caribbean from what I understand, and starting the movie with a plot hole that big is a pretty awful way to begin a film.

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Star Wars – The New Jedi Order Books

Taking place a few years into the future (beginning 21 years after The Battle of Yavin) The New Jedi Order focuses around an invasion of a bloodthirsty race of beings from another galaxy, invisible to the Force, armed with biological technology, with an intense hatred for droids and machines, and determined to cleanse this new universe and remake it their own image.

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