December 2007

Third Annual Razorblade Awards

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Yes that’s right, the end of the year is upon us.  Starting next week we’ll take a look back at the year that was 2007.  We’ll examine the best of the best and the worst of the worst.  To kick things off we’ll start with our Third Annual Razorblade Awards for the most memorable (and truly awful) performances and moments in film we were subjected to this past year.  The Razorblade recognizes the only thing which could stop this awfulness – letting audiences slit their wrists.  Previous winners includ Paul Walker, The Dukes of Hazard, A Sound of Thunder, Tideland, Hilary and Haylie Duff, and Underworld Evolution.  (check out the 2005 and 2006 winners).

As for this year’s winners go ahead and take a peek in the Full Diagnosis, you know you want to.

3rd Annual Razorblade Awards
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Glitter Award for film
The Condemned

Ed Wood Award for direction
Christopher Cain for September Dawn

Sam J. Jones Award for Acting
TIE: Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy, and Eddie Murphy for Norbit

Elizabeth Berkley Award for Acting
Lindsay Lohan for I Know Who Killed Me

Louis Gossett Jr. Award (AKA the Aces: Iron Eagle III Award) for previous Oscar winners
TIE: Nicolas Cage for Ghost Rider and Cuba Gooding Jr. for Daddy Day Camp

Halle Berry Award (AKA the Catwoman Award) for previous Oscar winners
Diane Keaton for Because I Said So

Macaulay Culkin Award for child acting
AnnaSophia Robb for The Reaping

Plan 9 From Outer Space Award for unintentional comedy
The Reaping

Pauly Shore Award for humorless comedy
TIE: The Ex and Norbit

Rambo III Award for screenplay
September Dawn

Land of the Lost Award for special effects
Blood and Chocolate

M. Night Shyamalan Award for plot twist
Next

Wild Wild West Award for movie adapted from television
Transformers

Congo Award for movie adapted from a book
Blood and Chocolate from the Annette Curtis Klause novel

Double Dragon Award for movie adapted from a video game
Hitman

Mr. Deeds Award for film remake
The Invasion, remake of Body Snatchers, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Superman III Award for sequel
Daddy Day Camp sequel to 2003’s Daddy Day Care

Mandy Moore2 Award (AKA the Because I Said So / License to Wed Award) for two or more entries in one calendar year
Mandy Moore for Because I Said So and License to Wed

Color of Night Award for gratuitous nudity
American Pie Presents: Beta House

Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle Award for gratuitous butt shots
American Pie Presents: Beta House

Arnold Schwarzenegger Award for gratuitous violence
The Condemned

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Beta House

/ / Home Video
  • Title: American Pie Presents: Beta House
  • IMDb: link

American Pie Presents: Beta HouseAmerican Pie Presents Beta House is uncompromising, unapologetic, softcore porn.  Skinamax is gonna love this film.  Sure it makes as much sense as Carrot Top fan sites, but you’re not watching a flick like this for the story.  It lacks the heart of the original film (of whom only Eugene Levy appears), but it hits the sleaze factor the target audience will be hoping for, and then some.  I can’t really recommend it, but if you’ve got beer, buds, no babes, and nothing to do late one night there’s worse ways you could spend your time.

Here’s where I normally discuss the plot with you, such as it is.  The film follows Erik Stifler (John White) to college with his best bud Cooze (Jake Siegel) where they will meet new friends and pledge his cousin’s (Steve Talley) fraternity, the Beta House.  The film returns many of the characters from American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile but since plot is not the primary storytelling device those who didn’t see the previous film (like me) shouldn’t feel like they’ve missed much.

There are also love stories between Erik and the cute Ashley (Meghan Heffern) and Cooze and a Southern belle with a embarrassing secret (Sarah Powers), and the ongoing battle between the Betas and the Geek house, but that’s just window dressing for nudity, semen and vomit jokes, and general mayhem.

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Meet the Savages

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: The Savages
  • IMDb: link

The SavagesWritten and directed by Tamara Jenkins (Slums of Beverly Hills) The Savages tells the tale of a dysfunctional family brought back together to deal with illness and the hovering specter of death.  With a bittersweet tone, finding humor in human frailty and the stark drama, it’s a film definitely worth you time.

Jon Savage (Philip Seymour Hoffman) is a college professor and writer of scholarly work in Buffalo.  Wendy Savage (Laura Linney) works temp jobs and is a struggling playwright in New York City.  The pair are brought back together to deal with their estranged father’s (Philip Bosco) increasing dementia and failing health.

This is a film about the tough choices and circumstances families go through with the ailing of their parents.  It doesn’t shy away from the pain and guilt inherent in the tough but necessary choices so many families are put through dealing with parents who can no longer take care of themselves.

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Happy Holidays

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All of us here wish you and yours festive holiday fun.  Due to X-Mas hitting on a Tuesday this year our regular posts will be pushed back to match the delays.  You will find our DVD posts on Wednesday, when the new DVD’s will hit the stores, and the latest edition of our Comics Rack on Friday, when comics finally make it out to the shops.  And make sure you come by Thursday for the 3rd Annual Razorblade Awards!  Of course we’ll have new movie reviews scattered throughout the week including Ian’s review today of The Bucket List.  So from all of us here, and of course Santa Jesus, Happy Holidays folks!

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This Week in Independent Film

/ / Film News & Trailers

Daniel Day Lewis stars as an oil man in the early 20th century in this bleak, and also darkly funny, view of the human condition based off the work of Upton Sinclair.  Paul Dano, Ciaran Hinds, and Dillon Freasier also star.  Check out the official site.  Many critics are raving about the film, come back Wednesday when opens exclusively in New York and Los Angeles and find out if we think the praise is justly deserved.  Larger trailer available in the Full Diagnosis.

There Will Be Blood
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