May 2017

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

  • Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
  • IMDb: link

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales movie reviewHow does a movie based off an amusement park ride end up with four sequels? Taking a page out of the book of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, the latest entry into the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise goes back to the beginning to try and recapture the magic of its best film. Although it delivers not much more than a pale imitation of Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, borrowing heavily from every major plot point, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales is easily the least shitty sequel in a franchise that knows something about shitty sequels.

See if any of this sounds familiar: A man (Brenton Thwaites) with a pirate father and a woman (Kaya Scodelario) too independent for her time befriend the crazy pirate Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) while being pursued by a ship of undead cursed souls seeking a treasure that can save them and led by a captain (Javier Bardem) who hates Jack.

While all a bit too familiar, the choice to allow Jack to be more part of an ensemble rather than the central character certainly helps the film. Although even with less screentime the character grows tiresome at times.

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Baywatch

  • Title: Baywatch
  • IMDb: link

Baywatch movie review

Based on the 90s television show not good enough for network television which earned a following in syndication by providing soap opera style plots that often had little to do with the characters’ actual jobs of lifeguards, comes a new feature film version of the franchise. Dumb, almost entirely forgettable (I can’t name a single plot from the show either), and mostly an excuse to put beautiful people in swimsuits and have then run around on-camera, the movie is exactly what you’d expect.

With a generic script which could have been easily adapted from any number of other properties, the set-up is fairly simple. Former Olympic swimmer turned failed human being Matt Brody (a ripped Zac Efron) arrives on the beach as one of the lifeguards’ new recruits. The others include the underdeveloped Summer Quinn (Alexandra Daddario) and the goofy comic relief Ronnie Greenbaum (Jon Bass). While Brody immediately clashes with the lifeguard leader Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne “It’s Okay to Call Me The Rock Again” Johnson), Ronnie is given his own subplot involving his attraction to the beautiful C.J. (Kelly Rohrbach).

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Pretty Little Liars – In the Eye Abides the Heart

  • Title: Pretty Little Liars – In the Eye Abides the Heart
  • wiki: link

“People don’t like the truth. The truth is slippery, can’t depend on it.”

Pretty Little Liars - In the Eye Abides the Heart TV review

Tensions rise for all the Liars in “In the Eye Abides the Heart.” While Aria (Lucy Hale) goes to work for A.D. and fears Ezra (Ian Harding) being pulled back into his old life with Nicole (Rebecca Breeds), Spencer (Troian Bellisario) continues to try to find Mary Drake (Andrea Parker) as she also becomes the primary suspect in Archer Dunhill‘s murder. As evidence starts to mount it becomes clear Spencer may need more help than Marco (Nicholas Gonzalez) is willing to give to keep his lover and her friends out of prison.

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