Avengers Craptacular: Black Widow & Punisher

by Alan Rapp on March 31, 2014

in DVD Reviews 

  • Title: Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher
  • IMDB: link

Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & PunisherI’m disappointed that DC Animation is headed full-speed into the New 52 era, but I guess I should count my blessings that despite falling from their former greatness at least they aren’t sharing the gutter with Marvel animation. There’s so much awful it’s impossible to know where to begin when discussing their latest straight-to-DVD feature Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher, but I’ll start here: This is the worst Punisher movie I’ve seen (and that’s saying something!).

The story features a forced team-up between T&A Bishoujo Black Widow (Jennifer Carpenter) and murdering Punisher (Brian Bloom) to take down the terrorist group Leviathan who is using stolen S.H.I.E.L.D. technology to create mind-controlled soldiers. Featuring an anime-inspired style Marvel has fallen in love with recently (and even DC is using more of), the storyline also involves Black Widow’s former lover turned terrorist (Grant George) and a mid-level thug (Kyle Hebert) the Punisher is killing his way through the streets to get his hands on.

To call the movie a piece of shit may be disparaging to feces, so I’ll simply say other than offering some okay animated action sequences surrounded by awful soap-opera plotlines and ridiculously bad dialogue there’s almost nothing redeeming about this film. Things pick-up a little in the movie’s final 10 minutes with the arrival of the Avengers for the so-so final battle, but by then I’d long given up on the movie. Had my purpose not been to write a review for the film I doubt I could even have finished it as I struggled for two days to make it through 83-minutes of one of the worst animated features I have ever seen.

Available on both DVD and Blu-ray, extras include an UltraViolet digital copy of the film and a pair of short behind-the-scenes featurettes on the characters and making of the film.

[Sony Pictures Home Entertainment, DVD $19.99 / Blu-ray $26.99]

DAVID WALSTON March 31, 2014 at 8:52 pm

Thanks for the heads up. DC is dominating the animated market, I just wish Marvel would make a decent one. The Avengers Earth Mightiest Heroes was good, then they tried to tie the MARVEL’S AVENGERS ASSEMBLE into the movie look and screwed it over.

Alan Rapp March 31, 2014 at 9:14 pm

What I’ve seen of the various Marvel animated shows has been mixed. I’ve liked pieces of Ultimate Spider-Man and Avengers but not enough to make me a consistent viewer. I tried but couldn’t get into the Hulk cartoon. The shows have been okay, but far from great, but the Marvel animated movies I’ve seen have been pretty horrific.

I don’t know if you’ve seen the Wolverine anime series (which I couldn’t watch for any length of time either). This is like an even more Americanized version of that except longer and with even worse writing.

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