1 Razor

American Psycho II: All American Girl

  • Title: American Psycho II: All American Girl
  • IMDb: link

Originally a completely separate throwaway slasher flick, it’s unclear whether anyone involved in this project, including director Morgan J. Freeman or screenwriters Alex Sanger and Karen Craig, ever watched American Psycho or read the book it was adapted from. Mila Kunis, who didn’t know Lions Gate planned to connect this story to American Psycho (let alone call it a sequel), would publicly apologize for the film and beg others to let the franchise die.

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Snow White and the Seven Samurai

  • Title: Snow White and the Seven Samurai
  • IMDb: link

The Asylum’s 2024 mockbuster Snow White and the Seven Samurai is odd little low budget, straight-to-video, flick that seems to exist only because both Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Seven Samurai have the number 7 in the title. Fiona Dorn “stars” as the daughter of a mobster (Eric Roberts) known for his heavy cocaine distribution (earing her the nickname Snow White – despite no one actually calling her that).

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In the Lost Lands

  • Title: In the Lost Lands
  • IMDb: link

There’s a moment, perhaps 80-minutes into the film, where our protagonists battle cursed skeleton warriors inside a hollowed-out nuclear reactor which provides the only momentary thrill of an otherwise dreadful adaptation of a George R. R. Martin short story featuring a witch (Milla Jovovich) with pulsating eyeballs and a hunter (Dave Bautista) traveling through a dystopian desert in search of a werewolf. Filmed on a modest budget for large-scale sci-fi/horror, In the Lost Lands earned back one-ninth of the film’s cost. The term is often overused nowadays, but this is what a true flop looks like. It did no better with critics than audiences with its hackneyed storytelling and half-developed concepts finding little to no support.

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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

  • Title: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
  • IMDb: link

Widely regarded as one of the worst films ever made, the low-budget Santa Claus Conquers the Martians features a story about Martians kidnapping Santa Claus (John Call), and two American children (Victor Stiles and Donna Conforti), to Mars to instill the spirit of Christmas and wonder in their own children. Just about as wacky as it sounds, the story also takes a turn when one of the Martian (Vincent Beck) soldiers, disagreeing with this plan to sully Martian society with Earth nonsense, repeatedly attempts to sabotage the endeavor and murder Santa and the children.

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