Alan Rapp

Empty Chest

  • Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
  • IMDB: link

pirates-dead-mans-chest-posterPirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest is a perfect example why sequels shouldn’t be made.  There’s nothing original here as the film gives us action scene after action scene, without any real story to hold them together. 

Nor does it help that the film steals plot, characters, scenes and more from Clash of the Titans (the Kracken, the floating coffins), King Kong (the island and its multicultural tribe, the running time), The Return of the Jedi (the Quarren, the Sarlaac, the Ewok village, the ceremonial fires and the exact scene as Han Solo tries to blow the fire out), Raiders of the Lost Ark (the tribe chasing the explorers through the jungle to the safety of the plane, the giant boulder), The Matrix Reloaded (the search for an oracle, the gathering together of forces on an adventure in the next film) and others even including American Gladiators (atlasphere)!

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A Blacksmith, a Pirate, and a Lovely Lass

  • Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
  • IMDb: link

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A movie about pirates AND it was based off a amusement park ride?  With two strikes like that against it there should be no way Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is this good.  But it is!

Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) washed up onto a ship as a boy, rescued by Governor Wetherby Swann (Jonathan Pryce) and the royal navy.  Now Will is an assistant blacksmith who is in love with the Governer’s daughter Elizabeth (Keira Knightly), who fancies him as well, but due to social customs is unable to admit his feelings.

Into our story comes the very odd Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) a pirate without a ship whose arrival begins a series of events that leads to his imprisonment, Elizabeth’s kidnapping, and the discovery of a dark curse aboard Cap’n Jack’s former ship the Black Pearl.

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Philip K Dick: The Movies

From the mind of a paranoid schizophrenic comes alien technology, metaphysics, simulacra (artificial life forms designed to mimic humans), soothsaying, philosophy, alternative universes and futures, and death.  Not the happiest of universes I’ll grant you, but one that bursts with a distinct vision resulting in original and uncompromising tales.

Several of Philip K Dick’s works have been translated into film.  We’ll have the review for the latest, A Scanner Darkly, tomorrow.  Today though we take a look back at how Hollywood has translated Dick’s different worlds onto screen over the years.  Enjoy…

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New on DVD

We’re here to let you know what’s out there for your entertainment dollar.  Every week a new batch of DVD’s gets shipped out and thrown onto the shelves.  This week we’ve got Pierce Brosnan as an assassin in Mexico, a Doctor who travels through time (if not space), more people finding meaning in dance lessons, a trio of beautiful detectives, and more.  Take a peek inside for the full list.

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Here’s what is getting released today on DVD:

Film:

The Matador – Pierce Brosnan shines as a hit man who is slowly losing his nerve (and mind) when he happens to cross paths with Greg Kinnear in a Mexican bar.  The DVD contains commentary tracks by writer/director Richard Shepard, and Brosnan and Kinnear, deleted and extended scenes, trailers and TV spots, and a featurette on the making of the film.  Check out our original reviews: you can read December’s review here, or mine here.

The Libertine – Lush but lackluster big budget production starring Jonny Depp as the master of debauchery, the Earl of Rochester.  Grainy, gritty, and pretty empty and unfulfilling.  The DVD includes commentary by director Laurence Dunmore, deleted scenes, and a featurette on the making of the film.

Marilyn Hotchkiss’ Ballroom Dancing & Charm School – Yet another dance movie where characters find meaning of their lives by learning to dance.  Robert Carlyle, Marisa Tomei, and John Goodman star.  The DVD includes commentary and a short 1990 film that was the basis for this feature.

Firecracker – The small independent film from last year deals with murder in the small Kansas town, an abusive family, new love, and a sideshow carnival.

Animated/Family:

The Legend of Prince Valiant – The Complete Series, Volume One – After losing his kingdom the Prince of Thule journeys to find the fabled Camelot and become a knight of King Arthur.  The set includes interviews with creators and Arthur historians, commentaries for two episodes by creators, writers, and artists, storyboards and slideshows, and DVD-Rom episode scripts.

TV:

Doctor Who – The Complete First Season – The return of the Doctor was a little disappointing.  True Christopher Eccleston is a good pick for the next incarnation of the role and Billie Piper works well as Rose, but was anyone else disappointed that the TARDIS never left the Earth, and could only get out of modern day London in a scant handful of episodes!?!  All 13 episodes are available here on five discs.  Extras include commentary on every episode by writers and producers, an interview with Eccleston, a video diary, storyboards, trailers, and a collection of featurettes on the the new series narrated by Simon Pegg.

Charlie’s Angels – The Complete Third Season – All 24 third season episodes of the gals (Kate Jackson, Cheryl Ladd, and Jaclyn Smith) and ol’ Bosley (David Doyle) solving crimes in sunny California.

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This Week

So what’s out there this week.  Well today we’ll take a look at the films scheduled to be released this Friday which include Richard Linklater’s take on the weird universe of Philip K Dick and Amy Sedaris and Stephen Colbert in the off-beat Strangers with Candy.  Oh yeah, and there’s this movie about pirates too…

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Here’s what’s scheduled to hit theaters this week.  Want to know more, just click on the title for film info including a full cast list.  Want a closer look, just click on the poster to watch the trailer.

A Scanner Darkly

Philip K Dick’s bizarre novel about an undercover cop (Keanu Reeves) who is hooked on the new drug called Substance D which causes hallucinations, split personalities, and a loss of connection to the concious world..  Richard Linklater directs and brings the world into focus using the same Rotoscope techniques (animating over the real time footage) he used in 2001’s Waking Life which just may be the best way to envision Dick’s world.  Robert Downey Jr, Woody Harrelson, and Winona Ryder.  Weird, odd, strange, and different; a must see for fans of both Linklater and Dick.  Check back on Friday for the review.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Johnny Depp, Keira Knightly, and Orlando Bloom and director Gore Verbinski return for the first of two sequels about pirates, love, curses, and Captain Jack Sparrow.  Depp takes center stage when Davy Jones (the one with the locker, not the “daydream believer”) comes a callin’ on Sparrow’s debt just as Turner and Swann are jailed for helping Cap’n Jack escape (on their wedding day no less!).  Madcap action and a special effects bonanza ensue, but the story is sadly lacking as the series seems to be treading water until next May.  Sadly it’s a much too long sequel that isn’t nearly as good as the first film; check back on Friday for the full review.

Strangers with Candy (limited)

The off-beat, short lived, Comedy Central television show about a 46 year-old ex-hooker, ex-drug addict (Amy Sedaris) who returns to high school, comes to the big screen.  Series creators Paul Dinello, Stephen Colbert, and Sedaris share in the writing credits for the film which should hold pretty true to the show’s original offensive pull no punches humor.  Colbert’s performance as the self-centered high school teacher has been getting high praise from critics.  There’s also an interesting cast of supporting performances from Philip Seymour Hoffman, Allison Janney, Matthew Broderick, and Sarah Jessica Parker as a randy grief conselor.

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