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Guilty Pleasure – Seventh Son

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  • Title: Seventh Son
  • IMDb: link

Seventh SonSadly in no way related to the (much better) first book in Orson Scott Card‘s The Tales of Alvin Maker, director Sergey Bodrov‘s Seventh Son bombed with critics and audiences alike. With a tired script, plenty of plot holes, and inconsistent special effects it’s impossible to call Seventh Son a good movie, but as a C-List guilty pleasure with a cast too good for its story the movie isn’t without some charm.

Based on The Wardstone Chronicles by Joseph Delaney, the movie stars Ben Barnes as the newest apprentice of monster hunter extraordinaire Master Gregory (Jeff Bridges) who only has a week to learn the craft before going to war with the hated enemies of Gregory’s all but extinct order.

Julianne Moore stars as the leader of a coven of witches who recently escaped the prison Gregory (who has a long history with the woman) put her in years before, and Alicia Vikander is a young witch and potential love interest for the young hero.

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Showgirls

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  • Title: Showgirls
  • IMDb: link

ShowgirlsLet’s get something straight, Showgirls is a terrible movie. You can argue director Paul Verhoeven and writer Joe Eszterhas‘s 1995 train wreck is a guilty pleasure or falls into the “so good it’s bad” category (neither of which I agree with), but you can’t convince me by any measurable standard that Showgirls could ever be considered a good film. Some argue it’s satire, which it is, but good satire has something to say about its subject while Showgirls only has something to show while expecting a generous tip in its g-string for the trouble.

Elizabeth Berkley stars as stripper Nomi Malone whose dream of becoming Las Vegas showgirl which becomes a reality after meeting the depraved star of the show (Gina Gershon) and her equally-lecherous boyfriend (Kyle MacLachlan). What follows is a poorly written, with equally bad acting, tale of backstage politics, sex, backstabbing, revenge, and a brutal gang rape scene between Nomi’s roommate (Gina Ravera) and a celebrity’s (William Shockley) posse.

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Ladyhawke

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  • Title: Ladyhawke
  • IMDb: link

LadyhawkeMy favorite Richard Donner film is neither Superman nor Lethal Weapon; it’s 1985’s Ladyhawke which starred a pre-Ferris Bueller Matthew Broderick as a thief named Gaston who becomes entangled in a tragic love story between the former Captain of the Guard Navarre (Rutger Hauer) and the beautiful Isabeau (Michelle Pfeiffer). With the help of a drunken priest (Leo McKern), Gaston will be charged with helping to break the curse laid on the two lovers by the jealous Bishop of Aquila (John Wood) which keeps them together but forever apart.

Set to an electronic score by Andrew Powell and the stunning cinematography of Oscar-winner Vittorio Storaro the medieval fairy tale about love, faith, hawks, wolves, dark magic, and a thief becoming a hero, remains one of the most unique films of its time. Pfeiffer has never looked better on film and she and Hauer sell the tortured nature of their existence while Broderick’s wisecracks provide just the right counterbalance to their tragic tale.

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Everly

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  • Title: Everly
  • IMDb: link

EverlyEverly is a gritty revenge drama that fails because it refuses to embrace how ridiculous its premise is while delivering hard-boiled action verging on torture porn which would have been far more palatable as a more straightforward shoot ’em up.

Salma Hayek stars in the title role as a sex slave who, after four years, has finally had enough and starts to fight back. Taking place entirely in the apartment where Everly has been kept for years, the body count continues to grow as the the woman with no hand-to-hand combat or weapons training coninues to kill the odd range of prostitutes and killers who show up to collect the bounty on her head.

Written by Yale Hannon and directed by Joe Lynch, the movie also includes a subplot involving Everly’s daughter (Aisha Ayamah) and mother (Laura Cepeda) whose safety is her primary concern now that the shit has hit the fan. Available on DVD and Blu-ray, extras include two separate commentary tracks and a music video. Notable only for Hayek’s involvement and its bizarre assortment of characters, Everly is a misfire that never finds its target.

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The Mentalist – The Complete Seventh Season

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  • Title: The Mentalist – Season 7
  • wiki: link

The Mentalist - The Complete Seventh SeasonWith Red John defeated, half of the cast having moved on to other projects, and consisting only 13 episodes collected on three discs, the final season of The Mentalist feels more like an epilogue than than a full season of the show. Along with the case of the week, the season will continue to deal with the now romantic relationship between Patrick Jane (Simon Baker) and Teresa Lisbon (Robin Tunney) culminating in the pair’s wedding in the series finale.

Emily Swallow doesn’t return but the series replaces her with Josie Loren as fresh-faced new Agent Michelle Vega who tragically won’t live to see the end of the season. Other highlights include Jane and Lisbon feeling out their relationship in the season premiere, Lisbon going undercover in jail, Lisbon temporarily taking on the role of fake psychic, and the much-anticipated return of Erica Flynn (Morena Baccarin). Extras include deleted scenes and a look back at Jane’s journey over the course of the series.

[Warner Home Video, $39.98]

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