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Blonde

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  • Title: Blonde
  • IMDb: link

Based on the fictional account of Marilyn Monroe‘s life by Joyce Carol Oates in the novel of the same name, Blonde makes Marilyn a victim of her own success and underdeveloped inner demons while giving us classic snapshots of her life in standard biopic fashion, although quite stylishly realized by director Andrew Dominik and cinematographer Chayse Irvin. It’s a gorgeous film to look at, but to make it through nearly three hours you may be forced to turn off the sound completely. The best way I can describe it is an impeccably produced lush and vibrant music video for one of the least interesting songs you’ve ever heard… except it goes on for 166 minutes.

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Do Revenge

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  • Title: Do Revenge
  • IMDb: link

Camila Mendes stars as a mean girl on scholarship at a private high school fueled by anger over her boyfriend (Austin Abrams) leaking a sex tape to the entire school, for which she, not he, takes all the heat. A chance meeting over the summer with a transferring student (Maya Hawke) whose old bully (Ava Capri) also attends the school leads to the unlikely pair teaming up to take out each other’s enemies.

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Morbius

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  • Title: Morbius
  • IMDb: link

Huh. Morbius doesn’t even get to be the out of control vampire in his own film. That’s certainly a choice. As with Blade: Trinity, Morbius has the distinction of being simultaneously bad across two genres. Jared Leto stars (a phrase one should always be leery of) as Dr. Michael Morbius obsessed with curing his blood disease, and that of his closest friend (Matt Smith), by using vampire bats. As batty, so to speak, as that sounds, Morbius’ experiments work and cure him of his debilitating disease but do leave him with a few unexpected side-effects.

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Shadow and Bone – The Complete First Season

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  • Title: Shadow and Bone – The Complete First Season
  • IMDb: link

Shadow and Bone feels every bit the adaptation of a young adult fantasy series.  In this case, not only was the first book of the series adapted but a separate storyline about local thieves was added as well leading to the disconnected storylines early in the eight-part season that didn’t quite gel until a few episodes into the season.

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Pinocchio

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  • Title: Pinocchio (2022)
  • IMDb: link

Beloved by fans and critics alike, although 1940’s Pinocchio may feel a be dated in spots there is nothing about the film that calls for a new version of the story (let alone three in one year – including one with Pauly Shore?!). However, Disney (in all its wisdom) has chosen Pinocchio for the latest “live-action” adaption of one of their classic animated films (featuring multiple CGI characters, of course). The results are a longer running time, an unnecessary backstory for Geppetto (Tom Hanks) that never leads anywhere, and far less magic.

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