Movie Reviews

G.I. JOE: Retaliation

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  • Title: G.I. JOE: Retaliation
  • IMDB: link

G.I. JOE: RetaliationFour years after the train wreck that was G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra, the sequel finally makes it to theaters after converting the movie to 3D and shooting additional scenes to cash-in on Channing Tatum‘s increased celebrity. G.I. JOE: Retaliation doesn’t prove to be worth the wait, but it’s certainly far better than the original.

For those of you unlucky enough to have witnessed the first film, you know that the terrorist organization known as Cobra had risen. Even if they had been defeated by the American special anti-terrorism force known as G.I. JOE, one of Cobra’s own, the master of disguise known as Zartan (Arnold Vosloo), had taken the place of the President of the United States (Jonathan Pryce).

G.I. JOE: Retaliation picks up some months later with President Zartan orchestrating the public disgrace and destruction of the JOEs while Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) and Firefly (Ray Stevenson) break Cobra Commander (now played by Luke Bracey) out of futuristic prison in an overly-elaborate plan.

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Spring Breakers

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  • Title: Spring Breakers
  • IMDB: link

Spring BreakersHarmony Korine is a divisive filmmaker whose themes and characters are often are far more complicated then they initially appear but whose detractors often point to his limitless self-indulgence and gleeful exploration of his young stars; you shouldn’t expect anything less from the writer/director’s latest, Spring Breakers.

Korine knew exactly what he was doing in casting three attractive young Disney and ABC Family actresses (Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson) to star along with his wife (Rachel Korine) in this tale of four thrill-seeking college students and their week of danger and debauchery over spring break.

The director is certainly exploiting each of the young women’s good-girl image to make the movie more titillating (which, despite the four young leads spending nearly the entire time in bikinis, it’s really not) while allowing each actress a chance to push outside the limits of kinds of roles they are usually known for.

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The Last Boy Scout is Under Siege after Olympus Has Fallen

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  • Title: Olympus Has Fallen
  • IMDB: link

Olympus Has FallenOlympus Has Fallen comes from a long line of dumb action flicks that are more concerned about high body counts and how many rounds of ammunition can be pumped into nameless causalities at high speeds than little things like plot, logic, and character. Twenty years ago this kind of film would have starred Bruce Willis or Steven Seagal. Not surprisingly, this dumb-as-dirt action flick comes from a pair of first-time screenwriters (Creighton Rothenberger, Katrin Benedikt) who pull from numerous similar films about a lone disgraced hero in over his head.

Gerard Butler stars as Secret Service Agent Mike Banning, the best of the best and a personal friend to the President of the United States (Aaron Eckhart) and his son (Finley Jacobsen). In the film’s opening sequence an unfortunate turn of events forces Banning to sacrifice the First Lady (Ashley Judd) in order to save the President’s life. Although Banning’s service is exemplary, and he performed his duty perfectly, he finds himself sitting at a desk at the U.S. Treasury for 18 months (which is when the story picks back up).

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The Croods

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  • Title: The Croods
  • IMDB: link

the-croods-posterIf you follow show business, you’ve probably heard that DreamWorks Animation isn’t doing too hot. Ever since they mercifully let their not-so-jolly green giant retire, they’ve struggled to find any other banner property to prop their studio on. And last year’s Rise of the Guardians was especially disappointing at the box office. To make things worse, Jeffrey Katzenberg’s studio laid off hundreds and had to break off from long-time distributor Paramount Pictures.

All of this culminates with The Croods, which DreamWorks desperately needs to be a hit to avoid slipping further into uncertainty. But The Croods is somewhat of a mixed bag. If the studio was going for a Hail Mary they failed, but it’s still a passable family film that should go down as a safe play.

The Croods is the prehistoric tale of a family of Neanderthals that have survived in a scant desert the only way they know how: by hiding in the dark almost constantly. Eldest child Eep (voiced by Emma Stone) is a teenager trying to escape the protective hold her father (Nicholas Cage! As a stupid caveman!) has held his family under to keep them from being eaten by something.

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The Incredible Burt Wonderstone and the Brain Rapist

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  • Title: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
  • IMDB: link

The Incredible Burt WonderstoneThe Incredible Burt Wonderstone is an odd film about the change in magic from old school tricks and illusion to elaborate and dangerous stunts of endurance during the 1990’s, and the petty jealousies that go on behind the curtain, that feels at least a decade late. Written by Jonathan M. Goldstein and John Francis Daley (who gave us the equally uneven Horrible Bosses) the script is inconsistent, especially during the movie’s third act, but it delivers a surprising number of laughs when it embraces the sheer absurdity of its premise and characters with a gleeful zeal.

The film stars Steve Carell and Steve Buscemi as a pair of old school Las Vegas magicians Burt Wonderstone and Anton Marvelton (think Siegfried & Roy without the tigers) whose act and decades of friendship have seen better days. The pair’s partnership comes to an end when popular new street magician Steve Gray (Jim Carrey as a mix of David Blaine and Criss Angel) forces the pair into uncharted territory doing dangerous stunts that leave Anton severely injured and Burt out on the street looking for a new job.

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