Movie Reviews

Snow White, Thor, and the Land of Meh

  • Title: Snow White and the Huntsman
  • IMDB: link

snow-white-and-the-huntsman-posterThe fairy tale of Snow White has been adapted to film and television several times over the years, most notably in Disney’s first animated feature Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Snow White and the Huntsman marks the second time the story has hit the big screen this year alone (Mirror Mirror opened in theaters two months ago). Sure it may be better than Amanda Bynes‘ recent take on the character, but the latest version from director Rupert Sanders is a lavish affair that unfolds without an adequate supply of heart.

Our story opens with the birth of a young princess and the death of a Queen (Liberty Ross). The realm’s grief-stricken King (Noah Huntley) finds himself bewitched by the obviously evil Ravenna (Charlize Theron) who kills her husband on their wedding night and assumes the throne. Years later the princess, Snow White (Kristen Stewart), kept under lock and key for a decade, manages to escape the castle and begin a journey to free the realm from the witch’s power.

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Men in Black III

  • Title: Men in Black III
  • IMDB: link

men-in-black-3-posterWell that was… in 3D. I wonder how many film series will find themselves resurrected for the soul purpose of cashing-in on Hollywood’s latest love affair with 3D. If Men in Black III is any indication (a franchise that died a decade ago only to have it’s undead corpse dug up and trotted out to make a few dollars at the box office) perhaps movie studios may want to be a little more selective in choosing which movie series to resurrect.

Men in Black III isn’t a bad film. It has some enjoyable moments (like Bill Hader‘s cameo as Andy Warhol) and some nice performances. Hell, Josh Brolin playing a younger version of Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones‘s character) is almost worth the price of admission by itself. Almost.

However, the story is stuck in neutral with a generic time travel adventure involving a grizzled alien (Jemaine Clement) out for revenge. Much like Tommy Lee Jones (who only appears on-screen in a limited role this time around), the film simply feels tired and only vaguely aware of what’s going on.

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(They Sunk My) Battleship

  • Title: Battleship
  • IMDB: link

battleship-posterI don’t know the history behind how this movie based on a Hasbro board game got made, but I have an idea. I’m pretty sure director Peter Berg must have found himself at a Hollywood party where the alcohol was flowing freely and he stated emphatically that Michael Bay was a hack and anyone could make one of his movies. Battleship, I assume, was his attempt to prove this point.

Even for a movie based on a board game, Battleship is dumb. In fact it’s incredibly, inexcusably, mind-numbingly dumb. And for a film filled with explosions, big budget special effects, and alien attacks, the film is neither all that exciting nor enjoyable.

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Gothic Melodrama

  • Title: Dark Shadows
  • IMDB: link

dark-shadows-posterLike most of director Tim Burton‘s work Dark Shadows, a humorous hyper-melodramatic update of the 1960’s television show of the same name, gives us an offbeat sense of humor and the macabre, Johnny Depp, and a big-eyed, pale-skinned, waifish young leading lady. Dark Shadows certainly isn’t going to rank among the director’s biggest successes (Sweeney Todd, Ed Wood, Edward Scissorhands), but for most of it’s running time it finds a way to entertain by showcasing a tale of an 18th Century vampire thrust into the 1970’s.

200 years after being buried alive by the witch (Eva Green) who cursed him and left him to rot, Barnabas Collins (Depp) is freed from his coffin by a group of construction workers making way for a McDonald’s. Confused by the nature of the new world, Barnabas makes his way to his ancestral home where he meets his descendants Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer), Roger (Jonny Lee Miller), Carolyn (Chloë Grace Moretz) and David (Gulliver McGrath).

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The Avengers

  • Title: The Avengers
  • IMDB: link

the-avengers-posterWell done Joss Whedon. Ensemble casts aren’t always the easiest to deal with, especially when you’ve got stars of several franchises who all need to be showcased. Not only does the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer succeed in giving each hero their own moment to shine, but he crafts what is inarguably one of the best super-hero movies of all-time. I don’t know if The Avengers is going to be the best movie of the summer, but if it’s not I can’t wait to see what could possibly top it.

One thing Whedon and the numerous special effects experts used on the film get just right is scale. From the first time we see the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier to the film’s final battle (which can only be described as epic) the size and breadth of it are awe-inspiring. I viewed the film in IMAX 3D, and while I think a regular screening will still be quite good, the IMAX certainly helped sell the larger-than-life aspects of the script (which Buffy fans should be glad to hear is peppered with classic Whedon one-liners and humorous asides).

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