by December Lambeth on September 26, 2008

in Movie Reviews 

  • Title: Choke
  • IMDB: link

“You Touched My Woo Woo!”

If you have a sensitive gag reflex then Choke is not the film for you there are plenty of scenes that will make you gasp, feel your tongue swell and the bile rise.  Throughout the story there is never a redeeming quality about any one single character and ultimately they are all pathetic and desperate, but this merely adds to the humor.

Victor (Sam Rockwell) is a med school drop out, a sex addict, a sleaze ball and a very confused clone of Jesus….of who? That’s right; Vic’s mom Ida (Anjelica Huston) was part of a top-secret experiment in Rome, when 5 women were impregnated with the genetic material from the Holy Vessels foreskin. And if you believe that, then I’ve got another story to sell you about a hairy beast that lives in the woods with a big foot.

Seriously part of the story runs a muck when Ida tells her lawyer, aka son Victor that she’s been keeping a secret all these years and must tell Victor who his real dad is before she’s moved up to the 3rd floor, the floor for the dead.

Victor finds his mothers new doc Paige Marshall (Kelly Macdonald) very hot and ultimately unfuckable, because he’s trying to like her. However he does roam through the hospital seeing every other nurse, doctor and administrator naked in compromising positions, simply because he’s had them all naked and in compromising positions.

Victor and his best friend and sudo ex-chronic masturbator Denny (Brad William Henke) work at day as colonial reactors and at night they eat out at fancy restaurants so Victor can pretend to choke on his food and be rescued by the rich and dumb. In his experience the act of saving someone’s life involves getting cash from the rescuer afterwards and this keeps is mother Ida in the pricey mental hospital.

Victor is so pathetic that he cruses is Sex AA group to get laid, while Denny and the rest are setting out holding hands in a semi-circle and trying to change their lives, Victor is in the bathroom screwing Nico (Paz de la Huerta) in every lurid form possible, toys not excluded. He even goes after the women at the ole’ colonial reenactment camp and gets caught with his dick in the wrong set of hands.

Recruiting Denny’s help and some assistance from Ida’s doctor, Victor discovers the truth about his origins, his feelings for Dr. Paige and a way to curve his disgusting ways.

Choke is seriously a vile film without any redeeming qualities, but if you can’t get a laugh out of it then you must be dead. There are so many squeamish scenes from a mishap with some anal beads in a bathroom to an interrogation gone wrong, this film will keep you squirming in your seat the whole time and pretty much feeling really sad for the characters on the screen.

Choke is the worse, but best film I’ve seen in awhile. Worse being how completely uncomfortable I felt setting in a room dominated by male film critics watching odd sex on the big screen, but the best because of how completely uncomfortable I felt setting in a room dominated by male film critics watching odd sex on the big screen. If Choke was meant to garner some type of emotion more over to entertain, then job well done.

I think Choke sucks as a movie, but rocks as a reaction trigger.

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