Fortune Cookie Warrior

  • Title: Peaceful Warrior
  • IMDb: link

Peaceful Warrior

The film has a nice message that may resonate with those of a religious persuasion (though there is no actual religion in the film) or those that love to buy self-help books.  The message, however, is so poorly presented that it’s impossible to take seriously when all were given is a series of simplistic sentences, which would be more at home inside a fortune cookie, attempting to sound more meaningful than they are.

Dan Millman (Scott Mechlowicz) is a god among men.  The collegiate gymnast rules his world coasting through classes, being treated like a rock star, and bedding a different willing lady every night.  But he’s not happy.  One late night Dan stops at a local gas station and meets a strange old man (Nick Nolte) who begins to open his mind to the philosophy of the peaceful warrior. 

After Dan is injured in a motorcycle accident this odd man he’s named Socrates, we never discover his real identity, helps heal his spirit and put him back on the path to go after what he wants.

I have to stop for a moment and share some questions with you.  Do you know a college where gymnasts are the biggest studs on campus (and the only athletes)?  Why does no one go to class, open (or even carry) a textbook over the course of the film?  If all that is injured is Dan’s leg, and his sport only uses his upper body muscles, why is everyone so willing to give up on him?  Just who, or what, is Socrates anyway?  The film has no answers for these questions.

We get the obligatory mentor/student disagreements as well as montages (at least five of them) of Dan training, both as warrior and gymnast.  The obligatory love interest (Amy Smart) who cares for Dan as a person, not just because he’s big man on campus is, of course, present as well.

There are a few “borrowed” scenes you’ll probably recognize.  Dan faces the evil half of himself in what I assume was a dream (see Superman III).  In truth I’m not sure even the filmmakers themselves knew which scenes were real and what were illusions, and with so many of them you can be sure you won’t either.  In another scene Socrates teaches Dan by having him clean toilets and scrub floors – leading to a lesson (see The Karate Kid).  Thanks Mr. Miyagi.

Now let me get to my major complaint with the film.  The “philosophy” of Socrates is cobbled together from Obi-One Kenobi and Yoda, the aforementioned Mr. Miyagi, self-help books, and fortune cookie wisdom.  In many places you’ll find yourself either groaning or struggling not to laugh at such unintentionally funny moments.  Here’s the wisdom of the film boiled down for you:

“The journey is its own reward”
“Be mindful of your surroundings” (my young padawan)
“You must unlearn what you have learned”
“You will understand when you are passive, at peace”
“Wax on, wax off”
“Everything is connected” (trough the Force perhaps?)
“Do or do not, there is no try”
“Clear your mind”

I’m not saying those are bad slogans, or that the messages in them might not hold some truth.  We’ve actually seen this work in much better films (like the ones they were stolen from).  But the way they are presented – by a wise Nick Nolte, who is all dolled up to look like Santa Claus on the Atkins diet – just doesn’t work on film.  It’s hard to take anything seriously when you are busy trying not to snicker and groan.  You might also notice the none-too-subtle crucified Jesus pose Dan keeps finding himself in while practicing on the rings.

One last technical note.  The film seemed cheaply made, was often dark and hard to make out details, and appeared stretched too far on the screen losing some of its clarity.  It’s possible these were problems with the projection I saw and that cleaner and brighter prints are available.  Those technical faults, added to my other issues with the film, didn’t help my opinion of the experience.  However, even a flawless print or digital projection would do little to improve my opinion of the film.

The film was made from Dan Millman‘s book about his, I’m assuming widely exaggerated, real life experiences.  Maybe Millman did meet a ghostly angel who taught him wondrous things and could fill his mind with visions.  Maybe the simplistic self-help slogans work better in print than on film.  I’m sure fans of Millman’s will be angry and attack me for not understanding his philosophy, but they would be wrong.  It’s not that I don’t understand it (hell, it’s so simple a four year-old could understand it, much less a college athlete who should already know how to clear his mind during his routines), it’s that I prefer real philosophy rather than cookie cutter self-help versions like this.

The film just doesn’t work.  There’s too many laugh out loud moments that should be inspiring or at least dramatic – like the “awe” shown on Millman’s coaches and friends when he performs in the moment (rather than hiring a good gymast to do the routine).  There was a much better film about gymnastics that came out earlier this year called Stick It (available on DVD September 19th) that I’d advise you to watch instead.  Let me leave you with a short fortune.  “Happiness will come from seeing a different film.”