X-Men: The Very Last Stand…We Hope

by December Lambeth on May 26, 2006

in Movie Reviews 

X3 has critics and audiences dancing 50/50; some love it and others hate it. True comic book geeks will be very very sad; the characters are hodge podged and mixed up with poor make-up, hair and costumes. Director Brett Ratner certainly screwed up this famous marvel line and the massive egos from the talent finished out any characters that we have grown to love and set on the edge of our seats to see on the big screen. On the other hand, if you want a fluffy semi-action filled popcorn flick with mutants, then X3 will completely please.

X-Men: The Last Stand
Custom Rating

I’m sure you are asking yourself, “what is this raving critic going on about?” Let me explain, I could easily list the many things gone wrong here. Character backgrounds and purpose to the storyline is completely left out; most of the time you will be at a total loss for why, who or when a character came about, and they come and go so quickly. Somebody should have fired the hairdresser right out of the gates, Wolverine’s hair was flat and messy and Jeans was just plain bad. Focusing on Storm and her powers and leaving out all the rest, come on Halle give us a break, it’s not called X-Men: All About Storm. Wolverine started out light hearted, then turned into love crazed and ended up psycho killer with a touch of Van Helsing; dicing up Magneto’s teenage post-neo-goth army, must have been one hell of a workout for him. There are times where characters completely disappear for segments of the film or for good, but nobody’s worried about where they went or if they are ever coming back. X3 is full of technical, character and casting errors and blunders, I could literally go on and on, but I’ll save you the painful read.

It starts 20 years prior and introduces Dr. Jean Grey’s history with The Professor and Magneto and then jumps forward 10 years more and introduces Angel and his father, with one more jump we are in a battle zone between Wolverine, Storm and a group of mutants, from the school, and a very large robot. Don’t worry, no damage is done, it’s just a training exercise. Scotts crying in his glasses and hearing Jean’s voice and The Professor is merely teaching a class. Suddenly news flashes and there is a cure for all mutants, Angel’s father has come up with a cure for his son. Angel doesn’t want the cure, does his Victoria Secret’s Super Model pose and flies out the window. Magneto is doing his usual save the mutant world by killing and destroying; he starts a small army of teenagers who have minimal powers to stop the government from forcing this cure on mutants and stop mutants from volunteering for it. Wolverine, Storm, The Beast, Kitty and Iceman head off Magneto and saves the world. That pretty well sums up the whole story.

Mutants die, innocent people die, others get to live, important characters come and go, The Golden Gate Bridge gets moved (cause a boat would have been just too easy), cars are blown up, mutants become human and if you wait past the credits there is a big secret hiding there. No, X3 doesn’t compare to any of the past X-Men films and comic book lovers will most diffidently be disappointed, but the general audience and a special age group between 10 and 19 will possibly adore it. It’s popcorn fluff through and through.

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