There’s not another genre out there that’s as tailor-made by Studio Execs than the teenage comedy.  This might explain why they’re all the same: teenager sets out on a journey for sex, gets screwed a few times along the way (although not in the way that they hoping for) and finally realize that they should just had sex with their best friend.  In this respect of plot, John Tucker Must Die is a nothing more than a really, and I mean really does attempt to break the mold; but everything else in the movie from its clichéd and stereotyped characters and an ending that you won’t care about exposes its true nature: John Tucker Must Die is just another teenage comedy.

John Tucker Must Die
2 Stars

It just came to me when I was sitting in the theatre.  Our main character was having a heart-to-heart with her mother about boys, and I was enlightened as if it were a fact taught to me in U.S. History.  John Tucker Must Die is a nothing more than a really, and I mean really mediocre movie.  It’s not bad—in fact it can be down-right charming half the time.  But the rest of the running time lacks anything that wants to make you stake out your seat until it all fades to black.

Nobody likes being cheated on; not even when the cutest boy, like, ever is the one cheating on you.  So the obvious way to get back is to try to embarrass him in front of, like, the entire school.

John Tucker Must Die chronicles this exact story, where the cutest boy in the 12th grade is film namesake John Tucker (Jesse Metcalfe,) and his victims are the first ladies of their High School cliques- the lead Cheerleader, the new-age vegan and the smarty-pants that’s in every extra-curricular activity.  John, God bless him, somehow managed to date all three of them at the same time; but after the girls find out and get the ol’ heave-ho from their newly-appointed Ex, they decide that he needs a dose of his own medicine.

So they hatch a plot to make John fall head over heels for social nobody Kate (Brittany Snow,) who has a fair share of doubt in the concept of love.  Nothing else happens down the road that you can’t see happening—life lessons are learned and BFFs are made around every corner.

The film’s title promised what could have been an entertaining, black teenage comedy.  Think about it, had the girls taken no mercy as the movie’s name suggests, it would have boosted the film’s value to anyone who doesn’t think the best movies ever are Mean Girls or The Notebook.  They could have gone a lot further, and the idea of extreme revenge in a High School setting has potential, but the script just doesn’t take it there.

The film’s weakest spot is the character of John Tucker himself.  Metcalfe does as decent of a job as is required for the genre, but we never get a very solid idea of who he is—a hotshot asshole in it for the ass or a sensitive boy that hides in his perfect physique and charm.  He keeps switching masks depending on who’s opposite him in the scene, and we never get a final idea of what he is.  This writer would have prefered it if he were a jerk-extroardinaire that was easier to hate than a guy who drowns puppies, but we can’t all get what we want.

But John Tucker Must Die is a movie about young love, and the filmmakers don’t botch the charm of Snow’s character or the sometimes successful humor.  The genre is a weak spot, it makes sub-par stories fun just because everyone in the movie is having it.

John Tucker Must Die is just another teenage comedy.  It won’t knock the pants off of you, and you really shouldn’t go see it.  But if you somehow surf onto a channel showing it in the next few years on TV, it’d probably hold your attention.  Like, I guess.

Well, I guess Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back wasn’t the last View Askew picture after all.  Smith returns to the characters that began his career and launched him as a independent film golden boy / lewd Star Wars obsessed fan.  What can I say about Clerks II?  Well, at least for this film, Kevin Smith is back!

Clerks II
Custom Rating

Kevin Smith seems intent on recapturing the spirit of the original Clerks with this sequel.  It’s a dirty little film that will make you laugh your ass off.  The film succeeds in most aspects, though at times Smith seems over ambitious to push through jokes, that if he had a little more patience and trust in the material, he’d understand it’s not necessary to try so hard for every laugh.  Even with such issues, the most surprising thing about Clerks II is how its heart seems to always be in the right place (even during a donkey show).

The film begins with the fiery destruction of The Quick Stop and then jumps ahead in time to find Dante (Brian O’Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson) working at the fast food franchise Mooby’s.  Things haven’t changed much for Randal who continues to do as little work as possible while spouting off his unique philosophy.  He also likes to torture his co-worker Elias (Trevor Fehrman), a sheltered and more than a little naive teenager who loves nothing more than Transformers and The Lord of the Rings.

Dante meanwhile has a fiance (Jennifer Scwalbach Smith) and plans on moving down to Florida.  His life seems to be taking shape, but there are a few complications.  As much as he seems ready to leave New Jersey behind, he has to address his feelings for his boss Becky (Rosario Dawson) and the end of his life long friendship with Randal.

Kevin Smith’s latest flick is lewd, disgusting, and very funny.  It’s also a very personal and emotional film about friendship and love. 

The film examines how people change over time, but how they also stay the same.  It won’t be easy for some people to make it through the amount of crude humor that happens over the course of the film, but if you can, the point of the film is rather sweet.

The make-up of the film, much like Clerks, involves debate on pop culture (including a terrific scene about Star Wars versus tLOR), sex (including a donkey show, the prospect of ass-to-mouth, and the discussion of a troll named Pillow Pants), and the use of language (including a laugh out loud scene with Wanda Sykes about a racial slur).

The only problem with the film is Smith seems to be trying a bit too hard at times to get the joke across.  The lead up to the donkey show works so well (as does the politically correct term used to describe it which reminded me strongly of a George Carlin joke about how political correctness can distort language to the point where anything is acceptable).  But we don’t need to actually see the donkey show on film, we already got the joke.  There are a couple places where the script literally beats a joke to death in this manner.

Many of Smith’s old friends show up in cameo appearances including Jason Lee, Ben Affleck, Ethan Suplee, Walt Flanagan, and of course Smith and Jason Mewes return as Jay and Silent Bob, who after the destruction of The Quick Stop, tag along to Mooby’s as well.

I’m glad to see Smith re-embrace his early style of film making and return to crafting films that will make you laugh, feel a little ashamed, but also make you think about relationships and life.  O’Halloran and Anderson seem to fit so naturally into these roles, Jason Mewes has come a long way since the first film, and the newcomers added seem to understand Smith’s style and fit seemlessly as new additoins to the View Askew Universe.  It’s Rosario Dawson who steals the film, and is fast becoming one of my favorite actresses working today.  She’s one to keep your eye on.