I’m sure there are people that are going to love this film; I’m not one of them.  Even the strong pefromances from the two leads can’t quite save The Constant Gardener from being both boring and predictable – two words you don’t want to describe a dramatic thriller.

The Constant Gardener
2 Stars

Some novels can be adapted to screen successfully and some cannot.  The Constant Gardener belongs in the second category.  The structure for the movie might work in a novel but here the story just gets bogged down.  The film is oddly spliced together with flashbacks in an attempt to try and make the obvious seem murky and mysterious.  Too bad the end result just makes it look lame.  It’s sad such great leading performances were wasted on such a bad script.

The film begins with the discovery of the body of Tessa Quayle (Rachel Weisz) who has been brutally murdered in the Kenyan countryside.  From there the film moves through flashbacks of Tessa’s life mixed with her husband Justin’s (Ralph Fiennes) attempt to discover why she was killed and what became of her companion Arnold (Hubert Kounde) who has disappeared.  Unwilling to accept the official explanation of Tessa’s death being a result of an affair between Tessa and Arnold who must have killed her in a passionate rage, Justin decides to conduct his own investigation and learns that Tessa’s death wasn’t caused by anything so simple.

Let’s start out with the perfromances which are outstanding.  Fiennes is well chosen for the bitter and remorseful character who will stop at nothing to discover the truth.  Weisz who we only see in flashbacks though is the real heart of the film.  Her character is the only one from the film that is complex and three dimensional and whose feelings and actions have consequences not just to herself but to her husband and the world around her.

Aside from the acting the films problems are numerous.  First off the flashbacks reveal too much of Tessa’s character for the audience not to realize what she really died for and the cause itself can be easily deduced very early in the film.  Second the scenes involving the meeting of the two seem to suggest a relationship of convience which would hardly justify Justin’s odyssey later in the film.  Third the scenes of Tessa’s possible infedelities don’t work because the relationship with Justin isn’t developed far enough and the film is too cavalier in giving away more information than is necessary.  And finally the choice in editing makes the film too helter skielter.  It was obviously chosen to try and hide the extremely simple answer to the “mystery” of Tessa’s death, but not only does it not succeed in covering the truth it only detaches the viewer from the film.

The movie was adapted from the novel by John le Carre and I don’t doubt that the story might make a very good novel where such information and clues can be spaced out over chapters.  In a compacted theatrical version the mystery just doesn’t work.  If Justin knew anything about his wife he would be easily able to deduce what happened to her, but the film tries to make Justin totally oblivious to who his wife was and what she was up to.  The result becomes a series of flashbacks between the two where we learn everything about Tessa while Justin stands there totally oblivous.  If he’s really that dense, how’s he suppossed to solve her murder?

The film just doesn’t work as a thriller because the structure continually takes the viewer out of the story.  The film doesn’t work as a mystery because the reasons for the death can easily be deduced just by learning a fraction of who Tessa was.  The drama doesn’t work because neither the love story nor Tessa’s murder seem enough to push the action of the film that develops into a weak Bourne Identity as Justin becomes an expert on covert tatics, surveillance, and digging for the truth (none of which are needed for this very simple plot).  The film tries every trick it can using red herrings, odd editing, and plot contivances to hide what is essentially rather obvious.

I feel so dirty for laughing at such a perverse and morally wrong joke. There has been and will be nothing that will ever top this completely disgusting nasty 86-minute laugh off. This film tests every ounce of moral standing you may have in you. The Aristocrats pushes the envelope of dirty gross out humor and makes you want more more more, it is one filthy joke that never ends

The Aristocrats
4 Stars

I feel so dirty for laughing at such a perverse and morally wrong joke. There has been and will be nothing that will ever top this completely disgusting nasty 86-minute laugh off. This film tests every ounce of moral standing you may have in you. The Aristocrats pushes the envelope of dirty gross out humor and makes you want more more more, it is one filthy joke that never ends.

The Aristocrats documents an inside joke that has been passed down from comedian to comedian through out history, like a treasured secret. It starts the same way, “A man walks into a talent agent’s office with his family and says, have I got an act for you and the agent replies, so what do you do?” From that point on it is complete improvisation, usually soaked in shit, pee, incest, vomit, blood and any other possibly horrid thing you could imagine. Each comedian spoon-feeds his or her version of the joke and with each ending it gets funnier and funnier.

The finale, the end of the joke is the agent asking, “So what’s the name of your act?” and the comedian says, “The Aristocrats”. This film is not for the week of heart and if you have a timid demeanor then stay far away, but if you know how to take a joke, GO SEE IT, GO SEE IT NOW!

Be sure to pay close attention to a few outstanding performances by Bob Saget, Gilbert Gottfried, and Sarah Silverman.

Director Terry Gilliam (Time Bandits, Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, & The Fisher King) has lost his touch after 7 years. Fans will be amused, but a bit disappointed. Given, The Brothers Grimm, is quite eye catching and has some since of humor accompanied with some very very dark moments. When I say dark moments I mean, a little fluffy kitten in a meat grinder and the skinning of a rabbit in detail, all done with a twisted amount of humor of course. But Terry doesn’t give enough, maybe it has to do with being frustrated with corporate meddling and not having the freedom to really express himself.

The Brothers Grimm
1 & 1/2 Stars

Director Terry Gilliam (Time Bandits, Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, & The Fisher King) has lost his touch after 7 years. Fans will be amused, but a bit disappointed. Given, The Brothers Grimm, is quite eye catching and has some since of humor accompanied with some very very dark moments. When I say dark moments I mean, a little fluffy kitten in a meat grinder and the skinning of a rabbit in detail, all done with a twisted amount of humor of course. But Terry doesn’t give enough, maybe it has to do with being frustrated with corporate meddling and not having the freedom to really express himself.

Set in early 18th century French occupied Germany, The Brothers Grimm follows the tale of 2 hoaxer brothers who go from town to town peddling their ghostbusting talents. Will Grimm (Matt Damon) and Jake Grimm (Heath Ledger) find themselves busted red handed by General Delatombe (Jonathan Pryce) and forced to solve a town’s missing children problem. The General believes that 2 conmen like the brothers are wreaking havoc on the tiny village of Marbaden and threatens Will and Jake’s life to bring this hoax to a stop. Accompanied by the General’s second in command, crazy Cavaldi (Peter Stormare) and enlisting the help of a very beautiful local peasant girl, Angelika (Lena Headey), they head into the enchanted forest. Not finding any pulleys or springboards, the brothers start to question how this is a con and start to believe that the forest has been cursed. Running for safety only to be forced back into the evil place by General Delatombe and his guards to find Little Red Riding Hood and Gretal, plus ten other girls who had been kidnapped, all used to remove the curse of the evil Mirror Queen (Monica Bellucci).

As the story takes shape, Jake spends his time jotting down notes and parts of the story always kept in check by his lady killer brother Will. Will is consistently reminding Jake that their is no such thing as magic beans and to keep his feet on the ground and his head out of the clouds. Jake has the opportunity at the end to prove to his overbearing unbelieving brother that fairy tales can end happily ever after and all it takes is one kiss from true love.

The Brothers Grimm has a set that compares closely to Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow, but has some very poor CGI moments. Luckily the film’s saving grace are the 2 main characters, except for their inability to keep up with their accents, Matt & Heath play off each other brilliantly. It’s sad to say that Terry Gilliam has grown a little soft over the years; I would have loved to see a little Monty Python flair. Overall it’s a fun watch and if you go in with low expectations or none at all The Brothers Grimm will work for you too.