1 Razor

Fool Me Twice, Shame On Me

  • Title: The Ice Harvest
  • IMDb: link

Pushing Tin was released in 1999.  It was a semi-dark comedy with Cusack and Thornton as air traffic controllers that missed the mark badly and crashed right into the control tower well before it’s scheduled landing.  It seems history was doomed to repeat itself as the two have re-teamed up to give us the drab and rather ordinary The Ice Harvest.  Maybe these guys should just stay out of each other’s careers for their own sakes and ours.

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Schlepgirl

  • Title: Shopgirl
  • IMDb: link

ShopgirlSteve Martin’s novella might be a wonderful story but you’d have a hard time convincing anyone of that after they see this pretentious and emotionless thud of a movie.  This movie is a mess of bad direction, odd editing, and both over the top and totally unemotional acting.  One of the biggest disappointments of the year.

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Fantastic Flop

  • Title: Fantastic Four
  • IMDB: link

Sometimes you go to movies with low expectations and are pleasantly surprised because the movie is better than you expected.  This is not that film.  I walked out of Fantastic Four with a strange sense of bewilderment that no one tried to stop this train wreck from being shown.  Didn’t anyone on set see how bad this was?  Did no one at the studio level watch dailies, or by watching them did they see their careers end and decided they’d rather jump off the top of Fox headquarters than bring this up with the brass? 

I would have thought someone at Marvel or 20th Century Fox would have had the good sense to burn every last reel of this turkey.  Even if you had to burn the entire building to the ground, it would still be a better solution than unleashing this thing on an unsuspecting public.  It is almost impossible to describe how bad this film is, but I have a mission to make sure as few people’s lives are ruined as possible by witnessing this atrocity firsthand, so I will do my best.

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