2.5 Razors

Nim’s Island

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Nim’s Island
  • IMDB: link

“Be the hero of your own life story.”
 

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Abigail Breslin stars as Nim, a headstrong young girl with a good heart who lives on a deserted island with her reclusive scientist of a father (Gerard Butler).  When her father is delayed on an expedition Nim asks for help from the most logical source – the hero of her favorite novels Alex Rover (also played by Gerard Butler).

Nim’s cries for help do not reach Alex Rover adventurer, but Alexandria Rover (Jodie Foster) author.  Alexandria suffers from acute agorophobia, motion sickness, and a host of other issues which makes it impossible for her to help Nim, but she can’t turn the child down.  And so with her make-believe hero in tow (also, quizzically, played by Butler) Alexandria begins a trip by boat, plane, and helicopter, to help.

Nim’s situation if further complicated by a cruise ship who decides to stop on the island and let its passengers enjoy the beach.  Unwilling to allow this encroachment into her home, Nim forms a plan with the help of her animal companions to turn away the invaders.

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Jog, Slightly Out of Shape Guy, Jog

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Run, Fatboy, Run
  • IMDB: link

“He runs marathons.”
“Why?”

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Um, isn’t he suppossed to be, you know, fat?

Dennis (Simon Pegg) is a loser.  He spends his days working as a mall security guard and his nights alone in his crappy basement apartment being scolded by his landlord Mr. Ghoshdashtidar (Harish Patel) and his buxom daughter (India de Beaufort).

It wasn’t always this way, however.  Dennis was once engaged to the beautiful and caring Libby (Thandie Newton), that is until he ran from their wedding leaving her pregnant and alone at the altar.

Years later Dennis, still not over Libby, faces her new boyfriend (Hank Azaria), a succcessful business man who seems both his ex and his son (Matthew Fenton) are starting to fall for.  To prove himself to Libby, Dennis signs-up for the charity marathon and attempt to beat Whit and win back his family.

The cast is pretty good across the board, and that’s a good thing because the writing leaves something to be desired.  Still, you really have to wonder about casting Simon Pegg, who is not fat, in the title role here.  I guess the title “Run, Jerkface, Run” didn’t have the same ring to it.

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D.C. Cab

/ / Home Video
  • Title: D.C. Cab
  • IMDB: link

2008 marks the 25th Anniversary of that cinematic gem D.C. Cab.  To celebrate this milestone we take a look back at the film which gave us the following philosophy:

“Don’t let your dick run your life.”

“You have faith in God.  You have faith in your country.  You do not have faith in The Eight Stooges!”

“Why are women so uptight?  They’ve got half the money and all the pussy.”

After the death of his father, young Albert Hockenberry (Adam Baldwin) moves to Washington D.C. to stay with his dad’s Vietnam buddy (Max Gail) who owns his own cab company.

Albert decides he likes the life, despite the odd characters (Mr. T, Gary Busey, Bill Maher, Marsha Warfield, the Barbarian Brothers, Charlie Barnett, Paul Rodriguez) who work there, and decides he wants to be a cab driver.  Things get complicated when Albert falls in love with a girl he can’t have (Jill Schoelen) and a kidnapping he gets mixed-up in, but everything works out fine in the end.

Let’s get this straight.  D.C. Cab is not a good movie by any rational standard.  It is however an immensely enjoyable trainwreck.  Where else are you going to find a movie where Gary Busey fits in so naturally?  Or where Mr. T pimps out a taxi-cab?  The inmates have control of the asylum from the get-go here, and turns out they know how to have a pretty good time.

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Semi-Pro

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Semi-Pro
  • IMDB: link

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I’m not a huge Will Ferrell fan.  I usually prefer my Ferrell in small SNL skits or films which aren’t built entirely around him acting as silly as possible (check out my review for Stranger Than Fiction).  There are exceptions to this rule however as I though Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy was a very strong comedy.  Semi-Pro, to me, isn’t as good a film, but for those who enjoyed Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and/or Blades of Glory this one should be right up your alley (oh wait, that’s bowling).

The movie centers around the Flint, Michigan Tropics, a struggling ABA team and their owner/player/coach Jackie Moon (Will Ferrell).  Moon is hit with the news that the ABA is disbanding and only four teams will make the transition to the NBA.  Trading the team’s washing machine for a washed-up point guard (Woody Harrelson), Jackie tries to will his team into fourth place, and into the NBA, before the end of the season.

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The Other Boleyn Girl

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: The Other Boleyn Girl
  • IMDB: link

“Our daughters are being traded like cattle for the advancement of men.”

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The story centers around the two Boleyn girls.  The older, more conniving Anne (Natalie Portman) and the sweeter, though simpler, Mary (Scarlett Johansson), are thrust into a world of societal intrigue and deception for which neither is prepared.

The bond between the sisters is put to the test when their father (Mark Rylance) and uncle (David Morrissey) ask Anne to attempt to seduce King Henry VIII (Eric Bana) and become his new mistress, only to discover he prefers the attentions of the other Boleyn girl – Mary.

What follows are schemes upon schemes, plotting, lies and deceptions which will leave England a far different country, and the Boleyn girls far worse for wear.

The story was adapted by Peter Morgan (The Queen) from the historical novel by Philippa Gregory.  Although the novel became a best seller, the film always seems to be grasping for what made the story work on the printed page.

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