2.5 Razors

Nakey, Nakey

  • Title: Shortbus
  • IMDB: link

ShortbusSex is a compelling subject in film, books, and television.  In discussing, and showing, sex you know you’ve got the audiences attention.  Shortbus knows how to grab us early, but soon fails to perform to expectations as it blows it’s wad in the first eight minutes.

The film opens with a voyeuristic journey as the film, seemingly at random, looks through windows into the sexual lives of a select few of the millions in New York City.  The shock and strangeness of the situation immediately will make you take notice and, depending on your moral stance, possibly be appalled.

It’s the perfect choice to bring you into this world.  Sadly though, once here, writer/director John Cameron Mitchell has very little to say.

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Open Season

  • Title: Open Season
  • IMDb: link

Open SeasonBoog (Martin Lawrence) is a big domesticated Grizzly Bear who has been raised in captivity by a forest ranger (Debra Messing).  Boog’s life is perfect, all the food he can eat, a mother who loves him, entertaining youngsters with his trained act.  His life is paradise.

Then a dimwitted deer named Elliot (Ashton Kutcher) turns his whole world upside down, and Boog finds himself out in the woods only days before hunting season is to begin.  Boog and Elliot try to make it back to town, avoid the hunters – especially the villainous Shaw (Gary Sinese) who has it in for the pair – and make it home in one piece.  Along the way they cause trouble, meet new friends and explore the woods.

There’s nothing too original here, the plot is pretty straightforward.  The film has a nice joke at the beginning as Shaw compares Beth to a Girl Scout.  Enjoy it; the next laugh will take about an hour to find you.  Many of the children in the screening I attended seemed bored, disinterested and only vaguely aware a film was showing.  Not a great endorsement.

It’s not that the film is bad; it’s just not more interesting than any animated show you’d find playing on your television.  The supporting cast includes Billy Connolly, Jon Favreau, and Patrick Warburton, but even their humor does little to lighten the mood.

On a side-note, for animation buffs, the film breaks a cardinal rule of animation by not only having the characters discuss “taking a crap” (their words), but actually showing it.  The scene is supposed to be funny, but when an animated PG-rated film has to stoop to such low humor to elicit a laugh, then you know you’re in trouble.

There’s been a glut of animation that has hit theaters this year after a relatively poor showing in 2005.  Compared to the likes of Cars (read that review) and Over the Hedge (read that review), and even Barnyard (read that review) and Monster House (read that review), Open Season fails to measure up.  Still, it’s marginally better than The Wild (read that review here); at least that’s something, right?

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Who Would Trust These People?

  • Title: Trust the Man
  • IMDb: link

Here’s everything you need to know about Trust the Man.  Every single moment in the film is done for a laugh, even the dramatic moments, and it’s not really a comedy.  We’ve got the man who’s afraid of commitment, the woman who dates all the wrong guys, the cheating husband, and the frigid wife.  What keeps the film from being an outright bore is the likeability of its stars, who do what they can with a pretty average script; they aren’t quite able to save it, but do provide some memorable moments.

Tom (David Duchovny) and Tobey (Billy Crudup) are best friends.  Tom is married to Tobey’s sister Rebecca (Julianne Moore) who is best friends with Tobey’s wife Elaine (Maggie Gyllenhaal).  The trouble is Tom and Tobey are typical Hollywood movie husbands who can’t help but disastrously screw up their relationship because the script tells them too.

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So Dark, the Con of Man

  • Title: The Da Vinci Code
  • IMDb: link

The Da Vinci Code

Ron Howard probably wasn’t the best director for a vast conspiracy/thriller picture; off the top of my head Oliver Stone seems to be the more natural choice.  Neither was Akiva Goldsman (I, Robot, A Beautiful Mind) the right man to try and adapt Dan Brown’s novel to screen.  The final look of the film feels very much like a book stuffed into a movie.  The film really is a confusing jumble of odd choices and missed opportunities.

In case your one of twelve people who hasn’t read the novel the premise runs like this:  Scholar Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) is on a book tour in Paris where he is summoned to the Louvre where a man (Jean_Pierre Marielle) who was scheduled to meet that afternoon has been murdered.  Captain Fache (Jean Reno) is certain Langdon is the killer while cryptographer (Audrey Tautou), who is also granddaughter of the murdered man, is certain he is innocent.  Neither one of their certainties is satisfactorily explained.

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The Sentinel

  • Title: The Sentinel
  • IMDb: link

Remember when it seemed like every other film was about the President of the United States?  What happened to that trend? Oh yeah, Clinton left office.  It’s telling when the only time Hollywood looks to the White House for material it’s either damning (see American Dreamz) or focusing on the underlings who make things run.  One would think that In the Line of Fire closed the book on Secret Service films, but apparently that was not to be.  Are we better off for having reopened the veiled windows of what goes on with the President’s bodyguards once more?  Let’s find out, shall we?

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