2 Razors

Snake Eyes

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Snake Eyes: G.I. JOE Origins
  • IMDb: link

Snake Eyes movie review

The third movie of the troubled franchise, Snake Eyes: G.I. JOE Origins turns back the clock to offer an origin story for the most popular member of G.I. JOE. The film plays fast a loose with the character’s history replacing his past as a soldier with that of a underground street fighter and member of the Yakuza. Snake Eyes (Henry Golding), who is named in the most ridiculous way possible, saves the life of Tommy “Storm Shadow” Arashikage (Andrew Koji) who invites him to join his ninja clan.

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The Boss Baby: Family Business

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: The Boss Baby: Family Business
  • IMDb: link

The Boss Baby: Family Business movie reviewThe sequel to 2017’s The Boss Baby picks up the story where an adult Tim (James Marsden) and Ted (Alec Baldwin) are recruited back into action by Tim’s baby daughter (Amy Sedaris) to save the world from a villain’s (Jeff Goldblum) evil plot. The story involves the pair getting turned back into the younger versions of themselves from the first film and infiltrating the local school. The film opens with the idea that schools, and learning/growing, are evil, something that it only grudgingly pulls back from. In a world where an entire segment of the population mistakenly cherishes this belief, using a family motion picture to, in any way, promote that idea is criminally negligent.

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F9

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: F9
  • IMDb: link

F9 movie reviewF9 is one of the dumbest things I have ever seen. In a theater, on television, on the Internet, or in real life. Even for a mediocre franchise like Fast & Furious that is known primarily for hot cars, hot girls, car chases and explosions, and ham-fisted messages about family, F9 is a really, really dumb movie. Characters return from the dead, never referenced brothers are shoehorned into backstory, characters drive a car in space, a computer device capable of controlling the entire world (which turns out isn’t all that well protected) falls into the hands of yet another evil version of our crew, and the only ones who can save the day are Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his friends. Let the insanity commence.

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Infinite

/ / Home Video
  • Title: Infinite
  • IMDb: link

Infinite movie reviewInfinite is a half-assed sci-fi film about immortals reincarnated over the years. Mark Wahlberg stars as Evan McCauley, a diagnosed schizophrenic with anger issues and dreams of other people’s lives. Arrested after a drug deal goes wrong, McCauley gets on the radar of two competing groups of immortals calling themselves Infinites who want what McCauley hid in a past life (a weapon capable of destroying all life on the planet).

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Money Plane

/ / Home Video
  • Title: Money Plane
  • IMDb: link

“You want to bet on a dude fucking an alligator? Money Plane!”

Money Plane movie reviewMoney Plane is your typical B-movie action flick about thieves forced to take an impossible job. After the movie’s opening heist goes bad, their backer (Kelsey Grammer) pushes the group into robbing a casino plane full of criminals wagering on anything dumb and/or repulsive. Led by Adam “Edge” Copeland, the team consists of Katrina Norman, Patrick Lamont Jr., and Andrew Lawrence with Thomas Jane as back-up. The modest budget and odd plot twists (some of which make absolutely no sense) are, I guess, to be expected from a movie called Money Plane.

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