2 Razors

The Midnight Sky

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: The Midnight Sky
  • IMDb: link

The Midnight Sky movie reviewWhat went wrong here? Based on the novel Good Morning, Midnight by Lily Brooks-Dalton, The Midnight Sky is a mess of mishmashed themes from other films such as The Martian, The Road, Gravity, Apollo 13 and others (all of which work far more effectively than what we’re given here). George Clooney directs and stars as the last man on Earth, a dying scientist in the Arctic who remains after the rest of humanity has fled to the stars when “something” happens to the planet (other than it being bad and having to do with radiation, the film never bothers to explain). I’m usually a fan of Clooney, particularly when he steps behind the camera, but The Midnight Sky never quite works.

Apparently none of the fleeing spaceships fare much better than those wiped out by radiation as our scientist turns his attention to one ship returning from a long mission on a moon of Jupiter. While most of the story takes place with Clooney is full grizzly mode, we get flashbacks to his past (where he provides the voice for Ethan Peck in some seriously disjointed scenes), and other sequences show life aboard the returning spaceship.

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True History of the Kelly Gang

/ / Home Video
  • Title: True History of the Kelly Gang
  • IMDb: link

True History of the Kelly Gang Blu-ray reviewTrue History of the Kelly Gang takes liberties with the history of Australian outlaw and folk hero Ned Kelly (George MacKay) for “entertainment” purposes. I put “entertainment” in quotes because True History of the Kelly Gang is anything but entertaining. The film is a slog through Kelly’s cheerless childhood to learning the outlaw ways and eventually running his own gang (while skirting issues of his sexuality and motivations at every turn). I’m not saying you couldn’t find a way to make an entertaining movie about a crossdressing cowboy, but this certainly isn’t it.

Adapted from the novel of the same name, the script adapted by Shaun Grant spends quite a bit of time on Kelly’s relationship to his parents (Essie Davis and Ben Corbett) and offering an explanation for where his later violence was born, but it doesn’t have much to say about Kelly as either an outlaw or a man. The tone shifts wildly from dark and brooding to at times nearly whimsical leading to an uneven experience that leaves me disinterested in learning anything more about Ned Kelly (or ever seeing this film again).

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Artemis Fowl

/ / Home Video
  • Title: Artemis Fowl
  • IMDb: link

Artemis Fowl movie reviewIn an age where every comic book and young adult novel is scooped up by a studio hoping to build the next big movie franchise, you can see why something like Artemis Fowl would be appealing. Originally planned for the turn of the millennium, the project spent nearly two decades in development hell at various studios before Disney was eventually able to heavily adapt the events from the popular novels to film. Maybe they should have taken a little longer.

Artemis Fowl is a mess. We’re introduced to the brilliant teenager Artemis Fowl, Jr. (Ferdia Shaw), we know he’s smart as the script continually reminds us, who discovers his father’s (Colin Farrell) stories about magic and fairies are all true after Sr. is abducted by a mysterious figure who hopes to trade him for a mystical artifact she hopes Jr. can find (despite the boy having no practical knowledge of his father’s secret life). Thrown into the mix are Lara McDonnell as a sort of elvish soldier and a giant dwarf played by Josh Gad who narrates the film by explaining events to authorities (often breaking the fourth wall and talking directly to the audience) in a vain attempt to keep the runaway train on its tracks.

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Terminator: Dark Fate

/ / Home Video
  • Title: Terminator: Dark Fate
  • IMDb: link

Terminator: Dark Fate movie reviewThe latest desperate attempt to breathe new life into the franchise is awkwardly inconsistent while pushing a laudable girl power message through a mine field of a plot that often blows up in the actors’ faces. Knocking off John Connor in the pre-credit sequence (which apparently cures his mother’s cancer?) creates a new timeline for Terminator: Dark Fate in which Skynet never rose but an almost identical artificial intelligence with time-travelling robots (lamely named Legion) comes to power. Set in the present, a Terminator (Gabriel Luna) and an enhanced soldier (Mackenzie Davis) are sent back in time. The target is a young woman (Natalia Reyes) who will grow to fill the void left by John’s death.

Ignoring all events after T2, the new timeline allows for the return of Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) and Arnold Schwarzenegger as Skynet’s final Terminator now passing for human. Although it earns points for removing Terminator Salvation from continuity, the brain-melting Dark Fate is inferior in every way to Rise of the Machines which remains the only Terminator movie that thought out the lasting ramifications of time travel.

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The Boys – Proper Preparation and Planning

/ / Television Reviews
  • Title: The Boys – Proper Preparation and Planning
  • wiki: link

The Boys - Proper Preparation and Planning television review

In an episode more notable for its creepy subplots, “Proper Preparation and Planning” does explain why the season premiere didn’t fill us in on Butcher‘s (Karl Urban) discovery at the end of last season. Apparently, there was nothing to tell. He saw Becca (Shantel VanSanten) and her son before being whisked away by Homelander (Antony Starr) who has apparently agreed to let Butcher live if Becca gives the psychotic pseudo-hero access to his son. Becca’s flight response is in overdrive, but she is trapped in the Vought compound by a company too scared to piss off Homelander by relocating her again. Becca isn’t the only woman pressured by a super-powered dick in the episode as A-Train (Jessie T. Usher) returns to fuck with Starlight (Erin Moriarty), especially once he notices her working on something shady behind the scenes.

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