2 Razors

Survivor

  • Title: Survivor
  • IMDb: link

SurvivorSometimes a movie just doesn’t work. There are plenty of more successful films with less going for them than James McTeigue‘s Survivor which stars Milla Jovovich as a Foreign Service Agent in London who uncovers a terrorist plot and spends most of the movie running not only from British authorities but a high-class assassin (Pierce Brosnan) responsible for the deaths of her co-workers.

For an action-thriller Survivor is a bore. Brosnan barely registers a pulse as the cold-blooded killer. Jovovich is fine as the woman on the run. The plot, while indistinguishable from any number of action films (other than Jovovich’s specific job), is passable enough but there’s simply no magic on-screen leading to an underwhelming and underachieving movie that’s no so much awful as completely forgettable.

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Clipped – Big Gay Wedding

  • Title: Clipped – Big Gay Wedding
  • IMDb: link

Clipped - Big Gay Wedding

Buzzy’s (George Wendt) wedding to Tommy (Reginald VelJohnson) has everyone but Charmaine (Diona Reasonover) in a festive mood. Based on her own history with wedding fallout (which it takes far too long to take anyone to point out that it doesn’t apply AT ALL to the current situation involving a pair of older gay men that have no intention of having kids of their own) Charmaine momentarily talks Buzzy out of the wedding forcing Danni (Ashley Tisdale) to try and put things right.

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Stitchers – A Stitcher in the Rye

  • Title: Stitchers – A Stitcher in the Rye
  • wiki: link

Stitchers - A Stitcher in the Rye

The latest episode of Stitchers not only introduces Kirsten (Emma Ishta) to the woman whose job she took over but also makes the new Stitcher aware that the program’s true purpose may not be to solve minds by romping through the memories of dead people. “A Stitcher in the Rye” begins with the murder of a former agent of the CIA turned conspiracy nut and food truck vendor (you know, basically a lateral career move). Discovering the man was in possession of Stitcher code sends Kirsten on a mission to find the mole within the group and leads her directly to Marta (Tiffany Hines) who attempts to impart some knowledge about the organization they both work for before she commits suicide because a member of the super-secret government organization she’s been trying to expose since waking from a coma asks her to.

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Stitchers – Connections

  • Title: Stitchers – Connections
  • wiki: link

Stitchers - Connections

Perhaps realizing how short of run the series is likely to have given the quality of writing so far Stitchers wastes no time to start pairing off characters into romantic relationships while beginning to explore the mystery of the lives who created the program and continuing to underline the dangers of it as Kirsten (Emma Ishta) becomes lost in her latest stitch unable to separate her own feelings from that of a victim (Hina Abdullah) whose husband (Michael Grant Terry) looks guilty for her murder.

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Stitchers – A Stitch in Time

  • Title: Stitchers – A Stitch in Time
  • wiki: link

Stitchers - A Stitch in Time

ABC Family’s new sci-fi procedural stars Emma Ishta as a young woman with a unique psychological disorder that limits her friendships and career opportunities but makes her the ideal candidate for a secret government organization miles under a mediocre Chinese restaurant whose purpose is to enter the minds of the recently-deceased to solve crimes and prevent future tragedies. Um, okay. Kirsten’s Temporal Dysplasia, a fancy way of saying she is unable to tell the passage of time making emotional reaction or connection difficult for her, gives her an advantage (in a way that’s never properly explained) to work an experimental technology knowing as Stiching (that’s equally circumspect) that puts a living brain inside that of a recent dead one to find important facts before the brain completely degrades (okay now you’re just making shit up, right?).

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