3 Razors

Dumb but fun “Pirates”

  • Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
  • IMDB: link

dead-mans-chest-poster-2It’s July, and the most exciting movie to have come out this summer has been The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. Don’t get me wrong, I was along for the ride when it came out last month; but this is summer, and we should be bombarded with more action than the Playboy Mansion.  Where’s that movie that you can’t get yourself to leave for the restroom after drinking a gallon of Cherry Coke from the consession stand, even though you’re pretty sure it will cause some sort of internal combustion by the time the credits role?

Now it’s here, and it’s called Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. It doesn’t quite threaten audiences’ bladders like you might hope it will, but in this summer of Poseidon and X-Men: The Last Stand, it feels pretty damn good to be able to escape to the cinemas from the dead heat of summer into a decent action flick for the first time this year.

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Superman Remade

  • Title: Superman Returns
  • IMDb: link

superman-returns-poster

What’s with Hollywood and rubberized super hero suits?  Is there some kind of run on cloth?  Did they buy it all in bulk a few years ago and have to use it all up before buying something new?  Anyway…

Superman Returns isn’t a great super hero flick, but it does have charm and heart which left me happy, though not ecstatic, with the outcome.  Given its similarities, it’s impossible to not compare it to Donner’s original, and find it wanting.  Still, in a summer that’s given us X-Men: The Last Stand and Nacho Libre this Superman looks damn good.

Five years ago (sometime not long after the events of Superman II) Earth’s scientists found the remains of Krypton and, without saying his goodbyes, Superman left his adopted home.  As the movie opens Superman (Brandon Routh) crashes back to Earth on the Kent farm.  After a brief talk with Ma Kent (Eva Marie Saint – very nice casting choice!) Clark returns to Metropolis and his life as a reporter for the Daily Planet.

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Scary Movie 4

  • Title: Scary Movie 4
  • IMDb: link

Scary Movie 4

Okay, I went to see the first Scary Movie back in 2000 and I laughed, groaned, and winced my way through.  In the end I had a fine time but didn’t feel the need to see the next two sequels.  In watching the fourth film of the “trilogy,” which hits theaters today, I experienced a very strong deja vu reaction.  The parts that work still work and the parts that don’t…. well, still don’t.  Even with it’s flaws, the film does have just enough to offer for me to recommend it.  What, you ask?  Well…

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Unlucky Slevin Lacks Bang

  • Title: Lucky Number Slevin
  • IMDb: link

Lucky Number Slevin

I’m not a big Josh Hartnett fan; I’ve seen to many of his movies.  I know that sounds harsh but anybody else remember Hollywood Homicide, 40 Days and 40 Nights, Blow Dry, and Pearl Harbor?  Slevin takes a rather simple plot and twists it up in a maze-like formula of so many thrillers these days.  While it’s better than something like Taking Lives in the end that’s not saying much.  It’s not bad, it’s got a good cast and a few memorable moments, and a 70’s style set designer for some reason.  But in the end it’s just okay.  Still, any film where Josh Hartnett gets punched repeatedly in the face I’m all for.

Slevin (Josh Hartnett) decides to take a trip to New York City to visit his friend Nick Fisher (Sam Jaeger).  From the moment he steps into NY things go wrong.  First he’s mugged getting into town losing his wallet and all identification (and getting his nose broken for the first time) and on arriving at Nick’s apartment is taken by thugs to be the owner of the apartment, his friend Nick, who has fled the city owing money to two competing gangster families and left Slevin holding the bag.  With friends like these…

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Justice League – Season One

  • Title: Justice League – Season One
  • tv.com: link

justice-league-season-one-dvdThe greatest heroes of the planet band together to stop criminals…wait I remember this show, it had a monkey named Gleek right?  Wrong.  Unlike SuperFriends, Justice League takes the characters and situations they encounter seriously and does a pretty good job of adapting the comic version to the TV screen.

When aliens who have already destroyed Mars thousands of years ago attack the Earth the Martian Manhunter (Carl Lumbly) gathers together the world’s best heroes to make a stand.  Superman (George Newbern), Batman (Kevin Conroy), John Stewart the Green Lantern (Phil Lamar), the fastest man alive – the Flash (Michael Rosenbaum), a warrior from the planet Thanagar – Hawgirl (Maria Canals), and an amazon princess – Wonder Woman (Susan Eisenberg) team to make Earth’s last stand.

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