After spending more than 15 years in development hell, this post-apocalyptic action flick finally sees the light of day. Set a decade after the world has fallen into chaos when a solar flare destroys most of the world’s technology, and various warlords arise to fight over what is left, Dave Bautista stars as a treasure hunter who continues to put his skills to work finding rare and lost items for the local would-be king (Samuel L. Jackson).
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There’s a moment, perhaps 80-minutes into the film, where our protagonists battle cursed skeleton warriors inside a hollowed-out nuclear reactor which provides the only momentary thrill of an otherwise dreadful adaptation of a George R. R. Martin short story featuring a witch (Milla Jovovich) with pulsating eyeballs and a hunter (Dave Bautista) traveling through a dystopian desert in search of a werewolf. Filmed on a modest budget for large-scale sci-fi/horror, In the Lost Lands earned back one-ninth of the film’s cost. The term is often overused nowadays, but this is what a true flop looks like. It did no better with critics than audiences with its hackneyed storytelling and half-developed concepts finding little to no support.
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After starting a new relationship with a dancer (Sofia Boutella), a contract killer is diagnosed with a rapidly-deteriorating illness. Unwilling to go out that way, and unable to do the deed himself or convince a friend (Ben Kingsley) to help, Joe Flood (Dave Bautista) goes to an enemy (Pom Klementieff) and pays for his own murder. The twist comes when the doctor tells Joe there has been a mix-up and that he’s actually not dying giving the killer a reason to live but no way to call off the hit.
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The unlikeliest hit of any Marvel Studios movie was 2014’s Guardians of the Galaxy. After a so-so sequel, and appearances in Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame, the gang reunites one last time for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. Jumping between stories involving a nightmarish version of Halfworld and exploration of Rocket‘s (Bradley Cooper) past, the return of the most unlikable version of Gamora (Zoe Saldana) we’ve seen on film, the bug-eyed machinations of the High Evolutionary (Chukwudi Iwuji), and the (completely unnecessary) addition of Adam Warlock (Will Poulter), Guardians 3 is a mess. Don’t get me wrong, at times it’s an entertaining mess, but it’s a mess nonetheless.
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While more successful than The Star Wars Holiday Special, there’s not all that much to The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special other than a holiday message, reworking a character’s backstory to create a familial relationship where none existed before, and bringing the oft-mentioned Kevin Bacon into the MCU when the actor is kidnapped by Drax (Dave Bautista) and Mantis (Pom Klementieff) as a Christmas gift to Peter (Chris Pratt). Bookended by some animated sequences, the budget of the special is quite noticeably less than the Guardians features (especially where Groot is concerned), but fans may get some mild enjoyment from the modest proceedings.
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