John Cena

Heads of State

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  • Title: Heads of State
  • IMDb: link

Heads of State is a particularly dumb action-comedy starring John Cena and Idris Elba as the President of the United States and the Prime Minister of Britain who must put their mutual animosity aside when a terrorist organization attempts to kill them as part of a larger conspiracy to destroy NATO. We also get Priyanka Chopra Jonas as a MI6 officer, and former flame to the British Prime Minister, who eventually teams up with the pair in an attempt to get both of them to Italy alive. The most interesting moment of the entire film comes in the form of a montage flashback sequence explaining how she caught up with them which, from the looks of it, would have made a far better film than the one we got.

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Argylle

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Argylle
  • IMDb: link

Argylle

Argylle is bonkers. The latest from director Matthew Vaughn, in his collaboration with screenwriter Jason Fuchs, contains more than a little Kingsman DNA in an over-the-top tale of a best-selling author who discovers the characters and stories she has been writing about are real. As a one-time experience, Argylle may be worth a viewing. As a film, the over-the-top tone is inconsistent for both the serious and comedic sequences it is constantly applied to. When the film leans into its inherent goofiness ratcheting up to levels that make Kingsman: The Secret Service look like a spy documentary, Argylle can be fun, but when it attempts to be serious about a story we simply can not take seriously the entire movie grinds to a screeching halt.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
  • IMDb: link

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have been rebooted so many times over the years it’s hard to keep track of the number of times they’ve changed since they first appeared on comic shelves in the mid-1980s. The latest iteration of the group found in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem is neither the best nor worst version we’ve seen. Presenting a grungier animation, likely in hopes of pulling in comparisons to the Spider-Verse movies (it is not on that level), the script takes various aspects of the Turtles origins, altering and updating them slightly for a familiar and fresh feel for the foursome.

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Fast X

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  • Title: Fast X
  • IMDb: link

Having nowhere new to go with the series, the Fast & Furious franchise looks backwards by photoshopping Jason Momoa into the events of Fast Five (the best movie of the hit, and mostly miss, franchise) and quickly elevating him to one of its most dangerous villains. At least more enjoyable than the last entry, Fast X is mostly harmless with some extravagant special effects sequences including our heroes chasing a giant bomb crashing through the streets of Rome. Its also mindbogglingly twenty minutes too long while making no effort to wrap up events before the credits roll. How can a movie this long never end?

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Ready to Rumble

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  • Title: Ready to Rumble
  • IMDb: link

Throwback Tuesday takes us back to year 2000 and the attempts of two braindead wrestling fans (David Arquette and Scott Caan), who have obviously never heard the term kayfabe, to help their shitcanned hero (Oliver Platt) reclaim his championship after being buried and fired. Ready to Rumble is a bizarre film, created during the height of World Championship Wrestling’s popularity and features several wrestlers of note including Sting, Diamond Dallas Page, Goldberg, Curt Henning, Booker T, Bam Bam Bigelow, and more.

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