Mark Wahlberg

Balls Up

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  • Title: Balls Up
  • IMDb: link

In a library of mediocre to awful Prime original movies, Balls Up asks them all to hold their beer. This aggressively unfunny comedy stars Mark Wahlberg and Paul Walter Hauser as employees for a company that invents a condom that also covers a man’s balls (hence the film’s title) who cause an incident at the World Cup making them the target of an entire country of insane soccer fans. We also get the likes of Benjamin Bratt, Sacha Baron Cohen, Eva De Dominici, Daniela Melchior, and Molly Shannon for equally unamusing moments.

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Play Dirty

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  • Title: Play Dirty
  • IMDb: link

A less successful adaptation of the Parker novels than that of Jason Statham (there’s a sentence you don’t hear often), Mark Wahlberg stars in what is easily the worst, and most bland, Shane Black movie ever made. After a heist gone wrong, Parker (Wahlberg) works with the duplicitous Zen (Rosa Salazar) on an even larger heist which will pit him against his old enemy Lozini (Tony Shalhoub) and the Outfit.

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The Union

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  • Title: The Union
  • IMDb: link

The Union

Thu Union is dumb even by the sliding scale of throwaway action movie standards. A blue collar intelligence organization (which no one has ever heard of) has allowed a list of all the spies in the world (which shouldn’t even exist) loose into the world which will be sold at a blind auction to the the highest bidder. To get the list back, and prevent its sale by a privateer (Jessica De Gouw), one of the agents (Halle Berry) of “The Union” chooses to recruit her high school prom date (Mark Wahlberg) who never made it out of New Jersey and lacks both useful experience or a desire to get involved.

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