Romance

Duff-defying

Save me from teen starlet sisters and their wacky romantic comedies.  While I’m sure young girls (and old perverts) might find something to enjoy in the latest Duff n’ Duff production, I wasn’t amused or angered at what was put in front of me.  All I could muster was an empathic feeling of embarrassment for everyone involved.

Material Girls
1 Star

I usually like nothing better than to rip a film like this to pieces, but this one is so bad that I actually became sorry for all those involved.  Rather than pointing out the films poor acting, writing, production, and directing, I’d just like to offer everyone a great big hug and a shoulder for all involved to cry themselves back to sanity.  Don’t worry; you’ll work again…probably.

The Marchetta sisters, Tanzie (Hilary Duff) and Ava (Haylie Duff), are heirs to a cosmetic fortune held in trust by their father’s best friend (Brent Spiner) after his death.  They’re rich and spoiled, but are good natured, honest, nice and sweet.

Just days before receiving control of their company the girls get an offer to sell out to their competitor, Fabiella (Anjelica Huston).  Shortly afterward news breaks on the troubling side effects of the new cosmetics put out by Marchetta, sending the girls on the run from the paparazzi.

Together with the help of a lawyer (Lukas Haas) and a scientist/valet (Marcus Coloma) the girls find happiness, despite the loss of their millions, and begin investigating the incident in order to recover their wealth and clear their father’s good name.

Where to begin?  The movie feels like a made-for-TV after school special from the eighties.  I didn’t know Brent Spiner and Anjelica Huston were so hard up for roles.  I really hope they get back on their feet and are able to put food on the table with the checks from this film.  I wonder if there’s a celebrity charity hotline I could call and offer them my help?

The film has a loose plot that revolves around the sisters getting into different kinds of trouble (the “humorous” not the dangerous kind), reconnecting with their housekeeper (Maria Conchita Alonso – Where have you been?  It’s been long time since The Running Man).  Nothing remarkable to talk about here; the hijinks of the girls are your usual B-sitcom variety.

This one’s not going on anybody’s resume.  The more I watched the film the sadder I got for the Duff girls.  Really, I wanted to advise them to burn every copy of this film.  More than anything it shows the lack of range of both sisters, who might be at home on a TV screen or in a music video, but are sorely lacking the star power needed to carry a film (at least one that was seemingly written by thirteen year-old girls over lunch one dreary afternoon).  Hopefully the film won’t lose too much money, and they’ll be able to get back their TV commercial jobs selling gum.

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Dancing Fools

Yet another film about dancing.  Joy.  In this one, a thuggish young brute learns to love dance thanks to a beautiful girl.  How original!  I went into this film fully prepared to hate every frame, but despite it’s glaring errors (and it has more than a few) somehow I enjoyed myself enough to, marginally, recommend the film.  I think fans of this genre will be satisfied and enjoy themselves (and the dates they drag along may be able to enjoy themselves a little too).

Step Up
3 Stars

You’ve seen this before, we all have.  A girl falls for a guy from the wrong side of the tracks.  A classically trained dancer learns to use hip hop moves to create a new revolutionary routine that will get her into the big time.  Step Up is the latest dance film to recycle these themes.  There is little originality, and even fewer surprises, but the choreography and presence of the films leading lady make up for some, though certainly not all, of its flaws.

Tyler Gage (Channing Tatum, in a very accurate John Cena impersonation) is a thug who enjoys stealing cars, partying hard, destroying and vandalizing, and quitting anything that requires the smallest bit of effort, commitment, or time.  After breaking in and vandalizing a fine arts school with his friends, Tyler is sentenced to 200 hours of community service at the school.

While working as a janitor Tyler meets a young dance student, Nora (Jenna Dewan), in need of a partner for her showcase.  Discovering Tyler’s ability to dance the two partner up.  Nora begins to make Tyler believe more is possible, and as they work together…well, star crossed lovers from opposite sides of the tracks, you can guess where the film goes from here.

It is odd how every student in the film looks like a college graduate.  In fact the revelation that they are supposed to be high school students was shocking.  What, does high school in this area go up to the 27th grade?

Odd casting aside, the actors do their best with the roles.  Dewan is the stand-out, and based on her performance here I think we’ll be seeing much more of her in the future.

Tatum is fine as the ogre-like Tyler who spends half his time trying not to scrape his knuckles when he walks and the other half as a dance wiz.  Drew Sidora and Mario have a nice subplot (which is the only thing that feels teenage about the entire film).  And Rachel Griffiths adds some class as the stern but loving principal of the school.

The film marks the directing debut of Anne Fletcher who has worked as a dancer and choreographer in more than 30 Hollywood films.  The dance scenes are some of the best of the film.

It’s not a must see, but in terms of chick-flicks guys might be able to survive this summer, Step Up gives you more than you’d expect.  Hey, it’s got some good dancing, beautiful girls, and a good sense of humor about its subject.  The film does have some darker spots involving gangs, and violence.  These scenes don’t exactly mesh with the rest of the film but do help carry the storyline to its conclusion.  It’s Dewan’s spirit and personality, not to mention her tights-clad body in motion, that helps carry the film.  She reminds me a little of Susan Ward, and I’ll be interested in seeing where her career goes from here.

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Jersey Girl

  • Title: Jersey Girl
  • IMDb: link

It’s no Gigli, thank goodness, it is something much much better. Given just about anything is better than Gigli, except for Battlefield Earth. Ben Affleck has redeemed himself with his female audience. After Gigli and the whole Bennifer fiasco, Jersey Girl is a pleasant cuddly film that many can enjoy. Ben you are forgiven! Kevin Smith steps out of his crazy cult film attire, puts Jay and Silent Bob in a closet, and tries on a more wholesome and grown up approach to movie making. Kevin admits it’s because of his new found experiences of being a father himself that has led him down this road.

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A Shared Moment

  • Title: Chasing Amy
  • IMDb: link

chasing-amy-poster

I came into the View Askew Universe in the middle.  I hadn’t seen Clerks or Mallrats and didn’t even really know much about this filmmaker named Kevin Smith.  I was in college and over winter break a friend had recommended this film called Chasing Amy to me (thanks Mary!!).  She wouldn’t tell me much about it except that it was something she wouldn’t recommend to everyone but thought it was something I might like.

Back at school a month or two later I discovered that for two nights the university movie theater was showing that same film.  Remembering the recommendation and with nothing better to do I went and I went back the next night to see it again.  I can’t remember a film that touched me on so many levels and I’ve been a supporter of Kevin Smith ever since hoping one day he’ll find the magic he weaved in this film.  Over the years I’ve been entertained by Smith’s later work and enjoyed his two previous films but sadly none would measure up to the one so dear to my heart.

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Oh Just Break-Up Already!

  • Title: The Break-Up
  • IMDb: link

The Break-Up

What happened here?  The ingredients are here for a good film, but nothing happens.  Aniston’s second disappointment of the year is even worse than the first (Friends with Moneyread that review here).  Guys if your girl wants to see this find an excuse, any will do even if you have to cause yourself some physical pain (it will be less than viewing this flick trust me), to stay away.

Brooke (Jennifer Aniston) the sexy art dealer and Gary (Vince Vaughn) the tour bus director met cute at a Cubs/Sox game and have been together ever since.  Brooke feels Vince isn’t putting enough into the relationship and decides to break-up with him not because she wants to break-up but because she thinks it will make him love her more and admit he is wrong.  Such twisted-movie-female-logic is the stuff this film is made of.

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