May 2006

X-Men: The Very Last Stand…We Hope

X3 has critics and audiences dancing 50/50; some love it and others hate it. True comic book geeks will be very very sad; the characters are hodge podged and mixed up with poor make-up, hair and costumes. Director Brett Ratner certainly screwed up this famous marvel line and the massive egos from the talent finished out any characters that we have grown to love and set on the edge of our seats to see on the big screen. On the other hand, if you want a fluffy semi-action filled popcorn flick with mutants, then X3 will completely please.

X-Men: The Last Stand
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I’m sure you are asking yourself, “what is this raving critic going on about?” Let me explain, I could easily list the many things gone wrong here. Character backgrounds and purpose to the storyline is completely left out; most of the time you will be at a total loss for why, who or when a character came about, and they come and go so quickly. Somebody should have fired the hairdresser right out of the gates, Wolverine’s hair was flat and messy and Jeans was just plain bad. Focusing on Storm and her powers and leaving out all the rest, come on Halle give us a break, it’s not called X-Men: All About Storm. Wolverine started out light hearted, then turned into love crazed and ended up psycho killer with a touch of Van Helsing; dicing up Magneto’s teenage post-neo-goth army, must have been one hell of a workout for him. There are times where characters completely disappear for segments of the film or for good, but nobody’s worried about where they went or if they are ever coming back. X3 is full of technical, character and casting errors and blunders, I could literally go on and on, but I’ll save you the painful read.

It starts 20 years prior and introduces Dr. Jean Grey’s history with The Professor and Magneto and then jumps forward 10 years more and introduces Angel and his father, with one more jump we are in a battle zone between Wolverine, Storm and a group of mutants, from the school, and a very large robot. Don’t worry, no damage is done, it’s just a training exercise. Scotts crying in his glasses and hearing Jean’s voice and The Professor is merely teaching a class. Suddenly news flashes and there is a cure for all mutants, Angel’s father has come up with a cure for his son. Angel doesn’t want the cure, does his Victoria Secret’s Super Model pose and flies out the window. Magneto is doing his usual save the mutant world by killing and destroying; he starts a small army of teenagers who have minimal powers to stop the government from forcing this cure on mutants and stop mutants from volunteering for it. Wolverine, Storm, The Beast, Kitty and Iceman head off Magneto and saves the world. That pretty well sums up the whole story.

Mutants die, innocent people die, others get to live, important characters come and go, The Golden Gate Bridge gets moved (cause a boat would have been just too easy), cars are blown up, mutants become human and if you wait past the credits there is a big secret hiding there. No, X3 doesn’t compare to any of the past X-Men films and comic book lovers will most diffidently be disappointed, but the general audience and a special age group between 10 and 19 will possibly adore it. It’s popcorn fluff through and through.

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X3: The Lamest Stand

  • Title: X-Men: The Last Stand
  • IMDB: link

x-men-the-lamest-stand-posterI have this vision in my head of Brett Ratner and Bryan Singer.  Singer who directed the first two films was originally attached to this one and Ratner was scheduled to direct Superman Returns.  One left, then the other and then they were suddenly attached to each other’s films.  Here’s my thought – Ratner and Singer both in their new offices laughing hysterically to themselves that they’ve detached themselves from a horrible project and put the noose around the other guy’s neck while they have moved on to brighter pastures.  Then they each sit down in their new offices in their cushy chairs basking in their sense of accomplishment and read the script in front of them only upon finishing to exclaim, “Oh shit!”

The fallout from Alkaline Lake has left Cyclops (James Marsden) a broken man who is drawn back there after months by a voice in his head only to find his love Jean Grey (Famke Jensen) resurrected but not quite the same.  It seems Jean is the most powerful mutant on the planet and also has been schizophrenic since childhood; the repressed personality of the Phoenix is now in control.  Professor X (Patrick Stewart) had been keeping Jean’s mind together by caging the other personality deep within her mind but now it has been unleashed.

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Shout Out

Every once and awhile in this dreary world it’s good to give a shout out to those that have done some good.  Despite the fact the most country stations still won’t play their music from the backlash of lead singer Natalie Maines’ comment about ol’ Georgey Boy, the Dixie Chicks new album hit the shelves this week.  Gone is some of the twang as the album seems a tad more late 70’s soft-rock than usual, but the sassiness is still present in songs like “Not Ready to Make Nice.”  I’ve been a fan of the group’s individual voice and collective sound for awhile and I’ll probably pick this one up not only for the music but for something country music fans don’t seem to think real Americans believe in – Freedom of Speech.

On a personal note I also want to give a huge shout out to childhood pal John Furgason (no, not the one you’ll see writing reviews in the near future on this site) who along with Jeff Everett took home an MVPA (Music Video Production Association) Award for Best Art Direction for the White Stripes’ video “The Denial Twist.”  (For the full list of winners click here)

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Every once and awhile in this dreary world it’s good to give a shout out to those that have done some good.  Despite the fact the most country stations still won’t play their music from the backlash of lead singer Natalie Maines’ comment about ol’ Georgey Boy, the Dixie Chicks new album hit the shelves this week.  Gone is some of the twang as the album seems a tad more late 70’s soft-rock than usual, but the sassiness is still present in songs like “Not Ready to Make Nice.”  I’ve been a fan of the group’s individual voice and collective sound for awhile and I’ll probably pick this one up not only for the music but for something country music fans don’t seem to think real Americans believe in – Freedom of Speech.

On a personal note I also want to give a huge shout out to childhood pal John Furgason (no, not the one you’ll see writing reviews in the near future on this site) who along with Jeff Everett took home an MVPA (Music Video Production Association) Award for Best Art Direction for the White Stripes’ video “The Denial Twist.”  (For the full list of winners click here)

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Ghost Rider Trailer

You may or may not know that the new trailer for Ghost Rider starring Nicholas Cage has been attached to X3.  Now normally we’d just let you go see the filck and get a chance at the trailer there as we don’t normally post trailers.  But you see we went to see X3 and that’s a high price indeed for a peek at the new Ghost Rider film so here you go.  Just click on the pic!!

Ghost Rider
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You may or may not know that the new trailer for Ghost Rider starring Nicholas Cage has been attached to X3.  Now normally we’d just let you go see the filck and get a chance at the trailer there as we don’t normally post trailers.  But you see we went to see X3 and that’s a high price indeed for a peek at the new Ghost Rider film so here you go.  Just click on the pic!!

 

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