Alan Rapp

Bareback Mountain

  • Title: Brokeback Mountain
  • IMDB: link

brokeback-mountain-poster

Brokeback Mountain seems to be this year’s belle of the ball garnering seven Golden Globe nominations.  Is it the best film of the year?  No, but it’s pretty darn good.  Garnering huge attention for it’s detailed look at the secret homosexual relationship between two cowboys Ang Lee gives us an intriguing tale that just like Heath Ledger’s character desperately wants to say more than it is knows how to.

The story involves the secret relationship of Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) which begins one summer as the two cowboys herd sheep up on Brokeback Mountain.  A physical relationship develops between the two that picks up years later as both men have moved on with their lives, settled down and married.  On fishing trips back to Brokeback the two bask in the joy of being together knowing that the outside world will never accept them and they can only truly be together on the mountain.

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A History of Violence

  • Title: A History of Violence
  • IMDb: link

a-history-of-violence

A History of Violence is only 96 minutes long and everything you need to know about the film can be found in that amount of time.  It’s a streamlined and stripped down story that doesn’t waste a single frame or a single performance.  And for its short running time it is amazingly effective, disturbing, distressing, and haunting.

Tom Stall (Viggo Mortensen) and his wife Edie (Mario Bello) own a diner in a sleepy little town of Millbrook, Indiana.  They are raising a son (Ashton Holmes) who is tortured by bullies but has been taught to turn the other cheek, and a young daughter (Heidi Hayes).  Their life seems idyllic until a pair of thugs attempt to rob the diner and kill the witnesses.  Tom kills both men with brutal efficiency that is unusual in a diner owner of a sleepy town.

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TV Midterm Report Card

As shows pause for the holiday hiatus we take a look at what we’ve seen so far on the tube this year and pass judgment on the impressive and disastrous programs we’ve seen so far this year while totally ignoring anything that could be remotely referred to as “reality tv.”

TV Mid-Season Grades
N/A

As shows pause for the holiday hiatus we take a look at what we’ve seen so far on the tube this year and pass judgment on the impressive and disastrous programs we’ve seen so far this year while totally ignoring anything that could be remotely refered to as “reality tv.”

Veronica Mars

The sophomore season of last year’s cult hit gives a little more focus on relationships and Veronica trying to be “normal” which have held back the show that was last year’s most pleasant surprise.  The first season focused on the murder of Lily Kane which was solved in the final episode.  The show is also missing the Veronica / Wallace friendship.  Without that big mystery the show has introduced several small ones, none of which are as interesting or as emotionally compelling – such as Meg’s coma, pregnancy and death, did Logan really commit murder, and who is responsible for the bus crash?  Nice guest stars from the ‘verse as Charisma Carpenter, Alyson Hannigan, and even Josh Whedon himself show up in Neptune.
Midseason Grade: B

Smallville

We got the Fortress of Solitude, mention of Zod, and James Marsters guest turn as Braniac.  Too bad so much was squandered.  The Brainiac storyline was a waste as Marsters played a professor who the audience knew was an alien but no character did for weeks.  His evil turn was handled with the delicacy of a bull on angel dust.  And don’t even get me started on the vampire episode, ugh!  Aside from the Fortress of Solitude and the very interesting casting of the voice of Jor-El (and the reunion of the original Duke boys, Ye-hah!) the season has been miserable.  Hopefully this year Lex will finally take his dark turn (enough teasing already!). 
Midseason Grade: D

Family Guy

As always the show is a mix of good moments and WTF was that?  This year has seen Peter be declared legally retarded, Lois finds her long lost brother who she let’s out of the mental institution not realizing tendency to kill large men, Peter starts his own religion based on the Fonz (hey, I’ve heard of religions based on worse ideas), and the FCC steps by to censor all of Peter’s good ol’ American fun.  Funny cut scenes including my favorite where Stewie travels across country and gives Will Ferrell his due for Bewitched.
Midseason Grade: B-

How I Met Your Mother

I haven’t seen as much of this as I would like, but I think it’s got a chance.  A talented cast (Neal Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Josh Radnor, Jason Segel and Cobi Smulders) and some good writing should spell some success if the show can stay on air long enough to find itself and hit its stride.  I like the cast’s chemistry and of all the twenty-something Friends knockoffs this one might be the best (hard to be worse than Joey).
Midseason Grade: INCOMPLETE

CSI

Am I the only one that thinks these forensic shows have run their course?  CSI:Crime Scene Inestigation, CSI:Miami, and CSI:NY still do well in the ratings, but the shows have become little more than gore-fests with either clever or stupid criminals and not much mystery.  Also a focus on relationships and hidden dark secrets trying to broaden the characters’ lives.  Doesn’t help.  If you’ve seen a season of one of these shows you’ve seen them all.
Midseason Grade: D

The West Wing

The influx of talent from last year (Jimmy Smits, Alan Alda, etc.) started to change the show and finally bring it out of its post-Sorkin funk that it had been languishing in since its creator left.  John Wells never find the right notes with Bartlett and crew, but has found his own voice and story with the election run of Smits and Alda’s characters.  No longer the shadow of its former self, but still not sure what it wants to be.  Some questions to be answered: is it possible to drag out this election cycle any longer? and what does the death of John Spencer mean for the show’s storyline?
Midseason Grade: C

Well that’s it for now tune back in next week and check out our preview of this year’s mid-season replacements that includes one or two promising shows (hey, Buffy started out as a mid-season replacement and that turned out pretty well).

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Poorly Produced

Ugh…The Producers is a staged remake of the Broadway show which was remade from the original movie starring Gene Wilder and Zero Mostel.  So it’s a remake of a remake (of a sort) and it feels like it.  Is it bad when the Springtime for Hitler number is the most professionally done (and still nowhere near as good as the original) of, well anything, in the film?

The Producers (2005)
1 Star

I never went to see the play The Producers, until now.  I say that because the film looks like so much like a stage show that I wondered why they didn’t just tape a Broadway performance on Betamax and distort the image through a projector onto the screen.  I guess that would have aimed too high.

I am a huge fan of the original film which I consider to be Mel Brooks’ funniest film (though not best, here’s that review).  I could have lived without seeing the never-ending disaster that Susan Sroman, Matthew Broderick, Nathan Lane, and Uma Thurman create out of such a great script.

The story more closely follows the stage version rather than the original movie which involves producer Max Bialystock (Nathan Lane) and accountant Leo Bloom (Matthew Broderick) deciding to produce the biggest flop on Broadway, sell off more than the play is worth to backers, and pocket the cash when the play closes opening night.  A great plan, but this is a comedy so what happens?  The worst musical in the world Springtime for Hitler becomes an instant smash success and the talk of Broadway!

I would have preferred to watch a two hour version of Springtime for Hitler or Police Academy 6: City Under Siege or even receive a caning.  Everything goes wrong here except life doesn’t imitate art and this flop sadly never becomes a hit.  Mel Brooks wrote the roles of Leo and Max specifically for Gene Wilder and Zero Mostel.  Broderick and Lane just can’t fill their shoes.  Even in the best moments of this movie (all three of them) the feeling of “yeah, but that’s still not as good” comes to mind.

Broderick doesn’t have Wilder’s innocence and fragility.  The actor that as a kid pulled off the super confident Ferris Beuller just doesn’t fit the insecure Leo Bloom.  Lane is a little better, though he too is doing more of an impression than his own character.  The whole movie feels like a Saturday Night Live skit based on the original movie rather than a movie of its own.

The story has evolved, changed, and lengthened as Mel Brooks turned it into a play.  Part of the problem was giving the helm to stage director Susan Stroman who never makes the necessary changes to take the Broadway musical and turn it back into a film.  The timing and action of the piece, the sets and musical numbers, all seem out of place on film.

I’ll give you an example of how the new model fails to live up to the original:

After waiting roughly 105 minutes for the curtain to finally rise on Springtime for Hitler (the original is a total of 88 minutes, versus this 134 minute version) what we get is truly disappointing.  In the original the full musical number is performed including cannons, singing Nazis, a choreographed swastika dance, flags and banners.  As the number ends the camera pans to a stunned audience except for one man who is beaten down for his jubliant applause.  The audience starts to leave and is only stopped by LSD’s (Dick Shawn) performance (a character NOT included in this version).  FUNNY!

Lane and Broderick try to hide from
anyone who has seen this film

So what does this version do?  It pans to the audience several times during the opening number showing shock before anything really shocking occurs on stage and the audience actually accepts and applauds before and during the swastika number accepting and appreciating it.  Confusing and UNFUNNY!! 

Also missing is the bar scene where Leo and Bloom’s celebration is cut short by the terror of intermission as they hear the audience praising the play, and the ending that includes the plot to blow up the theater.

The film is full of such changes.  The removal of LSD as a character broadens the one-joke characters of writer Franz Leibkind (Will Farrell) and Roger de Bris (Gary Beach).  Problems start to occur immediately however as the actors are asked to do too much with such limited roles.  The film also makes de Bris and his band into crude, stereotypical, and tasteless gay caricatures.  How bad is it?  The Village People appear (no, that’s not a joke, though I guess Brooks thought it would be).  Farrell is fine as Leibkind but has to improv too much as his character, like all the rest, is on screen too long.

Uma Thurman plays Ulla the Swedish secretary.  She actually is pretty good in the role (though was her make-up person blind? or maybe cross-eyed?).  Her accent comes and goes (especially during the signing numbers) but she comes off better than most of the cast.  Yet here again a one-joke character from the original “Bialystock and Blum, got dag pa dig” is stretched thin in an unecessary lengthy role.

Don’t pay a dime for this; save your money and go out and get the DVD of the original 1968 version of The Producers.  This version is just a waste of a theater that could be showing something better (like Narnia or Kong or a three hour documentary on yeast infections).  Hopefully people will stop trying to remake Wilder’s films now, but I have this horrible fear that I’ll see a new Silver Streak with Owen Wilson and Chris Tucker announced any day now.  Stop trying to ruin the films I love and just get back to making more Hollywood crap that people so enjoy…hey I hear Fantastic Four 2 is on its way.

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