Movie Reviews

Band5slam

  • Title: Bandslam
  • IMDb: link

bandslam-posterBandslam is a cliched, hackneyed, overdone, montage-filled paint-by-numbers tale of teenage angst, love, lessons about life, and triumph.

And yet it’s still better than G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. As unoriginal, and at times truly awful, this film is, it’s also got a little spark which provides moments better than they have any right to be. In no uncertain terms Bandslam is a trainwreck, but it’s a trainwreck with cute young girls, some spirit, and passable music. It’s exactly what you expect a teen musical, made in part by Walden Media, to be.

Band5slam Read More »

G.I. JOE: Rise of CRAP

  • Title: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
  • IMDb: link

gi-joe-rise-of-cobra-posterLet’s get this straight right from the get-go: I had no real expectations with this film except wanting to leave without getting too bored or having the film make my eyes bleed. One out of two isn’t bad. Even with the bar set so low G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra finds a way to slither underneath like champion limbo dancer Hermes Conrad.

Based on a toy line and 80’s television show Rise of Cobra plays like one long Michael Bay action reel (think The Rock, if it were directed by Zack Snyder). It’s got the brains of the old cartoon down cold (ridiculous premise, tons of vehicles and ammunition) but hardly any of its style.

It doesn’t help the Cobra never really exists in this film. Instead we’re given a well-funded unnamed group of terrorists. It is also problematic that the baddie chosen to put center stage isn’t Cobra Commander (almost completely absent from the film), or even the unmasked Destro (Christopher Ecclestion), but the Baroness (Sienna Miller, because I guess Kate Beckinsale was too expensive).

G.I. JOE: Rise of CRAP Read More »

500 Days of Summer (in 500 words)

  • Title: 500 Days of Summer
  • IMDB: link

500-days-of-summer-poster(500) Days of Summer isn’t your typical date movie. In fact, in many ways it’s almost an anti-date film. Through the eyes of Tom Hansen (Joseph Gordon Levitt) we are shown the ups and downs of his relationship with Summer Finn (Zooey Deschanel). Those couples looking for a fun romantic evening should choose this one only if they’re very comfortable and confident in their relationship. Otherwise the evening might turn a little more uncomfortable than what you planned.

Rather than giving us a linear look the script, written by Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber, jumps through the timeline of the relationship for maximum effect. Sometimes this provides hilarious juxtaposition, and at other moments you’re allowed to feel Tom’s pain. To help you follow the timeline title cards and narration (provided by Jean-Paul Vignon) are provided.

Without a doubt it’s the cutest film about a doomed relationship I’ve ever seen. Those who have been involved in love affairs where one side feels more passionately than the other will no doubt understand and empathize with Tom’s plight.

500 Days of Summer (in 500 words) Read More »

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

  • Title: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
  • IMDB: link

Being a Harry Potter fan and a film snob is not easy. Though Chris Columbus’ films were decent, the only adaptation that really worked was 2004’s The Prisoner of Azkaban. With that single concession, we the faithful have just had to sit around and take it from Warner Bros. as they haphazardly adapted the books into competent but lacking films.

On various occasions, I admit, I day-dreamt of getting that phone call offering me the job of directing the next HP feature – which I’d nail and rock the pants off of, obviously. But having just seen The Half-Blood Prince, I’m shocked but very pleased to say that my services were not at all needed on this sixth movie.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Read More »

Public Enemies

  • Title: Public Enemies
  • IMDB: link

public-enemies-posterWell, it’s not my favorite Michael Mann film, and is sure not The Untouchables, but for all it’s faults, Public Enemies is still a fair film filled with some great moments, and it’s worth a good long look.

The story is centered around bank robber extraordinaire John Dillinger (Johnny Depp). We don’t learn much about Dillinger over the course of the film other than he’s the brains of the operation, well respected among other robbers, disliked by the mob for bringing attention on them, and an all around good guy (at least for a robber and murderer).

Rather than give us a character study or a balanced look at both cops and robbers, like he did in Heat, Michael Mann instead shifts the camera to zoom in on how this man’s mere presence affected those around him. The cops, led by (Christian Bale) begin to take shortcuts and cross many important lines in their quest to apprehend their prey. The most gruesome of these is the questioning of Dillinger’s girl (played magnificently by Marion Cotillard) with an old-school cop brutality that isn’t easy to watch.

Public Enemies Read More »