1.5 Razors

The Nut Job

  • Title: The Nut Job
  • IMDB: link

The Nut JobCentered around a selfish squirrel named Surly (Will Arnett) and his mute rat pal Buddy who are exiled from their home in Liberty Park after the squirrel’s latest act of selfishness costs the rest of the animals the much-need food for the winter, The Nut Job is a mess that tries to do far too much (most of it not all that well). There’s a nice message buried deep, deep, deep down, but I’m betting most will lose interest before discovering it.

Set against a human bank robbery, the exiled Surly works with a pair of squirrels, the honest Andie (Katherine Heigl) and the the ridiculous park “hero” Grayson (Brendan Fraser), to make the biggest score of his life by robbing a Nut Store at the same time. Complicating things are the fact that nobody, other than perhaps Andie, is at all likable in the film and the fact that the real villain isn’t the selfish Surly but the power-mad Raccoon (Liam Neeson) running the park who decides to thwart the plan realizing his control may falter if the animals are all happy and fed.

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The Flash Annual #3

The Flash Annual #3The Flash Annual #3 is confusing on a number of levels as the new creative team cement their storyline of a future version of Barry Allen deciding to return to the past and set things right. Introducing us to Wallace “Wally” R. West for the first time its obvious the character has gone through the same New 52 filter that continues to adversely effect several of DC’s once-great heroes.

While I’m fine with DC deciding to change Wally’s ethnicity from Caucasian to African-American, it does create problems for Iris West as even in this issue’s artists Brett Booth and Ron Frenz have trouble deciding just how to draw and shade her color her character consistently. I honestly couldn’t tell you at this point whether Iris is white, black, or green.

Far more troubling is that Wally has gone through the same dickish redesign the makes the New 52 Billy Batson an insufferable prick. This version of the character’s defining attribute seems to be that he’s a street punk in need of a white big brother to set him straight. Jeez.

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I Feel No Need, No Need for Speed

  • Title: Need for Speed
  • IMDB: link

“This ain’t just about racing.”

Need for SpeedNeed for Speed is no Cannonball Run II. You could even argue it’s no Speed Zone (which replaced Burt Reynolds and company with SCTV vets John Candy, Eugene Levy, and Joe Flaherty along with a host of lesser-known stars for a forgettable third Cannonball Run film). Loosely based on the popular video game franchise, Need for Speed stars Aaron Paul as kick-ass small-time racer and mechanic Tobey Marshall whose rivalry with his old girlfriend’s (Dakota Johnson) new boyfriend (Dominic Cooper) ends with him serving two years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit.

Recently released, and with the help of his friends (Scott Mescudi, Rami Malek, Ramon Rodriguez) and a new love interest (Imogen Poots) providing a top-grade car, Tobey will try to settle the score on the road by breaking parole (and dozens of traffic laws) to earn a spot in a super-secret race on the West Coast held annually by a reclusive millionaire (Michael Keaton). To get there, however, he and Julia (Poots) will have to survive the trip across country after his rival posts a bounty to make sure Tobey never makes it to the starting line.

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3 Days to Kill

  • Title: 3 Days to Kill
  • IMDB: link

3 Days to KillIt would be easy to simply call 3 Days to Kill as a bad movie and move on, and I certainly wouldn’t blame anyone one for doing so. The inconsistent thriller concerning the final mission of dying spy Ethan Renner (Kevin Costner) dealing with apartment full of an extended family of squatters, reconnecting with his estranged wife (Connie Nielsen) and daughter (Hailee Steinfeld), and working for a sexy spy (Amber Heard), immediately after promising his wife he was done with the the agency, to find and kill a target known only as The Wolf (Richard Sammel), is one hell of a B-movie mess.

Costner, who has had some notable voice issues earlier this year causing him to pull out of planned appearances, could give Christian Bale‘s gruff Batman voice a run for its money with his gravel monotone performance here. Despite making assurances he’s given up the life, and without explaining to his wife and daughter how killing dozens of people where they live in Paris might come back to haunt them, Renner agrees to slowly kill his way to The Wolf and his top lieutenant The Albino (Tómas Lemarquis).

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Batman and Two-Face #26

Batman and Two-Face #26Continuing the “Big Burn” storyline Bruce Wayne attempts to talk some sense into Erin McKillen before the would-be crime boss he broke out of prison (under the guise of Matches Malone) and Two-Face take their vendetta to an entirely new level.

In more flashbacks to the series of events which led McKillen and Two-Face to their present war, Batman and Two-Face #26 offers a look at the death of Erin’s twin-sister Shannon (which has to be, without a shadow of doubt, the dumbest prison escape plan in the history of the written word). Letting her sister commit suicide (because in Gotham where everyone is on the take there was no plan that made a lick of sense), we see the horrifically stupid series of events that ended one sister’s life and has led the other obsessed with Harvey Dent’s death.

Although the comic has some nice moments, especially in the early scenes between Bruce and Erin, the flashbacks are so unbelievably dumb it wouldn’t surprise me if everyone who read this issue lost a couple of IQ points. Pass.

[DC, $2.99]

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