1.5 Razors

My Life in Ruins (after watching this movie)

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: My Life in Ruins
  • IMDB: link

Aside from the beautiful scenery, and a few nice moments from Richard Drefus (who’s really slumming it here), there’s very little to separate My Life in Ruins from any number of braindead romatic comedies. Here’s one of those films where a character notices the love of her life under her nose, finds meaning in her demeaning job, and everything ends happily ever after for everyone (except the audience).

When the film isn’t throwing out contrived plot points like candy, and simply allows the actors to give some actual weight to their characters, there are slight glimmers at what this film could have been. Sadly, these moments are few and far between.

Nia Vardolas stars as Georgia, a disgruntled travel guide. She hates her job, she hates the people she works with, she hates her rundown tour bus, and she hates her tourists who are a collection of cliches you are much more likely to find in a movie like this than on an actual tour bus.

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I want to know what happened to Alex Proyas

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Knowing
  • IMDB: link

knowing-posterAlex Proyas is responsible for the sci-fi noir thriller Dark City (a film which I love to no end). Nicholas Cage, despite having a career which I kindly refer to as spotty, has made some enjoyable flicks over the years, and even picked up an Oscar.

The fact that this combination produced a movie such as Knowing can be met with nothing more or less than puzzled bewilderment and great sadness. I might expect something like this from a team-up with M. Night and Eric Dane, but c’mon! Ignorance truly is bliss; sometimes it’s better not to know.

The plot goes something like this, 50 years ago a creepy little school girl who heard whispered voices (this is one of those films where the voices are real, and always right) wrote a letter containing a series of numbers (which turns out to be a series of dates and exact GPS coordinates to many future disasters) which found itself into the school’s time capsule.

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I watched the Watchmen

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: The Watchmen
  • IMDb: link

watchmen-poster

As a self-professed comic book nerd you can bet I’ve read Watchmen a few times and keep an Absolute Edition within easy reach. I will also admit I didn’t read the series when it hit shelves in the late eighties. It took a few years for Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ work to find itself into my hands. Perhaps its because I first read the graphic novel as an adult that I can look at it through a different filter than something like Star Wars, Transformers, or Batman, and I can separate my appreciation for the subject without childhood wonder coloring my opinion.

Although it brings to life several moments of the comic in vivid detail, and includes a superb performance by Jackie Earl Haley as Rorshach, it also condenses, mangles, and distorts the tale into a movie that only slightly resembles the comic. And for a movie which is style over substance it adds very little in terms of look or technology. The most memorable shots are either taken directly from the page or borrowed from better films (such as a war room eerily similar to that of Dr. Strangelove) you would rather be watching.

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Sorry, I’m just not that into you

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: He’s Just Not That Into You
  • IMDB: link

hes-just-not-that-into-you-posterHe’s Just Not That Into You starts out with some promise, but, as romcoms are prone to do, falls prey to contrivance and the inevitable happy ending which is cuter than a basket of newborn kittens. Adapted from a self-help book the film does take a (at least occasionally) funny look at how women regard relationships in a mostly twisted and illogical way.

The plot centers around a group of romantically challenged individuals including a loving longtime couple (Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston) dealing with the question of marriage, a quirky young woman (Ginnifer Goodwin) who can’t seem to find a guy, Justin Long as the nice-jerk you find in films like this with an encyclopedic knowledge of women’s bad relationship habits, a real estate agent (Kevin Connolly) in love with a Yoga instructor (Scarlett Johansson) who is more infatuated with a guy she met in a grocery store whose wife (Jennifer Connelly) keeps his balls in her purse. Oh, and I forgot Drew Barrymore (and so does the film for large stretches) as woman trying to find romance online surrounded by the trademark swishy gay friends who have nothing better to do than help their hetero pals find love.

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