1.5 Razors

Sorry, I’m just not that into you

  • Title: He’s Just Not That Into You
  • IMDB: link

hes-just-not-that-into-you-posterHe’s Just Not That Into You starts out with some promise, but, as romcoms are prone to do, falls prey to contrivance and the inevitable happy ending which is cuter than a basket of newborn kittens. Adapted from a self-help book the film does take a (at least occasionally) funny look at how women regard relationships in a mostly twisted and illogical way.

The plot centers around a group of romantically challenged individuals including a loving longtime couple (Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston) dealing with the question of marriage, a quirky young woman (Ginnifer Goodwin) who can’t seem to find a guy, Justin Long as the nice-jerk you find in films like this with an encyclopedic knowledge of women’s bad relationship habits, a real estate agent (Kevin Connolly) in love with a Yoga instructor (Scarlett Johansson) who is more infatuated with a guy she met in a grocery store whose wife (Jennifer Connelly) keeps his balls in her purse. Oh, and I forgot Drew Barrymore (and so does the film for large stretches) as woman trying to find romance online surrounded by the trademark swishy gay friends who have nothing better to do than help their hetero pals find love.

Sorry, I’m just not that into you Read More »

Third Time Punishes the Audience Some More

  • Title: Punisher: War Zone
  • IMDB: link

Punisher: War Zone is the third attempt to bring the Marvel character to life in a live-action film.  It’s the best Punisher film yet, of course that’s kind of like being the coma patient with the strongest pulse.  The bar may not be set that high but Frank Castle still finds a way to impale himself on it.  Move over Hancock, you are no longer the worst comic book movie of the year.

“Who punishes you?”

Let’s start with the good, shall we?  Ray Steveson is the third, and best cast, actor to take on the role of Frank Castle.  In this latest version Frank is a former military officer whose family was gunned down when they witnessed a mob hit.  Only Frank survived.  Now, as the Punisher, Castle hunts down all members of organized crime in his never-ending quest for vengeance.

The latest name of his hitlist (Dominic West) gets himself thrown in a big vat-like glass recycler (Joker, anyone?) and is reborn as the tattered faced Jigsaw.

When the film plays it straight it works okay, although the scenes where the Punisher takes down rooms (or buildings) full of baddies who stand around waiting for him to first kill the guy next to him before taking action gets a bid old.  I also liked the conflict within Frank over accidentally widowing the wife of an undercover agent (Julie Benz).  There are pieces here which in better hands could have given us a halfway decent film.

Third Time Punishes the Audience Some More Read More »

Australia, The Movie That Wouldn’t End

  • Title: Australia
  • IMDB: link

Australia is a mess; it’s at times a pretty mess, but a mess nonetheless.  The seemingly endless tale of a dover and an aristocrat, and a Aboriginal child, and an evil cattle baron and his evil assistant, of cattle drives and social conventions, and so much more, would have been better suited for a mini-series than a single feature film.  Instead we get at least 12 hours of plot cut together into a 3 hour movie.  The result is less than spectacular.

Where to begin?  Director and co-writer Baz Luhrmann gives us an epic (in time though not scope) tale about Australia.  Over the course of nearly 3 hours we follow the troubles and tribulations of our main characters, plus many side tales, until finally it all mercifully comes to an end.

Australia, The Movie That Wouldn’t End Read More »

Payneful

  • Title: Max Payne
  • IMDB: link

“I don’t believe in heaven.”

Sometimes I think the best job in the world would be as a writer for video games.  The plots don’t have to make sense, you don’t have to worry about logic or character development and the story is always a distant third to gameplay and effects.  If this is true then the hardest job around just might be the guy who has to take the nonsensical storyline of a video game and attempt to turn it into a feature film.  The result, more often than not, is something like Max Payne

The film is based on the Max Payne video game, so stay with me as I attempt to explain the plot.

Max Payne (Mark Wahlberg) is a police detective assigned as a file clerk to the Cold Case room in the bowels of the department.  Mostly Max looks angry/constipated as he sits at his desk going over files and in his spare time tries to solve the murder of his wife (Marianthi Evans) and daughter.

Payneful Read More »

Doll Domination

  • Title: The Pussycat Dolls – Doll Domination

The Pussycat Dolls’ second studio album contains 16 tracks on one disc.  The first single released from the album “When I Grow Up” hit #1 on Billboard’s Hot Dance Club Play.  Also included here ae “Bottle Pop,” “Takin’ Over the World,” “Happily Never After,” “I’m Done,” and “Whatcha Think About That” featuring Missy Elliott.

Doll Domination Read More »