2.5 Razors

Tom Cruise vs. The Mummy and Her Zombie Horde

  • Title: The Mummy (2017)
  • IMDb: link

The Mummy movie reviewIt’s been more than eighty years since the first Mummy movie was released by Universal Pictures. Over the years the studio has put out other versions of the story, most recently with the increasingly disappointing films starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz. With The Mummy not only does the studio hope to reboot the entire franchise but use the film to relaunch several of their other classic movie monster properties as part of their new interconnected Dark Universe.

From the first trailer I thought this looked like a trainwreck. Although it proves to be more entertaining than expected, I certainly wasn’t wrong. The bar for horror is pretty low, and the film does provide its share of fun even as it struggles with plot and pacing.

The movie opens by awkwardly jumping around several years and locales before finally settling in during modern day with a pair of soldiers (Tom Cruise, Jake Johnson) seeking a hidden treasure in Iraq. Let’s just say they unearth more than they bargained for. With the help of archaeologist Jenny Halsey (Sofia Boutella), whose connection to the U.S. Military is never really explained, the pair unearth the tomb of a forgotten queen of Egypt.

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Shadowhunters – Mea Maxima Culpa

  • Title: Shadowhunters – Mea Maxima Culpa
  • wiki: link

Shadowhunters - Mea Maxima Culpa #tvreview

The end of the regular TV season and the slow roll-out of summer premieres has led me to give Shadowhunters another chance. Nothing has changed much since I last checked in on the show. Despite being captrued by the Institute Valentine (Alan Van Sprang) continues to scheme about collecting all the Mortal Instruments, the Institute remains remarkably dim when it comes to listening to its prize students, and Clary (Katherine McNamara) and Jace‘s (Dominic Sherwood) relationship hasn’t gotten any less complicated now that they apparently aren’t siblings (umm…what?). There are a few new storylines since I last peeked in, the first involves the new threat of the greater demon Azazel (Brett Donahue) wreaking havoc in the world and Isabelle‘s (Emeraude Toubia) addiction to vampire venom putting her in danger and meeting a new friend in a London Shadowhunter named Sebastian (Will Tudor).

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5 Film Collection: Sci-Fi

  • Title: I Am Legend, Gravity, Midnight Special, Jupiter Ascending, The Book of Eli
  • IMDb: link
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5 Film Collection: Sci-Fi DVD reviewThe highlight of this three-disc set is Alfonso Cuarón‘s Gravity. While similar to Avatar in the movie experience isn’t quite complete outside of an IMAX 3D theater, the compelling look at an astronaut’s (Sandra Bullock) struggle for survival following tragedy high above Earth was compelling enough to earn the #2 spot on my best of 2013 list.

The rest of the collection certainly isn’t up to that standard. However, Midnight Special is a solid film about a father (Michael Shannon) attempting to look out for his son (Jaeden Lieberher) who a cult wants for the boy’s mysterious gifts.

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Baywatch

  • Title: Baywatch
  • IMDb: link

Baywatch movie review

Based on the 90s television show not good enough for network television which earned a following in syndication by providing soap opera style plots that often had little to do with the characters’ actual jobs of lifeguards, comes a new feature film version of the franchise. Dumb, almost entirely forgettable (I can’t name a single plot from the show either), and mostly an excuse to put beautiful people in swimsuits and have then run around on-camera, the movie is exactly what you’d expect.

With a generic script which could have been easily adapted from any number of other properties, the set-up is fairly simple. Former Olympic swimmer turned failed human being Matt Brody (a ripped Zac Efron) arrives on the beach as one of the lifeguards’ new recruits. The others include the underdeveloped Summer Quinn (Alexandra Daddario) and the goofy comic relief Ronnie Greenbaum (Jon Bass). While Brody immediately clashes with the lifeguard leader Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne “It’s Okay to Call Me The Rock Again” Johnson), Ronnie is given his own subplot involving his attraction to the beautiful C.J. (Kelly Rohrbach).

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A Four-Course Meal of Pretentious White Privilege

  • Title: The Dinner
  • IMDb: link

The Dinner movie review

Writer/director Oren Moverman‘s film, based on the novel by Herman Koch, is a claustrophobic acting exercise that would seem to be more at home on stage than in a movie theater. The film centers around four unlikable people brought together at a ridiculously posh restaurant discussing, or rather talking around and avoiding discussing, events of recent days concerning a horrible act committed by the two couples’ teenage sons. The more time we spend with the two couples and their sons the less likely we are to care what happens to anyone involved.

Our cast includes Congressman Stan Lohman (Richard Gere) and his second wife Katelyn (Rebecca Hall), the politician’s brother Paul (Steve Coogan), a former teacher suffering from some form of early-onset dementia, and his wife Claire (Laura Linney). Other characters come and go including various wait staff (Michael Chernus, among others), Stan’s ex-wife (Chloë Sevigny), and the politician’s aides (most notably Adepero Oduye), but everyone aside from these four core characters (including the flashbacks to the boys themselves) prove to be superfluous to the plot.

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