2.5 Razors

Tonto (and The Lone Ranger)

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: The Lone Ranger
  • IMDB: link

The Lone RangerAfter some success taming the high seas, director Gore Verbinski and Johnny Depp reunite for this new interpretation of The Lone Ranger. The meandering 149-minute tale is more than a little liberal in its depiction of the Masked Man and his faithful Indian companion. Those looking for a classic western may be disappointed as Verbinski’s The Lone Ranger is an action-adventure similar to the Pirates of the Caribbean that just happens to be set in the Old West.

The entire film is framed from Tonto’s (Depp) perspective, as a far older version of the character (Depp in some pretty good old-age makeup) relates the legend of The Lone Ranger to a young boy (Mason Cook) at a Wild West show. Much like The Princess Bride, at times the tale is interrupted for more interaction between the narrator and his captive young audience. The choice to give us the legend from a trusted, but not necessarily trustworthy, source and allows us to choose how much of Tonto’s story to believe.

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Die Hard in the White House (with a kid)

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: White House Down
  • IMDB: link

White House DownAfter the initial success of Die Hard there was a time when every movie studio was trying to cash in on the concept of a great action star (usually a cop or specially trained soldier) in the wrong place at the wrong time and forced to save the day (which almost always also included endangered hostages and some kind of robbery or cash grab). We got Die Hard on a plane, Die Hard on a boat, Die Hard on a bus, Die Hard on a train, and so on. More than 25 years later Hollywood still hasn’t given up on the formula.

Much like Olympus Has Fallen, released earlier this year, White House Down offers us a story of a terrorist attack on Washington D.C. and the capture of the White House, the President of the United States, and several high ranking members of the United States Government. Where Antoine Fuqua‘s film struggled to be Michael Bay-style action porn, director Roland Emmerich‘s movie has a far better sense of humor and an understanding of the complete ridiculousness of its entire premise. Don’t get me wrong, the movie is dumb as dirt at times, but at least it knows this.

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Futurama – T.: The Terrestrial

/ / Television Reviews
  • Title: Futurama – T.: The Terrestrial
  • tv.com: link

Futurama - T.: The Terrestrial

After Lrr (Maurice LaMarche) pressures his son Jrr (Lauren Tom) into getting a planetary invasion merit badge by landing on Earth, forcing Nixon (Billy West) and Zapp Brannigan (West) to surrender, and destroying headless Agnew’s body, Nixon calls for a complete planetary embargo with Omicron Persei 8.

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XIII – Battlezone

/ / Television Reviews
  • Title: XIII – Battlezone
  • tv.com: link

XIII - Battlezone

XIII‘s Second Season comes to a close with XIII (Stuart Townsend) and Betty (Roxane Mesquida) stranded in China and XIII ordered by President Carrington (Stephen McHattie) to shut down the Chinese controlled HEARPE weapon once and for all. Rendezvousing with Barnabis (Rob Ramsay) in the Yunnan Province, the group uses his expertise to locate Dr. Ming Tang (Kerry Lai Fatt) who offers XIII the best chance to destroy the weapon with a Trojan Barnabis creates to give XIII control of the mainframe, if he can get close enough to upload it.

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Batman and Batgirl #21

/ / Comics

Batman and Batgirl #21Batman and Robin continues to cover an out-of-control Batman dealing with the death of Damian we aren’t seeing much of in the other Bat-titles. The latest issue brings in Batgirl, who has removed the Bat-emblem from her costume, to try and talk some sense into Batman whose ice-cold demeanor and brutality has begun to scare everyone, even her.

The first-half of the comic is more about Batgirl than Batman. We even get a full page of Barbara working through trying to tell her father what went wrong with James Jr. without having the courage to actually speak to him. Witnessing the ruthlessness of Batman taking down an group of armed robbers, Batgirl decides to confront Batman in the Batcave and try one more time to talk some sense into the man.

The confrontation between Batgirl and Batman in the cave is interesting, but isn’t hardly the tact someone as smart as Barbara would use. I do like her offer of wearing the Robin costume, but its stuck in the middle of an out-of-control argument that has no hope of reaching Batman. Hit-and-Miss.

[DC, $2.99]

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