3.5 Razors

When Soccer Ruled the World (Including the USA)

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Once in a Lifetime: The Extraordinary Story of the New York Cosmos
  • IMDb: link

once-in-a-lifetime-poster

The film focuses on the rise, short glory, and disastrous fall, of the New York Cosmos – the first, and maybe last, great soccer team in American history.  Founded by Steve Ross, the Cosmos were the first Dream Team to play on American soil.  With soccer greats Pele, Franz Beckenbauer, and Giorgio Chinaglia, they broke into the minds and hearts of New Yorkers and across America.

Narrated by Matt Dillon the film takes a look at the barren soccer landscape of America in the early 1970’s and the one man who tried to change it single-handedly.  Warner Bros. Chairman Steve Ross had a dream, and his dream was soccer in America.  To get that dream he brought the biggest stars of the day to America and made soccer into a national story.

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Festival of Beer

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Beerfest
  • IMDb: link

After the death of their grandfather (Donald Sutherland), two brothers (Paul Soter, Erik Stolhanske) travel to Germany with his ashes.  There they discover the secret underground competition known as Beerfest.  Teams of five from countries around the world compete in different events to crowned champions every year.

After being humiliated and thrown out of the competition, the pair decide to put together their own American team and return a year later to kick some ass.  They round-up three old friends (Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Jay Chandrasekhar), each with a specific beer related skill, and spend the next twelve months training (and getting really drunk).

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Wait Until You Hear About the Mascot

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Accepted
  • IMDB: link

accepted-posterIf you liked movies like Waiting…, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Risky Business, and Van Wilder, then you should give Accepted a shot.  It’s a little of all of those movies, and others, rolled into one.  But what makes it different is the humorous AND seriousness with which it discusses our educational system – and that it has something to say, unlike most teen comedies these days, rather than just show.

Unable to find a college who will accept him, Bartleby Gaines (Justin Long) decides to create one instead.  With the help of his friends (Jonah Hill, Columbus Short, Maria Thayer) he creates a web page, leases a rundown mental hospital, hires a former educator to be their dean (Lewis Black), and thus creates the South Harmon Institute of Technology.  His parents seem convinced and he and his friends sit down to party all summer long.

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Barnyard

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  • Title: Barnyard: The Original Party Animals
  • IMDb: link

Have you ever wondered what animals do when humans aren’t looking?  The answer Barnyard: The Original Party Animals suggests includes quite a bit of human-style partying and misadventure. 

Otis the cow (Kevin James) is the most popular member of the barnyard.  His crazy antics and love of fun with his friends Pip the mouse (Jeffrey Garcia), Freddy the ferret (Cam Clarke), and Pig the, uh, pig (Tino Insana), include surfing the local hills, “boy tipping” a local young ne’er-do-well (Steve Oedekerk), and throwing huge parties every night in the barn behind the back of neighbors Famer Beady (Oedekerk) and his nosey wife (Maria Bamford). 

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A Prairie Home Companion

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: A Prairie Home Companion
  • IMDb: link

Garrison Keillor and Robert Altman do a very good job of showing the final day of the small radio show before the curtain is pulled down for good.  However when the film leaves the story for subplots involving an angel or the corporate hatchet man, it losses the feel and warmth that is so integral to making the rest of the film work.  The end result is a very good film that had it been handled a little different could have been great.

The film centers on an old time radio show that continues to broadcast in present day oblivious to the fact that time may well have past them by.  The performers are like a large dysfunctional but loving family that on this night, the final night the show will be broadcast, say goodbye.

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