3 Razors

It’s Alive!

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Monster House
  • IMDB: link

monster-house-posterYou want to know where Hollywood sees its money coming from?  Take a minute to ponder the following.  Five years ago this film would have debuted in October.  Now it’s put out in mid-summer so the DVD can be ready for Halloween?  To paraphrase The Buggles – “Has DVD killed the theatrical film?”

When a particularly cranky and evil old man (Steve Buscemi) has a heart attack and is rushed to the hospital, his house seems to take a life all its own taking revenge on the children of the neighborhood who it holds responsible for the situation.  With only days left before Halloween, it’s left to three young children to stop the evil monster house before it can devour all the young trick-or-treaters.

DJ (Mitchel Musso) is the brave one and Chowder (Sam Lerner) is the dumb but entertaining best friend.  They team-up with smart girl Jenny (Spencer Locke), who they barely save from the house’s hunger.  But as they battle the house they learn its deep dark secrets and find there’s more to the story than they realized.

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A Jay and Silent Bob Movie?

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
  • IMDb: link

“A Jay and Silent Bob movie; who would pay to see that?”

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

After discovering that a movie is being made from the comic book based off their misadventures, Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) travel cross country to stop the film from being made.  Along the way they meet a hitchhiker (George Carlin), a nun (Carrie Fisher), and a lesbian gang of thieves (Shannon Elizabeth, Ali Larter, Eliza Dushku, Jennifer Schwalbach).  The girls steal diamonds using the clueless duo of stoners for dupes.

With an orangutan they stole from an animal testing center, Jay and Silent Bob try to make their way to Hollywood staying one-step in front of Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly (Will Ferrell) and a host of policemen (including an almost unrecognizable Judd Nelson) who are hot on their trail.

The film brings back several character from the previous View Askew films.  From Clerks we get the Quick Stop along with Dante (Brian O’Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson).  From Mallrats we get Brodie (Jason Lee) who now owns his own comic book shop (the shop used for the film is Kevin Smith’s own place in Redbank, NJ – Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash).  From Chasing Amy we get Holen (Ben Affleck), Spanky (Jason Lee), Alyssa (Joey Lauren Adams), and Hooper (Dwight Ewell).

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A Jay and Silent Bob Movie? Read More »

Jersey Girl

/ / Home Video
  • Title: Jersey Girl
  • IMDb: link

It’s no Gigli, thank goodness, it is something much much better. Given just about anything is better than Gigli, except for Battlefield Earth. Ben Affleck has redeemed himself with his female audience. After Gigli and the whole Bennifer fiasco, Jersey Girl is a pleasant cuddly film that many can enjoy. Ben you are forgiven! Kevin Smith steps out of his crazy cult film attire, puts Jay and Silent Bob in a closet, and tries on a more wholesome and grown up approach to movie making. Kevin admits it’s because of his new found experiences of being a father himself that has led him down this road.

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Dumb but fun “Pirates”

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
  • IMDB: link

dead-mans-chest-poster-2It’s July, and the most exciting movie to have come out this summer has been The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. Don’t get me wrong, I was along for the ride when it came out last month; but this is summer, and we should be bombarded with more action than the Playboy Mansion.  Where’s that movie that you can’t get yourself to leave for the restroom after drinking a gallon of Cherry Coke from the consession stand, even though you’re pretty sure it will cause some sort of internal combustion by the time the credits role?

Now it’s here, and it’s called Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. It doesn’t quite threaten audiences’ bladders like you might hope it will, but in this summer of Poseidon and X-Men: The Last Stand, it feels pretty damn good to be able to escape to the cinemas from the dead heat of summer into a decent action flick for the first time this year.

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Dumb but fun “Pirates” Read More »

Superman Remade

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Superman Returns
  • IMDb: link

superman-returns-poster

What’s with Hollywood and rubberized super hero suits?  Is there some kind of run on cloth?  Did they buy it all in bulk a few years ago and have to use it all up before buying something new?  Anyway…

Superman Returns isn’t a great super hero flick, but it does have charm and heart which left me happy, though not ecstatic, with the outcome.  Given its similarities, it’s impossible to not compare it to Donner’s original, and find it wanting.  Still, in a summer that’s given us X-Men: The Last Stand and Nacho Libre this Superman looks damn good.

Five years ago (sometime not long after the events of Superman II) Earth’s scientists found the remains of Krypton and, without saying his goodbyes, Superman left his adopted home.  As the movie opens Superman (Brandon Routh) crashes back to Earth on the Kent farm.  After a brief talk with Ma Kent (Eva Marie Saint – very nice casting choice!) Clark returns to Metropolis and his life as a reporter for the Daily Planet.

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