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The Transformers have Fallen and they can’t get up

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
  • IMDB: link

transformers-revenge-of-the-fallen-posterI hated Michael Bay’s first Transformers, and this second installment is more of the same only longer, louder, sleazier, and (if possible) dumber.

Part Deux is filled with lazy humor, cheap gags (such as multiple shots of humping dogs and robots), a confusing and ridiculous plot (which is so inane characters twice have to stop and explain it not only to us but each other), big, though not too impressive, special effects, and little else. It’s obvious that Bay and screenwriters Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci, and Alex Kurtzman love robots (wait, it took three of you to write this movie?). What isn’t obvious is if they give two shits about Transformers, or their fans.

Once again we’re given a plot which has more to do with Sam (Shia LaBeouf) learning a life-lesson and Megan Fox looking hot than Autobots or Decepticons. In fact the Decepticons aren’t even the big baddie here, it’s the Fallen. What is the Fallen? Well, you see, he’s one of a race of seven Primes, ancient Transformer brothers… (the sound you just heard was me dying a little inside).

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The Transformers have Fallen and they can’t get up Read More »

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
  • IMDB: link

taking-of-pelham-123-posterAs a director Tony Scott is a bit hit (Domino, Spy Game) and miss (Deja Vu, Enemy of the State) for my tastes. His latest, The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3, is not the first movie to be adapted from the novel by Morton Freedgood, but does showcase Scott’s trademark style.

I had planned to sit down and watch the original before hitting the screening for the new remake, but couldn’t quite find the time. So I can’t tell you how the film measures up to 1974 film with Walter Matthau. What I can tell you is the film delivers your basic “Die Hard in a subway” scenario, with smart crooks, mostly dumb cops, and a twist or two as well.

Our protagonist this time isn’t a hero. He isn’t John McClane in the wrong place at the wrong time. Denzel Washington stars as Walter Garber, a lifer in the subway bureaucracy who has been demoted pending the outcome of an investigation into his ethics. That puts the unlucky Walter at the dispatch desk when the call comes in that terrorists have taken control of a subway car with 19 hostages and are demanding $10,000,000 which must be delivered in one hour.

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The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 Read More »

Monsters vs. Aliens

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Monsters vs. Aliens
  • IMDB: link

monsters-vs-aliens-posterFinally some truth in advertising. From the title alone you should know whether Monsters vs. Aliens is going to be your cup of tea. Do you want to see animated monsters fight animated aliens? If so, here’s your chance.

Susan Murphy’s (Reese Witherspoon) wedding day is ruined when the power from a strange asteroid makes her grow into a 50-foot woman. For her own safety she is detained by the government and sent to a top-secret lab to be housed with other monsters including the not so bright blob B.O.B. (Seth Rogen), the half-bug/half-man mad scientist Dr. Cockroach (Hugh Laurie), the Missing Link (Will Arnett), and the massive Insectasoris.

The monsters are released by General W.R. Monger (Kiefer Sutherland, in a pretty forgettable role), and offered their freedom for their assistance when an alien Squidbilly (Rainn Wilson) attacks the planet looking for the powerful meteorite and not caring who he has to kill to get it.

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The Tale of Despereaux

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: The Tale of Despereaux
  • IMDB: link

If Dumbo were a mouse he might look like Despereaux.  Adapted from the Newberry Award winning children’s book by Kate DiCamillo our little hero, the bravest mouse in the world, takes a bit of a light-hearted and bloodless (don’t expect to see in mouse tails cut off here) jump to the big screen.  The result is a so-so movie which hints and teases at more than the animated action-adventure we receive, but never delivers.

“Reader, you must know that an interesting fate awaits almost everyone, mouse or man, who does not conform.”

There is a skill to adapting a book into a movie.  The rise and fall of action in a series of chapters often doesn’t translate directly to screen and the necessary beats of a feature film.

The Tale of Despereaux isn’t a bad film.  It’s got an all-star cast, sharp animation, and a lovable protagonist.  It also has too many characters, a convoluted plot, and a less than satisfying ending.

It’s 20+ minutes into the film before we even meet young Despereaux (Matthew Broderick), a small mouse with a big heart who takes instantly the notion of chivalry.  Despereaux doesn’t fit into a society that wants mice to cower and run; he dreams of adventure, and even doodles drawings of cats.

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Third Time Punishes the Audience Some More

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Punisher: War Zone
  • IMDB: link

Punisher: War Zone is the third attempt to bring the Marvel character to life in a live-action film.  It’s the best Punisher film yet, of course that’s kind of like being the coma patient with the strongest pulse.  The bar may not be set that high but Frank Castle still finds a way to impale himself on it.  Move over Hancock, you are no longer the worst comic book movie of the year.

“Who punishes you?”

Let’s start with the good, shall we?  Ray Steveson is the third, and best cast, actor to take on the role of Frank Castle.  In this latest version Frank is a former military officer whose family was gunned down when they witnessed a mob hit.  Only Frank survived.  Now, as the Punisher, Castle hunts down all members of organized crime in his never-ending quest for vengeance.

The latest name of his hitlist (Dominic West) gets himself thrown in a big vat-like glass recycler (Joker, anyone?) and is reborn as the tattered faced Jigsaw.

When the film plays it straight it works okay, although the scenes where the Punisher takes down rooms (or buildings) full of baddies who stand around waiting for him to first kill the guy next to him before taking action gets a bid old.  I also liked the conflict within Frank over accidentally widowing the wife of an undercover agent (Julie Benz).  There are pieces here which in better hands could have given us a halfway decent film.

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Third Time Punishes the Audience Some More Read More »