Science Fiction

I want to know what happened to Alex Proyas

  • Title: Knowing
  • IMDB: link

knowing-posterAlex Proyas is responsible for the sci-fi noir thriller Dark City (a film which I love to no end). Nicholas Cage, despite having a career which I kindly refer to as spotty, has made some enjoyable flicks over the years, and even picked up an Oscar.

The fact that this combination produced a movie such as Knowing can be met with nothing more or less than puzzled bewilderment and great sadness. I might expect something like this from a team-up with M. Night and Eric Dane, but c’mon! Ignorance truly is bliss; sometimes it’s better not to know.

The plot goes something like this, 50 years ago a creepy little school girl who heard whispered voices (this is one of those films where the voices are real, and always right) wrote a letter containing a series of numbers (which turns out to be a series of dates and exact GPS coordinates to many future disasters) which found itself into the school’s time capsule.

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The Force isn’t strong with this one

  • Title: Fanboys
  • IMDB: link

fanboys-kristen-bell-posterI’m a self-admitted and unabashed fan of Star Wars and, as such, I really wanted to love Fanboys. Sigh. Sadly it felt like too many people screwed with this cute little project about Star Wars fans until the result was something jumbled and broken, which, is of course, what happened.

The film follows the reunion of young used car salesmen Eric (Sam Huntington) with his old pals (Chris Marquette, Dan Fogler, Jay Baruchel, and Kristen Bell) still rocking to Star Wars years later and counting down the hours and minutes to Episode I: The Phantom Menace. After discovering Linus (Marquette) is dying of cancer and won’t live to see the premiere, Eric and his pals decide to storm the Skywalker Ranch and steal a rough-cut of the film.

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I can think of a more appropriate four-letter title

  • Title: Push
  • IMDB: link

push-posterAs a critic you see quite a few movies that make you wonder, “What we’re they thinking?” Push, in all its convoluted whacked-out banality, is just such a film. The overwhelming reaction from the audience at the screening I attended can be summed up as “Huh?” (that is those who hadn’t fallen asleep before the end).

Hey, I’m not saying you’ve got to hold my hand through the entire movie, but how about having it make more sense than a random collection of clips taken out of order from any random sci-fi/action flick?

Just a suggestion.

The film (preceded by the lackluster comic of the same name) introduces us to those in the world with special powers. How did they receive these powers you ask? I’m glad you asked. Were they born with them due to some genetic mutation or evolutionary process? Granted them as a piece of some divine plan? Are they aliens sent from a dying world in hopes of a better life? Nope. Nazis.

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The Day the Earth Stood Still. Or Not. Whatever.

  • Title: The Day the Earth Stood Still
  • IMDB: link

So I caught the press screening for The Day the Earth Stood Still remake on Tuesday, and while I would very much love to be able to tell you unequivocally that it’s a terrible, terrible attempt at a modern update of a beloved sci-fi classic I’ll confess that it’s just a little sad and disappointing. More than anything I felt slightly embarrassed for the film, as it was much like watching the not-really-that-bright kid in class who tries REALLY hard but still can’t wrap his brain around the science concept, let alone explain it in a presentation in front of the class.

Let’s get this out of the way first and foremost: I’m rather fond of Keanu Reeves. Intellectually I realize that he is at best a limited actor, but I just like the guy. That’s probably got more than a little something to do with the fact that on one hot August night in 1999 I spent the better part of my time signing autographs for the guy at a festival show Dogstar headlined with a band I was working with. While I’m the first guy to admit that Reeves is by far a more attractive man than yours truly, the confusion was mostly due to less than attentive fans and one very impish guitar tech who insisted to every fan that yes, I was Keanu Reeves. It probably didn’t help that I was wearing all black, had close-cropped short black hair, and was easily visible backstage. So for anyone at the Kansas City River Market Dogstar show in August of 1999 still possessing an autograph signed ‘Avoid the clap! – Keanu‘ or ‘Be Cool, Stay in School! – Keanu‘ I’m terribly sorry. Also, you’re an idiot, because that day he was wearing ratty jeans, and orange t-shirt and had a 3-week beard.

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City of Ember

  • Title: City of Ember
  • IMDB: link

“In the city of Ember, the sky was always dark.  The city of Ember was old, and everything in it, including the power lines, was in need of repair.”

Hollywood has a thing for kids saving the day.  From Hoot to WarGames, in films it seems the only ones paying attention to upcoming disaster are the next generation.  In this same vein comes City of Ember.

For more than 200 years the city of Ember has substained life.  Now the generator which keeps the underground city lit has begun to fail and it falls to two young tweens (Saorise Ronan, Harry Treadway) to save the day.

Like most films about kids saving the world the film is a bit of a mixed bag.  The story, adapted from the Jeanne DuPrau novel, allows for some imaginative set design teen adventure, but doesn’t offer much more than an amusing ride.

Over the course of the tale we learn that children pick their life-long professions out of a sack at the age of 12, the mayor (Bill Murray) knows more about the increasing power losses than he’s saying, and that most adults (as in most films like this) have absolutely no idea what is going on.

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