Every now and again the RF staff, with the occasional help of some friends, gives you, our loyal RF viewers, short (but sweet) lists on all kinds of interesting things. With the release of his latest film Street Kings tomorrow (make sure you check back for our review) we look back at the 6 most excellent films and 6 most bogus movies from the career of Ted “Theodore” Logan, better known as Keanu Reeves.
The Most Excellent and Most Bogus Movies of Keanu Reeves
N/A
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure – Alex Winter and Reeves star as Bill and Ted, a pair of misfits who will one day create a band which will unite all of humanity and create an Utopian future. Right now however their in danger of flunking out of high school. Approached by a man from the future (George Carlin) with a time machine that looks line a phone booth the pair travel through time abducting historical figures for a school presentation. A cheesy good time filled with many memorable lines including “Noah’s wife?,” “Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K,” “Sounds good Mr. The Kid,” “Napoleon was a short, dead, dude,” and “You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed!”
The Matrix – “Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.” Reeves stars as Neo, a computer programmer who learns his entire reality is only a computer simulation known as The Matrix. Although its sequels don’t fair nearly as well this opening chapter kicks some serious ass with a darn good sci-fi story, some cool kung fu, great effects, big fight scenes, and even throws in some philosophy and a nice love story.
Constantine – I know people who don’t like Constantine, but for a B-movie based off one of the longest running, yet still largely unknown, comics around, it works for me. Reeves stars as John Constantine a man who hunts down demons and sends them back to Hell in hopes of earning back enough points to save his own soul. His latest adventure involves a pair of twins (both played by Rachel Weisz), the Spear of Destiny, and the machinations of both an angel (Tilda Swinton) and the Devil (Peter Stormare). Worth checking out.
Point Break – Action movies don’t always have to be good to be good. Point Break beats out Speed for a spot on our list for sheer insanity (which Hot Fuzz lovingly made fun of). Reeves stars as an undercover Fed trying to take down surfers, who are also bank robbers, led by Patrick Swayze. I’m not sure exactly what makes Point Break work better than so many other just as preposterous action films, but somehow I always finding myself stopping to watch a few minutes of it when it shows up on TV.
The Replacements – There’s nothing too new about the formula of The Replacements (in many ways it’s simply a remake of Necessary Roughness), but somehow it makes what could be the longest two-hours of your life enjoyable. When NFL players go on strike it’s up to replacement players like Shane Falco (Reeves), Clifford Franklin (Orlando Jones), Daniel Jones (Jon Favreau), Nigel Gruff (Rhys Ifans), and coach Jimmy McGinty (Gene Hackman) to save the season. Brooke Langton also has a nice role as the head cheerleader and bar owner. Better than it should be.
A Scanner Darkly – Although at times hard to watch, Richard Linklater‘s rotoscope adaptation of the Philip K. Dick novel is remarkable and the most faithful version of Dick’s twisted genius captured on film. The tale of an undercover cop (Reeves) slowly loosing his mind to the psychoactive drug Substance D is an intense slow moving journey through hallucination and madness. Patient viewers should give it a try, and stick with it through the end, you’ll be rewarded. Read the full review.
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues – The pitch of a woman with “enlarged thumbs” (Uma Thurman) hitchhiking through the US doesn’t even sound like a good idea for a SNL sketch, much less a feature film. Reeves has a small role as a man she meets on the road. Best forgotten.
The Gift – If you look up the term train wreck in the dictionary you might find a poster for The Gift. Directed by Sam Raimi and written by Billy Bob Thornton the film is ridiculous tale of a psychic (Cate Blanchett), a missing young woman (Katie Holmes), her fiancé (Greg Kinnear), an abusive asshole (Reeves), his frightened wife (Hilary Swank), and a screwed-up young man (Giovanni Ribisi). These events coalesce to give us…nothing of any real interest or importance. Although the acting is fine, at times, the story is a complete disaster which will leave you groaning and laughing at the absurdity of it all. The only memorable moments of this film involve the young Miss Holmes disrobing for the camera. Arguably Sam Raimi’s worst film.
Johnny Mnemonic – I hope the future isn’t as bad as this depiction of it. Reeves stars a a data courier (caring the megabites of info in his head). He, of course, is chased all over the city by baddies wanting what’s in his head (probably a first for Reeves) before ending up in a sci-fi spectacle climax in an abandoned factory (how original!). The supporting cast includes Ice-T, Henry Rollins, and Dolph Lundgren, ‘nuff said.
The Matrix Revolutions – Disappointment. After the kick ass original and the mixed bag of The Matrix Reloaded the series goes out with not a bang, but a whimper.
Sweet November – If they made a film version of Dharma & Greg (without any of the charm) it would probably look exactly like this movie. Reeves stars a businessman who begins an awkward relationship with an obviously disturbed young woman (Charlize Theron). Revelations to why she’s so screwed-up only lead to more misery (for the audience).
The Watcher – Been there, done that. Reeves stars as a serial killer who hunts down victims and kills them in overly-elaborate ways all to feed his ego and tempt an FBI agent who has been chasing him for years (James Spader) to capture him. Think In the Line of Fire (or any number of films) except more bland, predictable, and with Keanu Reeves.