This Week

So what’s out there this week.  Well today we’ll take a look at the films scheduled to be released this Friday including the Josh Hartnett in a case of mistaken identity, Antonio Banderas shaking his booty with a bunch of high school kids, a film that stars Rob Schneider and David Spade (God help us!), Jennifer Aniston in her first film of the year, and more.  Read on…

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Here’s what’s scheduled to hit theaters this week.  Want to know more, just click on the title for film info including a full cast list.  Want a closer look, just click on the poster to watch the trailer.

Lucky Number Slevin

A case of mistaken identity leads an unsuspecting man (Josh Hartnett) into a battle between two crime bosses (Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley), the sights of a killer (Bruce Willis) and the bed of a beautiful woman (Lucy Liu).  I’m not a big Hartnett fan but hey, any movie where he gets punched repeatedly in the face I’m all for!  Directed by Paul McGuigan (Wicker Park) the film wants to be Kiss Kiss Bang Bang but never makes it to that level.  Still, the cast is good and the story is interesting enough to keep your attention through its twists and turns.  Check back for a full review on Friday.

Take the Lead

Hey I think I’ve seen this before!  Antonio Banderas plays a former professional dancer who takes a gig teaching high school students dance (funny, they don’t have a budget for drama, music, or band programs but they can offer a class on classical dance??  Just what kind of public school is this?)  At first his style clashes with his students and then they learn to respect each other and discover that classic dance is really cool as their teacher decides he can incorporate some hip hop movies into the dancing.  The film is directed by music video veteran Liz Fridlander and also stars Alfrie Woodard and Ray Liotta.

The Benchwarmers

Three luckless losers (David Spade, Rob Schneider, and Jon Heder) decide to make up for missed childhood experiences and form a three-man baseball team.  Even Heder fans have slim hopes for this one.  Directed by Dennis Dugan who’s given us such classics as Saving Silverman, Big Daddy, Problem Child, and Beverly Hills Ninja.  Yet another Adam Sandler produced film starring his bud Schneider (see Dooche Bigelow, The Hot Chick, The Animal and more) so expect tons of SNL cameos from the likes of Jon Lovitz, Norm MacDonald, and Tim Meadows (is he still alive and acting?) and tons of dick and fart jokes. 

Phat Girlz

Mo’Nique (Domino, Soul Plane) stars as a plus-size fashion designer looking for love.  Mo’Nique has been good in supporting performances but can she carry this film on her own?  This bare-budget indie was brought to screen by first time writer/director Nnegest Likke (so what this is going to be like is anybody’s guess).  Also starring in the film are Jimmy Jean-Louis Godfrey, Jack Noseworthy, Eric Roberts (Eric Roberts? soooo…who does he kill and/or have sex with?), Kendra C. Johnson, and Crystal Rivers.  Don’t expect this one to stay around too long before it hits the DVD shelves.

Friends with Money (Limited Release)

Great cast for writer/director Nicole Holofcener’s (Lovely & Amazing, Walking and Talking) latest film.  Jennifer Aniston (in her first of two films including this summer’s The Break-Up with Vince Vaughn) plays a successful career woman who quits her teaching job to work as a part time maid and then questions whether she still fits in with her successful friends (Joan Cusack, Catherine Keener, Frances McDormand).  The film as stars Greg Germann, Simon McBurney and Jason Isaacs.  As the opening film at Sundance it recieved some notice but the the buzz you’d expect from a quality ensemble cast (though the film does cast Aniston firmly as the main lead). 

On a Clear Day (Limited Release)

In a last ditch effort to salvage his self-esteem after losing his job a 55 year-old shipbuilder (Peter Mullan) decides to swim the English Channel.  In training he grows closer to his friends (Billy Boyd, Ron Cook, Sean McGinley) keeping his quest a secret from his wife (Brenda Blethyn) and estranged son (Jamie Sives).  And as always in films like this the journey teaches the lead character truth about life, how to confront his problems, and how to reconnect to those around him.  The film was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance and McGinley took home Best Supporting Actor at the IFTA Awards.  Directed by Gaby Dellal, the film was shot in Glasgow and Dover.

When Do We Eat (Limited Release)

Passover was never so funny!  When one of the kids slips his overbearing father (Michael Lerner) a hit of Ecstasy right before the seder the night becomes one to remember.  The cast includes Jack Klugman, Lesly Ann Warren, Max Greenfield, Mili Avital, Shiri Appleby, and Adam Lamberg.  Co-written and directed by Slavador Litvak who waited 11 years to put out his second film.  Distributed by ThinkFilms (who did a great job getting The Aristocrats out last year) so unless you live in NY or LA expect this one to take a little while to get to your town.

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Comic Movie Update

We’ve found out a little about some comic book films you just might be interested in.  It seems somebody finally spilled the beans about Topher Grace and Spidey 3 on the record.  Think you know who he’s playing?  Think again!  Also Christopher Nolan announced an end to the search to find the next Joker as the director has settled on his choice and has narrowed the Harvey Dent role down to three.  Check inside for all the comic book movie goodness.

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Seriously, what did you expect?

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Bruce Campbell’s Next Project!?!

Bruce Campbell returning to the role his fans still salivate for?  Ash taking on Jason Voorhees and Freddie Kruger in a battle to the death!  A fan’s wet dream?  Yes, but turns out this one will come true.  Campbell, despite previous comments saying he would never play the role again, has signed on for the film and this baby’s gonna’ get good.  Check out the interview inside for all the juicy tidbits including whose on deck to direct.

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Seriously, what did you expect?

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Bad Instincts

How bad does a film have to be for Joe Eszterhas to refuse to make it?  How silly is it for a 50 year-old woman to strut around in skimpy outfits like a horny teenager?  How untitiliating is it to see a nude 50 year-old woman pretending to be a 20 year-old woman, and how sad is it to watch?  How unnecessary is this sequel?  What does Sharon Stone’s pet project really have to offer?  These questions and more can be answered if you’re willing to watch one of the most ridiculous films in recent memory.  Or you could just read my review.

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1 Star

In 1992 Sharon Stone broke into the big time with the lurid sex-thriller Basic Instinct.  After years of struggle the hit allowed Stone to carve out a niche as the latest slutty tramp vixen (only latter to be dethrowned by the likes of Elizabeth Berkley and Krista Allen).  Finally her career broadened and she moved away from those roles into some fine performances in good films (such as last year’s Broken Flowers).  Sadly however she’s returned to the role that made her a star.  Now at the age of 48 Stone loses both her clothes and dignity and shows us quite plainly that the studios were right to try to abort this baby before it ever saw the light of day.

Author and serial killer Catherine Tramell (Sharon Stone) is living it up in England seeking thrills, taking chances, and leaving bodies strewn in her wake.  After her bad choice of mixing sex and driving causes the death of her latest one-night stand Catherine is taken in by Scotland Yard Detective Roy Washburn (David Thewlis) who wants nothing more than to nail her to the wall.  He sends Cathrine to his friend Dr. Michael Glass (David Morrissey), who is hiding enough of his own skeletons for an entirely separate movie, for a full evaluation.  Glass of course falls for the femme fatale and his world slowly disolves into crazy-wacko-funland-time.

Stone was guaranteed the right to make a sequel to Basic Instinct (despite the fact no one else wanted one) and over the past few years went as far to sue for the studio to produce this film.  Problem is it took 14 years to get the film done and Stone is now 48 years-old and acting like no time has gone by.  It’s hard not to notice the age of the actress and the rather inappropriate (and unintentionally hilarious at times) storyline for one such as Granny Stone to be starring in.  Stone goes for all the same jokes: “arrest me for smoking?,” trashy outfits, spreading her legs (thankfully this time she straddles the back of a chair), performing various sexual acts in public for an audience, and seducing a troubled guy who actually has the power to stop her at any time but doesn’t because… she’s so sexy??  Problem is we’ve seen this before and the rehash never adds anything new to the stock formula nor works with an actress of Stone’s age.

From beginning to end the film is simply ridiculous.  Nothing believable happens and the officers at Scotland Yard are even more inept at their jobs than the San Francisco cops from the first film.  Seriously folks are you telling me the only competent cops are so mesmerized by her they just can’t stop her either?  Flimsy plot twists involving a tabloid reporter (Hugh Dancy) digging into Dr. Glass’s shady past involving a former patient and Glass’ appoinment to a new position are meant to add some much needed story elements to the film yet they never come together or amount to much.  And as for the sex and thriller aspects, they fail to obscure what is simply dreadful dialogue and writing; unlike the first film, this time when Granny Stone drops her clothes and writhes around it’s not sexy, it’s not titilating or erotic, it’s just plain icky and more than a little sad.

You into GILFs?  If not pass this ridiculous absurdly retarded film by.  It’s so lurid and seedy it makes softcore porn look respectable by comparision.  Miss Stone please keep your legs crossed and your clothes on from now on.  I’ve seen enough to know I’ve seen enough.  The first movie was forgettable enough but this one just oozes all types of badness.  Probles arise because director Michael Caton-Jones is no Paul Verhoven and writers Leora Barish and Henry Bean are no Joe Eszterhas (stop and think about that for a a second, realize I’m not saying this in a good way, and realize the imlications of this statement) and Stone simply isn’t the sexpot she was almost fifteen-years ago.  The film was obvioulsy an attempt by Stone to recapture the glory of her most profitable years but the actuality of it will make you yearn for The Specialist and Sliver.  The film is not entirely pointless as it reveals exactly how bad a film has to be for Joe Eszterhaus to refuse to make it – exactly this bad.

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…and the Bad News

Well that’s that.  Arrested Development creator Mitch Hurwitz is no longer interested in continuing the series.  The show was in negotiations to move to Showtime under conditions that Hurwitz stayed attached to the project but because of the inability to come to terms on the finances and concerns over the quality of the show Hurwitz has pulled himself from the project.  “Of course, if there was enough money in it, I would have happily abandoned the fans’ need for quality. But as it turns out, there wasn’t.”  Although this doesn’t officially sound the end of the show and scrapping of the deal, Hurwitz did admit he’d be willing to stay on as a consultant, but it does add one more nail to the coffin.  The show’s exec-producer Jim Vallely isn’t interested in taking over “We couldn’t do the show without Mitch Hurwitz, and I wouldn’t want to be the guy who tried.”

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…and the Bad News Read More »