One-Half Razor

Threshold #3

/ / Comics

Threshold #3While I wasn’t looking DC Comics launched their only thinly-veiled rip-off of Marvel Comics’ Guardians of the Galaxy as part of the New 52. Now I love the Guardians (both original and newer versions), so the concept of a rag-tag DC version of space explorers told by the extremely talented Keith Giffen doesn’t sound like that bad of an idea to me (even if the comic really isn’t all that interesting or well-told). At worst it would just be another New 52 mistake I could blissfully ignore. And then this happened.

Threshold #3 introduces the beloved character of Captain Carrot, created by Roy Thomas and Scott Shaw in 1982,  to a new generation of readers. Normally something like that would get standing applause from me. However, given the character gets his own 90’s Image Comics Exteme makeover (which seems to now be a prerequisite for any and all classic DC characters) I’m far less pleased.

I love Captain Carrot. I’m also extremely fond of Rocket Raccoon. You know what I’m so pleased with? Captain Carrot redesigned as a more extreme version of Rocket Raccoon.

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Batman #16

/ / Comics

batman-new-52-16-coverAnd I’m done. Writer Scott Snyder built up an extreme amount of good will with me with his terrific run on Detective Comics before the New 52 reboot. Shifting over to Batman with the launch of New 52 he’s delivered some individually strong issues but several forgettable and some downright bad issues as well. None, however, have lowered the bar more than Batman #16.

I’ve argued often that the entire New 52 seems to have been made off the gritty and hugely popular Arkham Asylum video game. DC proves me correct in this issue where it actually becomes Arkaham Asylum as the Dark Knight enters a Joker-controlled Arkham to stop the madman’s latest plans.

The Death of the Family issues dealing directly with the Joker have only gotten worse as the months have dragged on, finally hitting rock bottom here in this NC-17 horror fetish fantasy that’s so far removed from classic Batman stories it’s nearly unrecognizable. For those who enjoy it I’m leaving it to you. Mr. Snyder thanks for the memories, but I’m getting off this particular roller coaster with this issue. Pass.

[DC, $3.99]

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Here’s a little rant about Jack & Diane

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Jack & Diane
  • IMDB: link

jack-and-diane-posterJack & Diane, sadly unrelated to John Mellencamp’s 1982 hit, is a regrettable piece of filmmaking. It’s regrettable that writer/director Bradley Rust Gray wasted four years trying to get the film made. It’s regrettable that young actresses Juno Temple and Riley Keough are wasted in thankless roles. And it’s regrettable for anyone who has to sit through what is arguably the worst film released in theaters this year.

The story centers around teenagers Diane (Temple) and Jack (Keough) who meet and share a rather tepid and unremarkable romance over the course of a summer. Gray intersperses the emotional and sexual aspects of their relationship with horror imagery meant to underlie the animalistic nature of their attraction (which we see little evidence of on-screen).

Gray’s metaphor is ill-defined and sophomoric at best. The only positive to the various scenes involving monsters, growing hair, and various pulsating internal organs is a welcome relief from the relative boredom of the rest of the movie.

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Here’s a little rant about Jack & Diane Read More »

The Phantom Stranger #0

/ / Comics

the-phantom-stranger-new-52-0-coverDan Didio shouldn’t be allowed to write comic books, especially any character that relies on an inherent mystery such as The Phantom Stranger. Sadly, but not surprisingly, the New 52 gives us a new version of the classic character originally introduced by John Broome and Carmine Infantino in 1952.

For 60 years the origins of the character have been shaded in mystery. Even Secret Origins, an 80’s DC comic whose sole pupose was to retell the origins of various characters in separate issues and introduce them to new readers, was explicitly vague by offering not one but four possible origin stories for the character – none of which may be true.

Is he a fallen angel? A remnant of a previous universe (which would make the most sense for the New 52)? Or a tortured soul serving penance to God? Here’s what we know about the Stranger: He’s a shadowy figure, knowledgeable, powerful, with the ability to travel through space and time at will. Cursed into his role, the Stranger can guide others on their path but can never directly interfere himself.

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New Year’s Eve

/ / Home Video
  • Title: New Year’s Eve
  • IMDB: link

new-years-eve-blu-rayNew Year’s Eve follows the lives of an ensemble of New Yorkers, somehow each of whom find themselves in a series of cliched, sickeningly sweet entanglements or awkward situations that only bad screenwriters can dream up, in the hours leading up to Times Square’s biggest night.

The cast includes a single man (Tad Hamilton) with car trouble dreaming of the woman he met last New Year’s Eve,  a single mother (Sarah Jessica Parker) whose teenage daughter (Abigail Breslin) wants to spend New Year’s Eve with a cute boy (Jake T. Austin) in Times Square, Robert De Niro as a man dying of cancer wanting to see the ball drop one last time and his doctor (Cary Elwes) and nurse (Halle Berry) who try to make his final hours comfortable, and a pair of couples (Seth Meyers, Jessica Biel and Til Schweiger, Sarah Paulson) jockeying to be the parents of the first born baby of the year.

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