One-Half Razor

The Phantom Stranger #0

the-phantom-stranger-new-52-0-coverDan Didio shouldn’t be allowed to write comic books, especially any character that relies on an inherent mystery such as The Phantom Stranger. Sadly, but not surprisingly, the New 52 gives us a new version of the classic character originally introduced by John Broome and Carmine Infantino in 1952.

For 60 years the origins of the character have been shaded in mystery. Even Secret Origins, an 80’s DC comic whose sole pupose was to retell the origins of various characters in separate issues and introduce them to new readers, was explicitly vague by offering not one but four possible origin stories for the character – none of which may be true.

Is he a fallen angel? A remnant of a previous universe (which would make the most sense for the New 52)? Or a tortured soul serving penance to God? Here’s what we know about the Stranger: He’s a shadowy figure, knowledgeable, powerful, with the ability to travel through space and time at will. Cursed into his role, the Stranger can guide others on their path but can never directly interfere himself.

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New Year’s Eve

  • Title: New Year’s Eve
  • IMDB: link

new-years-eve-blu-rayNew Year’s Eve follows the lives of an ensemble of New Yorkers, somehow each of whom find themselves in a series of cliched, sickeningly sweet entanglements or awkward situations that only bad screenwriters can dream up, in the hours leading up to Times Square’s biggest night.

The cast includes a single man (Tad Hamilton) with car trouble dreaming of the woman he met last New Year’s Eve,  a single mother (Sarah Jessica Parker) whose teenage daughter (Abigail Breslin) wants to spend New Year’s Eve with a cute boy (Jake T. Austin) in Times Square, Robert De Niro as a man dying of cancer wanting to see the ball drop one last time and his doctor (Cary Elwes) and nurse (Halle Berry) who try to make his final hours comfortable, and a pair of couples (Seth Meyers, Jessica Biel and Til Schweiger, Sarah Paulson) jockeying to be the parents of the first born baby of the year.

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Charlie’s Angels – Angel With a Broken Wing

  • Title: Charlie’s Angels – Angel With a Broken Wing
  • tv.com: link

charlies-angels-tv-rebootWow, did that suck. I wasn’t expecting much from the reboot of the late 70’s show focused on three women working as private eyes for a mysterious unseen benefactor, but in the very least I expected it to be dumb fun.The original wasn’t Shakespeare but at least if felt competent. Sadly, neither of those words can be used to describe this version.

“Angel With a Broken Wing” may be one of the worst pilot episodes I’ve ever watched. The writing and dialogue is one step away from intentionally bad (and yet still painfully unfunny). And don’t even get me started on the acting. These young women might be able to act (hey, anything is possible) if given better material but I have a feeling we’ll never know (at least as long as this show stays on the air).

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Pride and Glory

  • Title: Pride and Glory
  • IMDB: link

Over the top acting, typical story line and a complete lack of moral high ground makes Pride and Glory absolutely painful to watch. You don’t give a shit about any one single character, not a one; the most enduring character is a wife dying of cancer. That’s right, a dying wife and interesting enough women were only window dressing in Pride and Glory. Chics don’t carry guns, they are not in the force and they certainly don’t have a brain, just drones that are completely clueless to the peril and damage their husbands are pressing on the poor elements of society.  Pride and Glory is way too long and exaggerates every stereotype from unlawful cops to the criminal element, way too much in one film.  It’s certainly nothing we haven’t seen before, not a single original thought or character.

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Save Yourself From September Dawn

  • Title: September Dawn
  • IMDb: link

September Dawn

What a horrible film.  The “true untold story” of the Mountain Meadows massacre is a blueprint for all future filmmakers on how not to make a film.  Filled with a heavy handed message, simplistic characters, insipid dialogue, religious intolerance, and a laughable love story, the script for this would have been better used as toilet paper.  From beginning to end September Dawn is a mess.

A wagon train of settlers are traveling west.  The good Christians making up the wagon train pass through the Utah Territory and come face to face with the vicious evil Mormons led by a diabolical Jacob Samuelson (Jon Voight) and lorded over by the emperor of evil Brigham Young (Terrence Stamp).  You remember the movies Hollywood used to make about evil bloodthirsty Indian savages?  Well Christopher Cain brings the style back using Mormons instead.

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