1.5 Razors

Totally Redundant

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Total Recall (2012)
  • IMDB: link

total-recall-2012-posterA little more than 20 years after Arnold Schwarzenegger and director Paul Verhoeven worked together to give us a theatrical adaptation of Philip K. Dick‘s short story “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale” Sony Pictures decided to tap Underworld director Len Wiseman for a remake. For fans who remember the original Total Recall, this dumbed-down remake will feel unnecessary and bereft of even a hint of intelligence in front, or behind, the camera.

Gone are the dreams of Mars and mutant rebellion. In their place screenwriters Kurt Wimmer and Mark Bomback give us a dystopian future where the Earth has become largely uninhabitable with the exception of parts of Britain and Australia. Australia, now referred to simply as “The Colony” is the condensed living quarters of all the worlds’ working stiffs including assembly line worker Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell). One of the only bright spots in the film is the imaginative set design that works in futuristic and ancient Asian styles into the creation of The Colony.

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Cat Run

/ / Home Video
  • Title: Cat Run
  • IMDB: link

cat-run-dvdWith Cat Run director John Stockwell and screenwriters Nick Ball and John Niven deliver a derivative action flick that wants so hard to be cool it’s almost embarrassing. Mixing a healthy dose of nudity with brutal stylized violence (including torture scenes with a cigar cutter and dental drill), a plot that doesn’t make all that much sense, and intentionally bizarre characters (such as D.L. Hughley as a one-armed, no legged, office worker) Cat Run is one mess of a film.

Our story takes place in Eastern Europe where genius introvert (Scott Mechlowicz) turned failed chef and his childhood best friend (Alphonso McAuley) decide (for no apparent reason) to start a low rent detective agency above a porno theater in Montenegro. Their first client is a prostitute named Cat (Paz Vega) who stole their car and phone and is the sole remaining witness to a series of brutal murders. Well, client is a rather strong word as no one actually hired these likable but ridiculous pair to find anyone.

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Red Hood and the Outlaws #11

/ / Comics

red-hood-and-the-outlaws-11-coverThe team’s outer space adventure continues as Starfire shares with Arsenal and the Red Hood her conflicted feelings for saving a people who sentenced her to a lifetime of slavery. A little more of Kori’s backstory is filled in here along with Starfire’s complicated relationship with her sister (which looks to have big implications for next month’s issue).

There’s really nothing all that interesting about watching these three characters walk around a spaceship and have awkward conversations with one another. Arsenal and Starfire share one nice moment (and it seems apparent that writer Scott Lobdell has decided to put some distance between Jason and Kori, at least for the time being), but Jason’s awkward date problems and the aftermath of a battle we aren’t shown aren’t enough to sell me on this issue.

We also get the continuation of the back-up story featuring Essence hunting down the Untitled (which can’t finish quickly enough for me). Pass.

[DC, $2.99]

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Batman #11

/ / Comics

batman-new-52-11-coverThe “Court of Owls” storyline mercifully comes to an end here as Batman faces off against the head of the Court of Owls, a mad man who believes himself to be Bruce Wayne’s brother. Although Snyder backtracks a bit from last month’s reveal of the real identity of Lincoln March as Thomas Wayne, Jr. things are left far from settled as the issue, and arc, come to a close.

Most of the issue is little more than Batman and March (in some knock-off Iron Man armor the Court must have just had laying around) fighting around the rooftops of Gotham as March endlessly drones on about his right to the Wayne name, fortune and legacy.

Not surprisingly, the issue ends with Batman knowing that March was likely lying but unable to prove for certain. We also get scene between Bruce and Dick to smooth over the whole Batman cold cocking him thing and another chapter in the truly awful back-up story involving Alfred‘s father. Pass.

[DC, $3.99]

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Batman #10

/ / Comics

batman-new-52-10-coverUm… what? Writer Scott Snyder joins Jeph Loeb (who invented Bruce Wayne’s childhood friend turned super-villain) and Grant Morrison (who basically has carte blanche to do whatever the hell he wants concerning Batman and his history including turning him into 1970’s Tony Stark) in writing a major departure for the character that gives Bruce Wayne… a brother?

Batman (and several more victims than initially believed) have survived the “Night of the Owls.” Batman tracks the Court of Owls back to their base where he discovers they have apparently taken their own lives to escape justice.

However, Batman learns the truth as he discovers Lincoln March is alive and responsible… and claims he is Bruce Wayne’s brother?? And, given the back-up story (which appears to support his claim) it might even be true. Stop the merry-go-round, I want to get off. Snyder better have one hell of a twist up his sleeve to try and salvage what, apparently, this whole arc was leading up to. Pass.

[DC, $3.99]

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