‘Bedtime Stories’ Makes You Fall Asleep

by Ian T. McFarland on December 25, 2008

in Movie Reviews 

  • Bedtime Stories
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Did you ever wonder what would happen if Adam Sandler all the sudden gained the ability to magically make anything happen just by telling a story about it happening?  Neither did I, but I guess that’s what we pay Walt Disney Studios for.

So Adam Sandler starts telling his niece and nephew bedtime stories and quickly realizes that, well, these stories come true.  The stories are always about Sandler’s character of Skeeter; so the next day, he finds select elements from the story incorporating themselves into his life.  All the sudden he can control his own life!  (And no, this bears no resemblance to any movies Sandler has put out over the past three years.)  This is all great, but oh no!  All of the sudden bad guys are going to demolish the kids’ school to build a new luxery hotel!  Now, by the film’s climax, Uncle Skeeter has to stop this the only way he knows how: a motorcycle race (totally not shitting you there).

Hold up – did I forget to mention Bugsy, the apparently magical hamster that brings these stories to life?  I just want to repeat a part of that last sentence – MAGIC HAMSTER.  This movie has a MAGIC HAMSTER.  A MAGIC HAMSTER that can not play with the fabrics of space and time, but must also apparently understand the English language in which these stories are told.  MAGIC FUCKING HAMSTER.

It all adds up to be one big predictable kids movie that is extra-obviously more a business’ product than piece of filmic art.  It’s not so much awful, as much as my screenplay that I sent you was SO MUCH BETTER, HOLLYWOOD.  Cough.

Actually, as much as I wanted (and still want) to hate Bedtime Stories, it’s certainly not a failure.  What it lacks in everything except for charm, it almost makes up for with its charm, of which there’s plenty.  Despite the fact that I’ve come to seriously despise Adam Sandler (Article I, Article II, Article III), it turns out that when he’s just trying to make kids laugh, he’s plenty good at the job.

But most of the credit probably belongs to Adam Shankman.  He directed last year’s Hairspray which, though that one admittedly had plenty more to work with, Shankman gave an irresistible bubble of wonderfulness.  You can find a good fraction of said bubble in Bedtime Stories, although it’s important to note it’s this newer film has nothing on last year’s musical (fatsuit John Travolta included.)

This one’s fine for the kids, and adults might find themselves smiling.  Still, that’s no excuse.  Bedtime Stories is probably as good as this sort of movie can be; but that doesn’t mean it’s just like any other family movie out there.

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