Next Goal Wins

  • Title: Next Goal Wins
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Next Goal Wins

Based on a true story of a washed-up soccer coach exiled across the world and tasked with turning around the worst international soccer team in the world after their historic loss 31-0 on the world stage, Next Goal Wins is pretty much what you would expect following in the footsteps of films such as Cool Runnings, A League of Their Own, or The Mighty Ducks… just not as good.

While perfectly acceptable as family friendly TV entertainment for something like The Hallmark Channel, Next Goal Wins lacks the heart of a champion and is more notable for Kaimana‘s role portraying Jaiyah Saelua, the first openly non-binary and trans woman to compete in a FIFA World Cup qualifier, than the story of the coach (who does little on-screen to teach soccer and whose motivations seem to come and go when the film needs them to without ever providing any proper motivation to change his attitude towards himself, his situation, or the team).

Of course the film does itself no favors in refusing to flesh out any of the other players who are large indistinguishable from one another or those on the other teams they play. And for film about soccer, there’s not much actually on display. Thomas Rongen (Michael Fassbender), who the film is mistakenly built around, is a real prick relying on stolen movie speeches to motivate his players and often throwing temper tantrums during games. Waiting to reveal a crucial point about his history and motivations for the sake of a late reveal proves awkward as by that point the script requires he already turned to corner and began caring about his job.

If the film fails with its protagonist it succeeds with locals such as Kaimana and Oscar Kightley as the man responsible for bringing the new coach to American Samoa. Between the two of them, the film fleshes out the unusual setting Rongen finds himself in and shows the mindset of a people quite different than what the coach is used to. It’s in the locale, and the people (especially Jaiyah), where Next Goal Winds finds both its best comedic and dramatic moments, but sadly they are pushed too far into the background to instead focus on the would-be white savior who learns as much as he teaches after arriving on the island. Next Goal Wins is a mixed bag featuring the expected off-kilter comedy of writer/director Taika Waititi which provides some fun individual moments but also creates a tonal mess when the film attempts to get dramatic or tries to paint in the lines of your usual sports biography.

Watch the trailer