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An Interview With The Writers & Directors of Madagascar

Scarlet gets the scoop on the making of Madagascar
Tom McGrath and Eric Darnell gives Scarlet and a group of local critics the ins and outs of creating a successful and funny animation. Madagascar took over 4-years and hundreds of artists to create. While watching the making of on HBO, I realized how excited you have to be about something that you never see, but have to guess at to do voice over. All the actors, but Chris Rock, seemed to be head over hills about their characters and what they contributed to the film. My favorite little characters in Madagascar are the monkeys and penguins. Did you know the penguins started out in a parody of The Beatles “Hard Days Night”, but the music rights were impossible to secure and Tom and Eric decided to move on to a different adventure in Madagascar.
The artwork in Madagascar originated from the Golden Books series and the comedy comes from a type of Laurel and Hardy technique. Using a squash and stretch method to animate the characters expressions and give the audience a laugh out loud experience.
[B]Q[/B] – What made you choice Madagascar and not New Guinea or some other place?

[B]A[/B] – They were worlds apart New York and Madagascar. The languages, culture, if you went to Africa for example you’d run into some of those animals and that’s not the story we wanted to tell. We wanted these guys to be completely out of their element. Also Madagascar is this unique place. There are a lot of people we’ve run into, while doing the filming, who didn’t even know Madagascar was a real place. This was okay with us because we’re creating this sort of Shangri-La or Bally Ha. They have these amazing plants there that you don’t find anywhere else on the planet and animals exclusive to this area. What great characters to introduce into our film and create this magical mysterious place. On the other side of the coin, the local Madagascan would have never seen these aliens that dropped in, so it worked well.
[B]Q[/B] – It takes about four years to put this whole process together. How do you keep it together? You’ve got all these individuals that are working on different things at the same time. Does it come to the point where an actor says “maybe I should have this kind of character or that kind of character?” How much can you change? How do you keep it all together?
[B]A[/B] – We changed a lot! What we do is start with the writers, original writers, Eric and I also wrote and we have this incredible team of story artist and what story artist do is they take the script and visualize the entire movie beat for beat like a comic book and that’s how we work our movie. So we have the storyboards and script to start the film and drafting process like we do a movie. The story artist are writers themselves and they’ll create really funny gags or dramatic moments. Like in the script it may say, Alex and Melman reunite on the beach and one by one Alex helps them out of the crate. This is where the story artists takes us to the visual of Alex grabbing a palm tree and tries to ram Melvin out of his crate, and the sparks goes flying and that’s the visual of the story. We do this for two and a half years working with these story artists, and we record our actors who have ideas and we draw those up. We make our first film that way using the drawings just audio before we start the animation process. Once you get to the stage where 100’s of artists are working on it, you want to make sure; at that point, your film is in a tight format.

[B]Q[/B] – From the four-year process what characters have changed or grown? Or have they all stayed with in their original creation?
[B]A[/B] – They’ve all grown! You start with this idea of, what if you took these New York City zoo animals and stuck them in the wild, and what would be funny about that. We all know New Yorkers and we all know they’d never get along in the wild and that’s pretty much what we started with. We all have these elements of civility and savagery. We made a lion and zebra best of friends while they were in a controlled location and then we turned prey and predator into the wild to see what would happen. Of course we are not trying to tell a story that has been done, the whole “don’t eat your best friend” schtick; so you see what rises to the surface and what becomes the heart and soul of the film through this process. In this case it’s about friendship and we have these characters throughout the film who define themselves by where they are, not who they are.
Alex is in New York, that’s who he is “I’m a New Yorker I’m a star, this is who I am I would never go anywhere else, why would I ever want too?” And Marty is this guy who says “the only way I’m ever gonna know who I am is to go somewhere else for a while”. So they go to the wild and this location is telling him something else and he finds out that in the wild you have to act a different way. And in this we realize what our film is all about. All these characters, even the penguin defining themselves by where they are in this world. Really what they all have to learn is it’s not about where you are but who you’re with that matters. When we found that core idea it was a eureka moment for us. That’s what people can identify with, the power of friendship, and that defines what’s important in our lives.
[B]Q[/B] – Who came up with that wonderful line, “I’m going to kill you, I’m going to bury you, I’m going to dig you up and clone you and then kill all your clones”?
[B]A[/B] – Eric Darnell – The important line after that is “and then I’ll never talk to you again”. Well it was Tom and myself who shared the writing credits. We’d come up with these lines and then the actors would bring them to life and other times different writers contributed.

[B]A[/B]- Tom McGrath – When we were working on that section we made it a complete monologue “how many ways you can kill something”. Other times we’d just throw these scenes back and forth and keep at it and laugh to ourselves. A lot of the lines did come from the actors, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer, Ben Stiller and Jada Pinkett Smith, they would use their own words and improvised; we encouraged them to play with it and that’s how we came up with a lot of the dialogue.
[B]Q[/B]- What’s it like doing voice over, do you just put a microphone in front of them for the first time and turn them loose or do they have some kind of guideline, like you’re going to be the character of the…?
[B]A[/B] – We have a script that they work from and we’d give them direction or get feedback and most of the time all of us would improvise. Sometimes they need that refocus on where their character is going to end up, so we’d go back and refocus on the script. If it’s their goal to do it a different way, that’s fine by us, we will give it a shot.
It’s hard, because when you start these things a lot of the talent are not familiar with voiceover work so you have to contain your ferocity and projection to the mic and for us as directors all we can do is help visualize the scene. 500 dancing Lemurs in a jungle and visualizing the New York Zoo can be a leap of faith and imagination. You have to pretend you’re running, jumping, dancing all at the same time doing your lines. The actors have to believe in us and what we are telling them to do; there may not be any true visuals to put onto a screen in front of them at the time they start their parts. They have to put a great deal of trust in us coming into this environment where they have to imagine everything that is happening around them. And believe that it’s going to add up to something in the end. Because they’re not working with the recording studio or other actors so they don’t have that to play against. That is why it’s okay to try stuff, its okay to bomb a line because it doesn’t matter, its part of our process to collaborate with these guys to take advantage of their incredible talent.
The big names on the marquee are great, because that’s what gets people in the theater, but the reason why these guys are big names is because they’re so good at what they do. We leverage off that as well and make them part of the process.
Knowing it’s a great day for us when we do have animation of these characters and actually show it to them and they get to see their voices coming out of the character it’s always a great moment and they’re like “Oh! that’s me, I’m that character”. From there it gets a little bit easier because they can visualize on their own what to expect from their character and the other characters.
[B]Q[/B] – When you write the story, how much do you think about the animation and how it plays into it? Or do you just write the story and make the animation work afterwards?
[B]A[/B] – You have to have confidence in what the animation will do. Sometimes there are things going on, multiple things happening at any given moment. You may have an incredible environment the character is moving through, you may have wonderful dramatics that are helping to drive the scene forward. Or maybe you’re planning on some really great music; sometimes what you’re pinning all your confidence in is animation. We talk about this one scene that was storyboarded where the penguins come down along the deck of the ship on their way to the bridge and have taken over and in the storyboard they come down fairly typically they just sort of waddled down the ladder and got off. The next step in the process that we begin to realize in the computer is called layout, it’s like walking your actors on the set and placing the cameras during the cinematography. From that point you can see things like the deckhand walking past and the penguins knocking him out and dragging him around the corner; we’re like “yeah that’s great, that’s a great idea” and so that took it to the next level. Keep in mind none of the animation was done, they just sort of blocked in the position of all this. Then the animator came along and took those penguins and the rest of it (old film term “shoe leather” literally characters walking from point A to point B) and turned it into this fun animation where the penguins are being all crafty and doing shoulder rolls and this Charlie’s Angels stuff. You do have confidence and hope that every step of the way you can pluck and take these scenes to the next level.
[B]Q[/B] – Melman was one of the ones who stuck out to me.
[B]A[/B] – We knew that he was going to be kind of neurotic, hypochondrias psychotic in a loveable funny way, but we didn’t want him to be a complete downer, that’s how David Swhimer came to mind and as his voice was coming out of that giraffe it just worked wonderfully.
He loved it and he took it really seriously, all these guys their pro’s, they don’t just come in and read lines on a page and then walk out. They were always standing up for their characters in a way and seeing what was on the page in their characters eyes, that’s what made them so great and brought the characters to life.

[B]Q[/B] – When they’re going to save Marty and they want to take the subway they didn’t even know what to do and Melman had the answer, but it’s so unexpected.
[B]A[/B] – Yeah, Melman comes up with the most unexpected lines for his character like his whole hypotheses that the jungle was actually the San Diego Zoo.
[B]Q[/B] – Did either of you do any actual research about the animals or did you have people who did that and reported back to you? Tell us a little bit about the choice of animals you used in the film. What animals do in the wild and what they would do in the zoo?
[B]A[/B] – It’s all us in the beginning; we did a lot of research. We didn’t even know that certain animals existed until we did research about Madagascar. You study these animals and use it to work your way through the story. We did take a lot of liberties with the animal characters
[B]Q[/B] – As directors how hands on are you with the animation process?

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[B]A[/B] – We worked with them like we would actors, they’re really talented people and sometimes we would want subtle acting and some times you’d want to take it over the top and have a really broad cartoony animation. We would act out together, ask the animators how this or that could happen with visible humor, it was a collaborative effort. A bunch of hams getting up acting out ideas, it was so funny. In the mornings we’d meet with the animators and give them ideas and direction how to proceed, they would always have a video tape popped in the camera in the corner and you’d have to leave your inhibitions at the door and just get up and go for it. Tom would go “good, go for it perform” and he’d be “no do it like this” or the animator would come down and say “do it like this”. The animators had us all over the place because that’s how the best ideas come to the surface; a lot of thought and suggestions.
[B]Q[/B] – So you were up for suggestions if someone came to the table with them?
[B]A[/B] – Sure! That’s just part of the process
[B]Q[/B] – Do you agree with the assessment that 2D animation is a thing of the past? Do you think it will ever come back?
[B]A[/B] – Traditional animation will make a come back and I just love it. It’s going to take someone who does a real great computer animation style of film and have everybody running over there oohing the animation! Just like the pencil, when the pen came out or got popular, people were like “ooh a pen yea”, they put down the pencil in favor of the pen, so that’s kind of where we are with the whole computer versus old style of animation film thing. Folks are telling us that we should find this style of animation very refreshing and yet it’s classic old school animation. This is stuff we grew up on Saturday morning watching Warner Brothers shorts of the 40’s and 50’s….this played to our advantage, because of the fact that it is traditional animation, there weren’t a lot of animated films coming out. The animators who have worked in the traditional form had to learn the new style to stay a float; but as you can tell, it’s not just the style it’s all about the talent. When we started computer animation there weren’t very many people over 25 doing it and now there’s people who’ve taken to it and really learned how to use the computer in animation.
[B]Q[/B] – The ending kind of hints at a sequel. Two years from now are we going to see a sequel?
[B]A[/B]- We didn’t intentionally set it up to be a sequel, it just worked out that way to get the most interesting ending

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Law & Order: The Third Year

Dick Wolf’s legal behemoth is set to become the longest running police procedural show, and second longest running drama in television history. To date there are three spin-offs, and I’ll wager we’ll be seeing Law & Order: Hall Monitors, and L&O: Bathroom Key Attendants before this decade is through. All kidding aside though, Law & Order has earned it’s longevity by keeping current, handling it’s material as un-sensationally as television will allow, and by having a stellar cast portraying interesting characters. Universal has just released the third season on DVD, so we sat down for some 17 hours worth of hard-hitting justice.

Law & Order: The Third Year
4 Stars

The Babyfaces meets Mr. Craggly

Dick Wolf’s legal behemoth is set to become the longest running police procedural show, and second longest running drama in television history. To date there are three spin-offs, and I’ll wager we’ll be seeing Law & Order: Hall Monitors, and L&O: Bathroom Key Attendants before this decade is through. All kidding aside though, Law & Order has earned it’s longevity by keeping current, handling it’s material as un-sensationally as television will allow, and by having a stellar cast portraying interesting characters. Universal has just released the third season on DVD, so we sat down for some 17 hours worth of hard-hitting justice.

For the unfamiliar, Law & Order broke new ground for police shows by spending the first half of the show detailing the detective and police work and the second half detailing the criminal trial. While on occasion this can lend itself to some unduly compressed storylines, all in all the format is infinitely more rewarding than just seeing either story by itself. The 1992-1993 season saw the introduction of Det. Lennie Briscoe, played by fan favorite Jerry Orbach (who passed away late last year), and the exit of Paul Sorvino, but otherwise the show was business as usual. Across the 22 episodes included in this set, the topics range from straight-up murder, to corporate fraud & malfeasance, sweatshops, new partners, drug-running, computer crimes, weapons dealing, mentally handicapped defendents, government cover-ups, and animal rights activists. It’s a pretty breathtaking list of subjects to cover, and they’re all handled with L&O’s trademark style and heft.

As a set this is a pretty satisfying collection, with 3 double sided discs covering the show along with deleted scenes and a tribute to Jerry Orbach. Few television show sets have deleted scenes, and it’s interesting to see what gets cut on a show like Law & Order. Most often you can assume it’s due to running time, but occasionally you can see that some scenes either just don’t work, or detract from episode as a whole. The picture and audio quality is top notch, so you can chuck your A&E taped episodes and enjoy it in digital glory.

There’s a six-minute interview with Jerry Orbach that’s interesting, if a little dry, but the tribute is mostly just clips of various cast members talking about the star.  Strangely, a lot of the actors are from the recent spin-offs of Law & Order, and the whole thing seems like a good idea that wasn’t given much care or attention.  Who cares what the cast of Trial By Jury thought of Orbach?  Bring on the Sam Waterson!

While my own interest in Law & Order has waned over the years, the third season was one in which they’d hit a creative stride that would continue for some time, and this set showcases a show at it’s absolute best. At a standard retail price of $59 dollars, it might be a bit pricey for a show that’s constantly in re-runs on TV, but the great storylines, excellent chemistry between Chris Noth & Orbach, and the overall quality of the show should make this a must have for fans.

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Madagascar

  • Title: Madagascar
  • IMDB: link

madagascar-movie-posterSince the inception of its computer animation department, Dreamworks has consistently played second fiddle to the powerhouse of Pixar. Not in sheer numbers, but in the quality of their stories and the sophistication of their delivery. With Madagascar, Dreamworks has made a signifigant step toward making quality animated films that have something to say that’s as important as the jokes.

In what has to be the single best designed animated effort to date from Dreamworks, Madagascar tells the story of Alex the Lion (Ben Stiller), Marty the Zebra (Chris Rock), Melman the Giraffe (David Schwimmer), and Gloria the Hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith), four Central Park Zoo attractions who eventually find themselves stranded in the wilds of Madagascar, unprepared for demands of wild life and the changes it brings upon them.

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The Longest Yard, Indeed

This is a no-brain summer comedy that has a built in audience of frats boys, frat boys to be, and former glory frat men. While certainly not a laugh riot, The Longest Yard is actually awful per se, and filmgoers who want a break from the special effects orgies but don’t want kids fare or teen drama will most likely flock to it in droves.

The Longest Yard
2 Stars

At the recent New York premier of The Longest Yard, Burt Reynolds slapped a reporter for not ever having seen the 1974 version of the seminal football film. (You can read my review of the recent DVD release HERE) While Reynolds’ publicist has tried to laugh off the incident by saying it was a playful jest, I’m left to wonder if star Adam Sandler and director Pete Segal got similar treatment on the set, because obviously they haven’t seen it either.

See that expression. Get used to it

This time around Sandler takes the role of Paul “Wrecking” Crewe a former NFL quarterback who was booted from the league for points shaving. Sick of his life as a kept boy-toy for a harridan-like Courtney Cox, Crewe goes on a wild, drunken joyride through the city and ending up in hoosegow. Unbeknownst to him, the warden (James Cromwell) has had Crewe sent to his facility in the hopes that Crewe will help his guards’ struggling semi-pro team. Soon enough Crewe and ace hustler The Caretaker (Chris Rock) are putting together an inmate team to give the guards an easy win and the inmates some much desired payback. Along the way friendships are forged The Man gets it stuck to, and no real lessons are learned.

I try to avoid comparing remakes to their source material, but in this case what’s missing from The Longest Yard makes it impossible to avoid. Sandler’s Crewe isn’t the selfish and amoral cad that Reynolds portrayed in the original, nor does Sandler experience any form of character arc or change of heart. He’s playing it straight here, which means a nearly comatose delivery almost devoid of likability. To make matters worse, Sandler has to share the screen with Reynolds, who in even his diminished role still bears the charm and aura that made him such a ubiquitous screen presence in the 70’s. Where Sandler can do barely-contained rage, Reynolds is the epitome of macho cool, an ingredient sorely lacking from this film.

Chris Rock continues his unwavering tradition of bug-eyed delivery of invariably racial jokes, but sadly he’s the comedic highlight of the film. The cast of criminal losers they assemble to form the inmate team feel like the kind of caricatures more suited to a Rob Schneider vehicle, all man-childs and morons. There’s no hint of the brutal sociopaths that filled the original, and their desire to inflict brutal revenge on the guards that torment them is mostly talked about but rarely felt.

But this is a football movie, so no matter the plot or characters a film like has to live or die on the quality of the sports action, and yet again this remake falls far short of the superb gamesmanship of the original. Either due to direction, cinematography, or editing the football game that comprises the third act of the film is just a jumbled mass of quick cuts and hit shots with jokes thrown in willy-nilly. The original, while no masterpiece, earned its place in the canon of great sports films on the weight of the game itself as much as it’s anti-establishment underdog story. Sandler’s version plays like it was designed by someone who knew of football, but not what makes it such a compelling sport to watch.

This is a no-brain summer comedy that has a built in audience of frats boys, frat boys to be, and former glory frat men. While certainly not a laugh riot, The Longest Yard is actually awful per se, and filmgoers who want a break from the special effects orgies but don’t want kids fare or teen drama will most likely flock to it in droves.

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A Life-Altering Voodoo Mind Trip with Steve-O and God

ZolarCzakl takes a sip of magic brew and contemplates his place in the universe

Imagine a black-magic voodoo priest whipping up a blood-tinted bubbling cauldron of mystical potion. He’s standing there, outside at night at some sort of voodoo camp and he’s all decked out in the feathers and the long things hanging from his hair and he’s even got a bone through his nose. He’s chanting in an ancient language while carefully placing an array of sketchy items into the brew: pieces of bats, assorted insects, cups of various blood-like substances, and even a few powders (which he takes a snort of from time to time). When the ingredients have all been well mixed and the voodoo soup simmers for just the right amount of time, the chanting reaches an orgiastic climax as the priest yells the magic incantation and he gets the crazy eyes, full of fire and full of death.
He raises a clay cup of the heated brew to the sky and speaks one final incantation, and for just a quick moment the thousands of visible stars in the sky seem to shift ever so slightly. You are standing a few feet in front of him, taking all of this in. You see the stars do their thing but try not to be freaked out. You feel a strange rumbling in the ground but think it’s maybe just that Poncho’s burrito you somewhat foolishly ate for dinner. Then the priest, whose name is Benny, steps forward and brings the cup close to your face, right up to your now trembling lips. His crazy-eyed stare has you captive and you have no choice but to ingest a mouthful of the rather warm and truly horrible-tasting brew… then comes the biggest change you’ve ever experienced in your life.
Suddenly you’re flying high above the ground, soaring over houses and Vietnamese restaurants that you know and adore. Time seems to have stopped, for there is no motion on the ground. Everything and everyone are frozen in their tracks, some people in mid-walk on the sidewalks, others in their cars with the lights on and the exhaust streaming from the tailpipes. You now exist outside time and outside the laws of physics, soaring high straight into the mind of what you can only imagine is God.
After flying around in a daze for what seems like quite a while (time is non-existent at this point so you don’t really have much of a concept of it) you feel very overwhelmed and find yourself flying into a glowing white room high up in the clouds. You arrive at the room and float into a very regal-looking but rather comfortable reclining chair. It takes a few moments for you to collect yourself and regain your wits, but once you do you look around the room and see that there is a rather nice widescreen television set suspended in front of you. To the right of your recliner is a TV tray with a bitchin’ assortment of snacks and drinks. To the left is another stand with a remote control on it. A loud booming voice erupts in your eardrums and you nearly leap from your bones. It says, “Watch now as the secrets of all the universe are revealed to you oh special one, for you have been chosen to taste of the holy voodoo brew and be imparted with my perfect knowledge so you can spread the word of true enlightenment to all your fellow man.”
The lights dim, the remote floats into your sweaty hand, and you instinctively press play as the television comes to life.

What you see for the next three hours is a close-cropped dark-haired goofball doing a plethora of shitty and retarded things to himself and to others. He snorts salt into his nasal cavities, takes a shot of tequila and has someone from the audience squeeze a lime into his eyes. He has people staple dollar bills to his shirtless torso and arms. He takes broken glass, slashes his tongue, chews up the glass and swallows it. He goes to a used car lot and pisses himself while trying to test-drive a car. He dresses up in a funny wig and jogging suit (the ass of which he has filled with chocolate pudding) and runs around asking people if he can use their bathroom. He wraps his legs with saran wrap and hires a hooker to pee on him. He climbs up onto the roof of a hotel and jumps into the pool. He and his buddies repeatedly smash their heads into a pumpkin in an attempt to break it. He loads his head with hairspray and has a friend spit fire onto his hair, singing it and burning his face. He dresses up like a clown, gets drunk, vomits a lot, goes to a bar, and gets the shit kicked out of him by a bunch of rednecks. He walks around in a park on stilts, juggling and entertaining families until he falls over and acts like he’s been seriously injured. He dresses in that funny wig and half of the jogging suit and dances around the city while listening to music. He dresses in a suit and hangs out at a train stop, acting like a lunatic until the cops show up. Him and his buddies rub down a barely-clothed crack whore’s ass with Vaseline and light her ass on fire as he skateboards over it. He also balances a rather large knife on his nose.
And all of this only takes place in the first half-hour!
By this point your mind is so overloaded with these images that you realize that your consciousness has forever been altered. After watching such disturbingly banal acts with no hint of social value, not even to mention any real hint of true entertainment, you have reached an almost Zen-like state. Millions of non-sequiturs pop into your mind. Random thoughts, complex questions and juvenile, ridiculous situations all fight for space in your mind and try to find their proper place in the universe. As the voodoo stew has melted your brain into a primordial soup, only one thing snaps you out of this corpse-like sleep of stupidity: the voice of God.
“What you have seen is a sampling of what humanity truly has to offer from this point in history until the end of mankind, which will be in 34,262 years, but that doesn’t really mean anything to you… anyway, now that you have been imparted with this very important information, you must make a choice.
“You must either
1) Accept that humans are silly, stupid, selfish, gross, idiotic, hurtful, mean, nasty, evil, and wasteful and not let it eat you up inside… be ok with it… let all of your bad feelings toward people and society go… just be happy, live your life, and don’t be so gosh-darn angry all the time, or
2) Kill yourself.
God out.”
At precisely this moment you are transported to a ledge outside a very tall building. You have to stand up straight against the side of the building in order not to go tumbling over the edge to your death. This is no longer a weird dream – this is real. To your left you see an open window, which you can easily crawl into and be safe. You’re about to make your move then your mind is filled with images of that close-cropped, dark haired goofball getting peed on by a hooker…

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The Longest Yard: Lockdown Edition

As with most sports films, you know how the final game ends up. What makes it such a treat is how director Robert Aldrich gets you there. The Longest Yard jumps from comedy to sports film to drama with equal ease, and the level of cynicism and bleakness inside each jumps out with alarming intensity. This is the film for football fans, and anyone interested in catching the upcoming Adam Sandler remake should skip the theater and just give the far superior original a go.

The Longest Yard: Lockdown Edition
4 & 1/2 Stars

Burt is dead sexy

When people think of the great sports movies, football-themed films are always conspicuously absent from the list. Baseball, of course, rules the genre, with basketball and golf taking up the next two slots. So why, when football is such a massive part of American sports, are there no great movies about it? Well, to tell the truth, there is a great football movie, and no it’s not Any Given Sunday or Rudy. It’s the 1974 Burt Reynolds classic, The Longest Yard.

Seriously. Why? Well for one, it’s just a great movie. Man vs. The Man. Underdogs bucking authority for one last shot at dignity and pride. Great stuff, that. But most importantly it’s the football. The last 1/3 rd of The Longest Yard is the game between the Burt Reynolds led convicts and the prison guards and, if you took out the talky bits, it’s as if you’re watching a semi-pro game. It moves like a football game, and boy does it hit like one. They didn’t pull any punches filming this, and that shows up on the screen. Having the bulk of the teams comprised of ex football pros certainly makes it feel all the more real.

The gist of the story is this: former All Pro quarterback Paul Crewe hasn’t played a game since he was kicked out of the NFL for points shaving. Fed up with his kept life, he steals his gal’s car, tears through the city in a high speed chase, dumps the car in the bay, and then beats up two cops. Needless to say, he goes to jail. He ends up in Citrus State Prison, where the warden (a phenomenal Eddie Albert) has pulled some strings to bring the ex NFL great to his little facility in the hopes that Crewe will coach his guards’ semi-pro team to a national championship. Crewe refuses to help, but eventually agrees to lead a team of convicts against the guards in an exhibition match which Albert thinks will be an easy win for his law-lovin’ boys.

Boy, is he wrong. Crewe collects an assortment of violent offenders and near-sociopaths that manage to come together for their own pride, dignity, and a shot at crippling the guards who torment them every day.

As with most sports films, you know how the final game ends up. What makes it such a treat is how director Robert Aldrich gets you there. The Longest Yard jumps from comedy to sports film to drama with equal ease, and the level of cynicism and bleakness inside each jumps out with alarming intensity. This is the film for football fans, and anyone interested in catching the upcoming Adam Sandler remake should skip the theater and just give the far superior original a go.

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Ludicrous Hullabulloo

What ever happened to Michael Keaton’s career?  Seriously folks, I’m asking you, the guy was Batman for cris’sake!  I can only assume that his latest film, White Noise, is a very loud and extremely painful cry for help from a guy who looks to be about one year away from doing gay porn.  I personally do not believe in EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon), contacting dead people through the static in your television, and I have to say the movie only made me sorry for those that do, which I sincerely doubt if that was the director’s objective.

White Noise
1/2 Star

What ever happened to Michael Keaton’s career?  Seriously folks, I’m asking you, the guy was Batman for cris’sake!  I can only assume that his latest film, White Noise, is a very loud and extremely painful cry for help from a guy who looks to be about one year away from doing gay porn.  I personally do not believe in EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon), contacting dead people through the static in your television, and I have to say the movie only made me sorry for those that do, which I sincerely doubt if that was the director’s objective.

Jonathon Rivers (Keaton) is a successful architect with a young son and a hot new second wife (Chandra West) who mysteriously disappears one night on her way home.  Paranormal expert Raymond Price (Ian McNeice) approaches Rivers and explains his wife is dead and trying to contact him through his television set.  At first Rivers is skeptical, but after his wife turns up dead, rather than going to the police, he buys into the guy’s rather flimsy story with ridiculous speed, never looking back.  He joins with Price and Sarah Tate (Deborah Kara Unger), a young woman who is trying to reach her dead fiance, into discovering what messages his wife is trying to send him from beyond the grave. 

Rivers becomes increasingly obsessed after hearing his wife on a tape Price plays for him; he buys thousands of dollars of computer equipment, recording equipment, television monitors, and VCRs to spend 20 hours a day recording looking for messages from his wife.  He totally ignores his job and his son, sending him off to live with his ex-wife.  After several attempts he discovers his wife always comes to contact him through the white noise at exactly 2:30 (am or pm seems to not matter to ghosts).  In her message she seems to warn him against some danger. 

Along with seeing his wife he also finds images of people in danger which he later discovers are people still alive that he has a chance to save if he follows the clues his wife has given him (I can’t believe I watched this whole movie!).  Also in the static are three mysterious strangers that have some stake or control in all of this very odd tale.  I won’t tell you anymore about them, not because there’s any kind of plot twist, but simply because that’s as far as these guys were developed.  Even from watching the director’s commentary I was unable to learn anything of interest about them, except that the director thought they were “really cool.”

The extras include 3 documentaries about EVP presented by the experts in the field.  As laughable as the movie is it looks sullen compared to these people walking around hotel rooms with microphones asking ghosts to talk to them.  One of the extras even shows you how you to can record voices from white noise, giving you lists of the equipment you will need and a nice step by step how to guide on how to record.  After watching moments of these extras I seriously wondered whether the makers of this DVD think EVP is complete crap and used this opportunity to let these people show how laughable their “science” is.

Also included are a commentary track with director Geoffrey Sax and Keaton which gives some nice shooting and production stories, but does nothing to explain this stupid, stupid script.  Of course a DVD wouldn’t be complete with out some useless deleted scenes with optional commentary by the director on why they weren’t worthy to be included in this gem of a movie.  Also included are some previews to movies you could be watching rather than this one.
As for the sound and picture quality they are what you would expect from a major studio DVD, with the optional different languages and subtitles. 

The problems in the movie are too numerous to go into much detail, but here are a few.  The movie never explains how people still alive are contacting Keaton’s character through the white noise that only the dead can use (let alone how the dead are doing it).  The three odd gentlemen/creatures are never developed nor explained, nor is the reason why all contact happens at exactly 2:30.  Rivers never once stops to consider he is being hustled, part of an elaborate hoax, or is going insane, all much better explanations for what happens than any given in the movie.  The police never think it’s suspicious when Keaton keeps ending up finding dead bodies, or when the people helping him turn up dead or injured.
The documentaries are unintentionally laugh out loud funny if you can manage to sit through them.  The seriousness that these people take to finding sounds in radio waves or television signals is just so bizarre you can only chuckle.

I can’t really recommend this to anyone; if you believe in EVP you won’t after watching this, and if you don’t you will just see this experience as a terrible waste of time.

One final note, the movie begins with a quote from Thomas Edison, who I honestly believe would have electrocuted himself on his first light bulb if he knew his name would ever be associated to such…….noise.

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Will Ferrell shoots….and kinda scores

Kicking & Screaming won’t take any space on the ‘great sports films’ rack, but it should provide families with some easy laughs and some rainy day diversions.  And if nothing else, it’ll provide moviegoers with the all important tetherball fix we’ve so desperately been lacking.

Kicking & Sreaming
2 & 1/2 Stars

Will Ferrell doesn’t exactly break cinematic ground with Kicking & Screaming, but as yet another entry in the ‘kid sports’ genre, it’s certainly a little unique.  Not nearly as blue-collar and sarcastic as The Bad News Bears (which gets its own update this summer from Richard Linklater and Billy Bob Thorton), K&S provides a lot of unexpected laughs.

Scream, Dracula, scream!

Ferrell plays a meek and embittered vitamin supplement store owner who just can’t measure up to his hyper-competitive dad (Robert Duvall), who just happens to coach the little league soccer team his son plays on.  After Duvall trades Ferrell’s son to another team, Phil decides to coach the perennial losers in an effort to one-up his old man.  Phil brings in the help of Mike Ditka, who has been warring with his dad for years, to get his coaching skills up to par.  By definition and federal mandate, hilarity then ensues.

Put rather simply, Kicking & Screaming is The Mighty Ducks Play Soccer; same idea, same ‘coach becomes win-obsessed jerk’, and same hokey finale.  Except that in this version, the kids are really nothing more than afterthoughts to the comedic force of Will Ferrell, who almost assuredly ad-libbed a good portion of his performance.  You’ll walk out of this movie remembering only Will Ferrell and Mike Ditka (who just steals every scene he’s in). 

There are some inspired moments with Ditka and Duvall, who bring a gleeful malice to their interactions as bickering neighbors, especially to their confrontation over who’s the better coach, but in the end this is Will’s show.  No one does over-the-top reactions like Ferrell, and his moments of lunacy are enough to make you forget just how flimsy the rest of the film is.  It’ll be interesting to see how this effects his steamroller momentum in Hollywood, but I can’t imagine it’ll put too much of a dent in it.  Judging from the audience of soccer kids at the screening, it’ll be a hit with the younger crowd.  After all, there’s nothing kids like more than seeing adults make fools of themselves, and Ferrell is blissfully unafraid to be a complete buffoon.

Kicking & Screaming won’t take any space on the ‘great sports films’ rack, but it should provide families with some easy laughs and some rainy day diversions.  And if nothing else, it’ll provide moviegoers with the all important tetherball fix we’ve so desperately been lacking.

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Danny the Dog

Action fans should be sated by the sheer brutality, and less-visceral seeking filmgoers should find a lot to enjoy with the film’s emotional heart, but Li has a long way to go before he can be judged by his American output.  Overall, Unleashed should provide action fans with some solid, if fleeting, summer enjoyment.

Unleashed
2 & 1/2 Stars

Jet Li, unlike Jackie Chan, hasn’t had a solid American release since his journey to our silver screen, and frankly he’s due.  While he doesn’t possess the charisma or easy charm of some of his Asian ambassador co-horts, Jet Li’s sheer physical prowess and humble attitude should translate easily with American audiences.  Sadly, Unleashed doesn’t exactly live up to the potential he’s shown.  Fortunately, it’s a sight better than previous efforts, if only due to the attention and care brought to the film by writer/producer Luc Besson, and co-stars Morgan Freeman and Bob Hoskins. 

Jet Li says “Arf”

The premise of Unleashed is unique enough to set it apart from the rest of the ‘unwilling hero’ genre that chokes the action film market.  Li stars as Danny, a vicious and unstoppable killer whose been trained to be little more than an attack dog by his low-level mob owner/uncle Bob Hoskins.  Until he’s let loose on whatever target Hoskins has picked, Danny is a meek man-child who doesn’t understand the world around him, but instinctively longs for a better life than the one he’s living.  After an accident, Danny finds his way to Morgan Freeman’s Sam, a blind piano tuner who lives with his teenage daughter Victoria (Kerry Condon).  Sam & Victoria tend to Danny’s wounds both physical and psychological, and try to get him accustomed to the world at large, but Danny’s old life comes back to haunt him as Bob Hoskins relentlessly tries to get back his most prized possession. 

In all actuality, were you to replace Li with Van Damme, Speakman, Seagal, or any other martial arts star, this film’s plot could be easily switched with any number of late 80’s / early 90’s fight flicks.  Tortured hero finds peace only to be dragged back into a life they’ve desperately tried to escape?  That’s about as original as a sunrise, but what sets Unleashed apart is the care paid to Danny’s rehabilitation, and the respectability lent the film by Freeman.  (As an aside, what is it with African-American Oscar winners going for an easy action flick as soon as the Oscar is in their hand?  Halle Berry did it with Die Another Day, Jamie Foxx is starring in a Top Gun-meets-War Games action flick (Stealth) this summer, and Lou Gossett, Jr. went from Officer & A Gentleman to Jaws 3-D.)  Freeman’s performance lends the 2nd Act of Unleashed more respectability than it probably deserves, but for an action film this piece manages to carve out an emotional core that is sorely lack from similar efforts, which makes the 3rd Acts descent into type all the more disappointing.  But until that point, the interaction between Danny and his newfound family is both endearing and uncommon, if a little creepy.  Victoria’s less than platonic interest in Danny is a bit baffling, and none too uncomfortable upon reflection.

The action sequences are among the best Jet Li has been able to produce with an American studio, which might be due to the involvement of Yuen Woo-Ping, the famed fight choreographer.  Director Louis Leterrier finds a perfect balance of brutality and grace in Li’s physical performance, and let’s the camera pull back enough to enjoy the sheer visceral impact of every kick, punch, head-butt, and body slam.  To be sure there’s no shortage of jump cuts and quick edits, but more than not the camera lingers on every hit, which drives home just how impressive Jet Li remains, even at the age of 43.  Similarly, the camera work on Unleashed is above the norm, with Luc Besson’s influence seeping through in every frame with subdued color work and striking camera movement.  Had a little bit more care been shown in how the last act played out, Unleashed might have been able to really distinguish itself from the current slate of punch-out films, but as it is Li will have to settle for better than average.

Action fans should be sated by the sheer brutality, and less-visceral seeking filmgoers should find a lot to enjoy with the film’s emotional heart, but Li has a long way to go before he can be judged by his American output.  Overall, Unleashed should provide action fans with some solid, if fleeting, summer enjoyment.

Danny the Dog Read More »