Bruce Willis

Red 2

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Red 2
  • IMDB: link

Red 2Not every movie deserves a sequel. Based on the early 2000’s comic from Warren Ellis and Cully Hamner, Red was good dumb fun about retired spies forced to get back into the game when their past caught up with them. Not straining any brain muscles, the sequel is roughly the same premise as Frank Moses (Bruce Willis), Marvin (John Malkovich), and Frank’s girlfriend Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker) find themselves marked for death based on Frank and Marvin’s part in a secret operation more than three decades ago.

The movie begins in much the same way as another of Willis’ regrettable sequels as the former spy attempts to lay low in the suburbs with a girlfriend who wants more crazy adventures. Forced on the run, the threesome are pursued by the world’s best hitman (Byung-hun Lee) with a personal score to settle, as well as Victoria (Helen Mirren) who is ordered by MI6 to put Frank and Marvin in the ground. Brian Cox reprises his role as Ivan, and the movie also offers up Catherine Zeta-Jones as the Russian spy who has Frank wrapped around her little finger and Anthony Hopkins as a mad scientist locked away for 30 years.

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A (Not So) Good Day to Die Hard

/ / Home Video
  • Title: A Good Day to Die Hard
  • IMDB: link

A (Not So) Good Day to Die HardThe latest installment resembles the original Die Hard only in that it stars Bruce Willis and things blow up from time to time. To call Skip Woods‘ screenplay idiotic and ill-conceived would be an understatement. I’ve actually enjoyed every other Die Hard film so far, but the latest one chooses to put John McClane (Willis) in the role of comic relief while centering the movie around John’s thoroughly uninteresting son (Jai Courtney).

The plot, such as it is, involves evil Russian scientists and billionaires (Sebastian Koch, Sergei Kolesnikov) who caused Chernobyl (on purpose). I swear I’m not making this up; somebody actually thought this was a good idea for a movie. Throw in McClane catching a plane to Russia to see his estranged son who has been arrested (but is really part of a super-secret CIA mission) and you’ve got a complicated mess of a story involving uninspired twists, shifting loyalties, and betrayal.

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G.I. JOE: Retaliation

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: G.I. JOE: Retaliation
  • IMDB: link

G.I. JOE: RetaliationFour years after the train wreck that was G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra, the sequel finally makes it to theaters after converting the movie to 3D and shooting additional scenes to cash-in on Channing Tatum‘s increased celebrity. G.I. JOE: Retaliation doesn’t prove to be worth the wait, but it’s certainly far better than the original.

For those of you unlucky enough to have witnessed the first film, you know that the terrorist organization known as Cobra had risen. Even if they had been defeated by the American special anti-terrorism force known as G.I. JOE, one of Cobra’s own, the master of disguise known as Zartan (Arnold Vosloo), had taken the place of the President of the United States (Jonathan Pryce).

G.I. JOE: Retaliation picks up some months later with President Zartan orchestrating the public disgrace and destruction of the JOEs while Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) and Firefly (Ray Stevenson) break Cobra Commander (now played by Luke Bracey) out of futuristic prison in an overly-elaborate plan.

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Looper

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Looper
  • IMDB: link

looper-posterWritten and directed by Rian Johnson (Brick, The Brothers Bloom), Looper gives us a time travel story that focuses on how far a man will go to protect his future, and how far the world will go to stop him. In the year 2072 time travel has been outlawed but is still used by gangsters and shady corporate big wigs who send their victims back in time to be killed in the days before the invention of time travel by hired assassins known as Loopers, thus creating the perfect crime.

The film centers around the actions of a single Looper named Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) whose largely empty life is filled by bad diner coffee, learning French, doing lots of drugs, shooting hooded strangers who suddenly appear in an empty field and disposing of their bodies, and carrying a torch for a stripper (an alluring, and scantily clad, Piper Perabo) who cares only for his money. In other words, his life is perfect (for what he wants out of life – money, women, and drugs), at least until the arrival of his Loop (Bruce Willis) derails his entire future.

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