Guilty Pleasures

• Title: Action Jackson
• IMDB: link

1988’s attempt to turn Carl Weathers into an action star leading man fizzled with both audiences and critics making less money than Funny Farm, Short Circuit 2, or Ernest Saves Christmas. The premise of the film was to cast Weathers as the toughest cop in town (who we know is tough because various supporting members of the cast keep telling us that Jackson is such a bad ass).

The storyline involved Detroit Detective “Action” Jackson taking a second run at a powerful local businessman (Craig T. Nelson) Jackson knew, but was unable to tie, to the deaths of several union members who worked for the man’s company. When Dellaplane’s wife (Sharon Stone) comes forward to offer Jackson the proof he needs to take the man down, the auto magnate frames the cop for her murder forcing Jackson to rely on the help of Dellaplane’s heroin-addicted mistress (Vanity) and a hairdresser (Armelia McQueen), to prove his innocence and set things right.

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• Title: The Pirate Movie
• IMDB: link

Loosely based on Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Pirates of Penzance, 1982’s The Pirate Movie starred Kristy McNichol as mousey young Mabel lost in a dream of swashbuckling, and singing, pirates. After an accident leaves her thrown overboard and washed up on a beach, Mabel’s imagination creates a fantasy world casting herself as the youngest daughter of a Major-General (Bill Kerr) who falls for a young pirate named Frederic (Christopher Atkins) adamant on leaving his service of the Pirate King (Ted Hamilton) to start a new life.

The plot, which involves Fredric’s attempt to leave his old life behind while trying to stay true to his word and duty, is secondary to how insanely everything is played including some memorable music numbers such as “Pumpin’ and Blowin'” (you can find the video below). I’ll be honest, the film doesn’t work as well for me as it did when I was seven years-old, but it still provides enough enjoyment for me to classify it as a guilty pleasure.

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• Title: Stroker Ace
• IMDB: link

Burt Reynolds stars as hot-shot race car driver Stroker Ace whose talent for winning is only surpassed by his inability to get along with his sponsors.

After burning bridges with every other race team Stroker finds himself forced to sign with fried chicken franchise mogul Clyde Torkle (Ned Beatty) who gets the most out of his new star attraction by parading him around like a prized bird (sometimes literally).

Unable to get out of the binding contract Stroker is forced to put up with his new situation.  However, things aren’t all bad.  He’s still got his mechanic buddy (Jim Nabors) and his new position did introduce him to Torkle’s secretary Pembrook Feeney (Loni Anderson), a woman with an unlikely secret.

Aside from many Nascar drivers who show up in cameos during the film there are a couple of small performances worth mentioning including Bubba Smith as Torkle’s chauffeur Arnold and Parker Stevenson as the new hot-shot driver gunning for Stroker’s spot as Nascar’s #1 driver whose name Stroker can never quite remember.

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