Salma Hayek

The Vampire’s Assistant

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant
  • IMDB: link

vampires-assistant-posterI’m pretty sure Ed Wood would have loved Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant. Messy, flawed, riddled with odd choices and questionable casting, and stuck with a plot that make less, not more, sense as it progresses, The Vampire’s Assistant is in every way a B-movie. And, I’ll admit, I kinda liked it.

Based on a series of novels by Darren Shan the film’s main plot revolves around a rather bland high school student, Darren (Chris Massoglia), and his more rambunctious best friend Steve (Josh Hutcherson) whose main purpose it seems is to get Darren into as much trouble as possible.

A night out takes the pair to a freak show where events unfold that lead Darren into an agreement with vampire Larten Crepsley (John C. Reilly) in order to save his friend. Leaving behind his life, Darren becomes part vampire, and begins his new life in the Cirque de Freak as Crepsley’s assistant.

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Across the Universe

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Across the Universe
  • IMDb: link

“All you need is love.”

Across the Universe

The film begins with an English dock worker named Jude (Jim Sturgess) who travels to America to find his father.  His journey takes him to a college where he befriends a screw-up named Max (Joe Anderson) and falls head-over-heels for Max’s sister Lucy (Evan Rachel Wood).

Traveling to NY with Max Jude finds himself living with a nightclub singer (Dana Fuchs), a guitar player (Martin Luther), and a young lesbian named Prudence (T.V. Carpio) struggling with her place in the world.  Making a living as an artist and designer Jude enjoys his new world until the terrors of war fracture the group’s fragile peace.

What follows is an exploration of love against the backdrop of the 1960’s, Vietnam, civil unrest, violence, and change.  Max is drafted, Lucy becomes a civil activist, fame and glory strain the relationship between Sadie and JoJo.  The world changes and each struggles once again to find their place in it, stay true to themselves, and grow and change with the times.

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Leave it to the Catholics to Destroy Existence

/ / Home Video
  • Title: Dogma
  • IMDb: link

I give huge props to anyone who attempts to do a religious film, much less a religious comedy.  The level of controversy, protests, and roadblocks, has to be at time overwhelming.  Hate mail, death threats, money and distribution issues, and a host of new actors who he hadn’t worked with before and special effects shots which he’d never done – and you know what?  Kevin Smith proves his doubters wrong.  It’s a pretty entertainin’ flick, which underneath the giant poop monster and “bad language” actually has a few insightful things to say about the nature of religion.

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After the Sunset

/ / Home Video
  • Title: After the Sunset
  • IMDB: link

I’m not a huge Brett Ratner fan, but of all his movies this is probably my favorite.  I like heist flicks and After the Sunset is a good, though not great, one.  Brosnan’s charm, Harrelson’s wackiness, and Hayek’s beauty make this an enjoyable little film.

Max (Pierce Brosnan) and Lola (Salma Hayek) pull their last heist in Los Angeles stealing the second Napoleon diamond from FBI Agent Stan Lloyd (Woody Harrelson) before retiring to the Bahamas.  On arrival Lola is content with retirement, but Max grows bored.  His boredom comes to an end when Stan shows up telling him that the third Napoleon diamond is on it’s way to the Bahamas and dares him to try and steal it.

Max is in a quandary as Lola wants nothing more than to be married and leave their criminal past in, well, the past.  Also involved is a local gangster Henri Moore (Don Cheadle) who wants Max to steal the diamond to help him pay for his gun running, prostitution, and drug business.

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