2 Razors

The Warrior’s Way

/ / Home Video
  • Title: The Warrior’s Way
  • IMDB: link

the-warriors-way-dvdDong-gun Jang stars as the world’s most dangerous swordsman who refuses to kill the last remaining member of a rival clan. Instead he makes his way to America with the young baby to lose himself in the Old West.

Now marked for death by his own people, Yang attempts to hide himself in a small town at the edge of the desert in a town full of broken people and carnies who make up one of the strangest Old West small towns you’re ever likely to see on-screen.

The town has troubles of its own in the form of a vicious gang leader (Danny Huston) who occasionally terrorizes the town by showing up to rape its young women. Yang befriends one of the villain’s previous victims (Kate Bosworth) and helps her to learn the ways of the sword to take her revenge – just as he did.

Of course the villain’s gang and the entire Sad Flutes clan arrive at the same time and blood is spilled, revenge is had, and our hero, in true western fashion, walks off into the sunset alone.

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The Eagle

/ / Home Video
  • Title: The Eagle
  • IMDB: link

the-eagle-dvd20 years after the mysterious disappearance of the Ninth Legion in the wilds of Northern Britain the son (Channing Tatum) of the legion’s commander goes in search to restore his family’s honor by recovering the Legion’s standard – a golden eagle. Along for the ride is his slave Esca (Jamie Bell) who knows the terrain and people north of Hadrian’s Wall. The pair trade places as the slave becomes the master and tensions fray near the breaking point as they discover the final resting place of the Legion, the fate of Marcus’ father, and the whereabouts of the eagle.

Similar to Centurion (read that review), The Eagle far less ambitious and poorly handled. The film is saddled with some astonishingly bad dialogue, a wooden leading man, a mind-dulling final hour, and a poorly thought-out ending.

The DVD and Blu-ray include the theatrical cut as well as an unrated version of the film, an alternate ending, deleted scenes, a behind-the-scenes featurette, and commentary by director Kevin Macdonald.

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Flashpoint: Kid Flash Lost (in the Matrix) #1

/ / Comics

flashpoint-kid-flash-1-coverSo, Kid Flash is not only lost in the Flashpoint universe, he’s also in the 31st Century. He’s a time traveler, I guess that’ll be okay. And, like Barry Allen he’s disconnected from the Speed Force. Sounds kinda boring, but maybe the story will be good. The 31st Century is ruled by Braniac. Braniac? Sigh, okay. And he’s turned the entire world into The Matrix. Wait, what?

Sigh. We begin with a scene between Barry Allen and Bart that is makes Michael Bay’s Transfromers look subtle in comparision. Given the level of dickishness he’s showing to his grandson it’s obvious what Bart is experiencing isn’t real. I mean, who does this fake Barry think he is, Hal Jordan?

It’s too bad that story isn’t real, because once Kid Flash is pulled into the real world (and starts disappearing) things get even worse. And that’s hard to do when you’ve got an impressive super-villain base filled with killer robots. Of course it’s made infinitely easier if you just steal your plot from The Matrix. Pass.

[DC, $2.99]

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Flashpoint: Grodd of War

/ / Comics

flashpoint-grodd-of-war-coverWhen I saw the list for the different spin-off titles for Flashpoint one that caught my eye was this one-shot centered around the character of Grodd, a devious genius with advanced telepathic abilities… who happens to be a gorilla. The idea of giving Grodd his own Flashpoint title seemed like a good one. The reality? Not so much.

Aside from the brutal beatdown and vicious murder of his own solider (alas, Congorilla we knew you well) there’s almost nothing memorable about anything that takes place in these pages. The story centers around Grodd’s vicious nature, his death wish, and total control of the African continent, but none of it leads anywhere. (Although he does still manage to pile up a body count without trying all that hard.)

This is a comic abot a telepathic talking gorilla. It should be fun. But when the only excitement you get is one gorilla ripping off another’s head for no purpose other than to showcase what a bad ass he is, you know you’re in trouble. Pass.

[DC, $2.99]

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Drive Angry

/ / Home Video
  • Title: Drive Angry
  • IMDB: link

drive-angry-blu-ray

The biggest problem with this grindhouse/70’s style car flick from Todd Farmer and Patrick Lussier is the almost complete lack of fun. A little humor, maybe a couple of sly winks at the camera, would have helped a story hellbent (so to speak) on trying to be gritty.

Nicolas Cage stars as an escaped soul from Hell who has returned to Earth to kill the leader of a Satanic cult (Billy Burke) who murdered his daughter and plans to sacrifice his granddaughter to bring about Hell on Earth. He’s assisted by a spunky waitress (Amber Heard, the only one here who seems to be enjoying herself) and hunted by an Accountant (William Fichtner) enlisted to return him to Hell.

Here’s what I knew going into Drive Angry: Nicolas Cage is occasionally wildly entertaining when choosing crazy projects like this one, and Amber Heard is really hot.

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