2 Razors

Fortune Cookie Warrior

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Peaceful Warrior
  • IMDb: link

Peaceful Warrior

The film has a nice message that may resonate with those of a religious persuasion (though there is no actual religion in the film) or those that love to buy self-help books.  The message, however, is so poorly presented that it’s impossible to take seriously when all were given is a series of simplistic sentences, which would be more at home inside a fortune cookie, attempting to sound more meaningful than they are.

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National Lamppon’s Vaca…,er, RV?

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: We’re the Millers
  • IMDB: link

rv-posterBefore we start click and watch the trailer for this film.  Go ahead, I’ll wait….hmm…hmm…hmm…

Oh, you’re back?  Okay answer me this – Did you think that trailer was really funny or kinda’ lame?  Your answer to that question will tell you whether to go see the film as it’s just 98 minutes of the same dumb dad, hip-hop white son, bitchy teenage daughter, redneck RV campers, shit jokes, and yodelling.  Yeah…I’d pass too.  It’s not that it’s horrible, but seriously why waste an hour and a half of your life on something this dumb and pointless?

Disconnected from his family and in trouble at work Bob Munro (Robin Williams) decides to gather his family, his teenage daughter Cassie (JoJo) and son Carl (Josh Hutcherson) and wife Jamie (Cheryl Hines), together and take an family vacation to Colorado (while secretly working on his proposal).  Since his family was set on a trip to Hawaii they aren’t too happy with the change in plans.

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National Lamppon’s Vaca…,er, RV? Read More »

Assassin or Soccer Mom?

/ / Home Video
  • Title: Elektra (Unrated Director’s Cut)
  • IMDB: link

Okay, I’m one of the few people that liked 2003’s Daredevil which stayed true to both the character and storyline of the comic character.  Elektra tries something different and the result is both ridiculously bad and unintentionally funny. 

The film takes story elements from two Elecktra graphic novels, Elektra Lives Again and Wolverine/Elektra: Redeemer sans Wolverine, that don’t really fit together and then hired some guy to fill in the rest of the film with what he thought sounded like comic book dialogue.  The result is a train wreck of a film that never can pull all, or really any, of its elements together.

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Into the Blue

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Into the Blue
  • IMDb: link

Into the BlueWhat can you say about a movie that strives to meet your low expectations? Into the Blue is not really a bad film, just a mediocre one. Stop me if you’ve heard this before, a group of mostly honest people find something valuable, but to get it they will have to bend or break the law.  As the pressure mounts the group begins to fracture with distrust, but in the end everything will turn out swell and we’ll have all learned a moral lesson.  If you haven’t seen that movie, I dunno, like a hundred zillion times then you’re in luck, because here’s your film. And hey, Jessica Alba spends almost twenty minutes in a bikini.

Sam (Jessica Alba) and her beach-bum boy-toy Jared (Paul Walker) live somewhere on beautiful beaches of what appears to be the Bahamas making a living in various tourist attractions while hoping that one day they might find some buried treasure in the deep of the ocean. Old friend Bryce (Scott Caan ) shows up with his new lady Amanda (Ashley Scott) and they go out for a boat ride and low and behold they stumble onto something.

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